The habit of thinking badly of others

Thinking badly of others is mainly a habit that arises from prejudice.. The worst thing is that it is a behavior that usually carries the seeds of its own confirmation. This means that the expectation that others will act badly or cause harm often ends up becoming a reality because of the person who thinks that way.

Those who adopt the habit of thinking badly of others are usually people who have had surprising and negative experiences in the past. The problem itself is not those experiences, but the lack of elaboration of them. They have been marked and give rise to this bias that, unfortunately, often leads to being subject to new harm.

Feeling disappointed by others causes suffering. Being disappointed by another is a painful experience and not easy to overcome, especially because it generally involves a betrayal of trust, deception, or significant inconsideration. However, It is up to each one to work through that pain. or allow it to perpetuate forever.

Think badly of others

The habit of thinking badly of others is a way of anticipating possible damage . It is based on the idea that, if we do not pay attention, we will be deceived. Or that if we do not attack, we will be attacked. Sometimes we also do harm to avoid being hurt or, in any case, we expect the worst from the other because we don’t want to be taken by surprise.

The consequence of this is that we end up creating superfluous links and defensive towards others, whether they deserve it or not. We then deprive ourselves of the joy that comes from showing ourselves as we are, without shields or calculations. Likewise, we stop experiencing the joy that comes from establishing an intimate bond with someone.

The worst of all is that we end up inducing others, in one way or another, to comply with that negative expectation. What do we have about them?. A distrustful person generates distrust, as well as distance. It also causes negative thoughts to arise around her. The result is a tense situation full of precautions.

If you stand in front of a dog and show great fear, it is very likely that it will attack you.. This is because the animal interprets your fear as preparation for combat. Keeping the proportions, that can also happen among humans.

Negative experiences from the past

A person who tends to think badly of others suffers from it, even if he or she does not admit it. This habit impoverishes her life and helps keep the disappointments of the past alive all the time. It is also possible that you develop harmful behaviors with others, due to your defensive attitude.

Suffering that is not faced, addressed and elaborated on, ends up becoming an axis for life.. Nobody mistrusts others just because. There is enormous disappointment behind this attitude, and often such disappointment came from someone deeply loved or greatly depended on.

Their rejection, abandonment or harm came as a surprise. This is precisely what marks the most: the fact of having trusted someone and then seeing that that trust was betrayed. Anyone who has been a victim of such a situation blames themselves and resolves not to fall into a similar deception again.

Elaborate the pain

All people fail us sometimes, just as we do. There is no one who goes through life without having caused some kind of disappointment to others. Human beings are neither angels nor demons. We make mistakes often and sometimes some people get hurt because of those mistakes.

Fighting with all of humanity does not make things easier, quite the opposite.. It makes disappointment the central focus of life and makes us prisoners of it. The way out is not to weaken all our defenses and trust everyone overnight. Rather, what it is about is going back to those episodes that marked us so deeply.

More than forgiving others, it is important to make peace with ourselves. If we trust and we were deceived or let down, that has more to do with the person who did it, than with us. It was that someone who made a mistake, because we did the right thing: trust.

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