The fear of losing is bigger than any storm

I think you’ve been through a moment like this, honey, when the fear you have of losing the person who makes you happy is greater than any torment or storm. When that thing that corrodes inside is an enormous fear of loneliness; and when I say loneliness I don’t say being alone, I say feeling empty of yourself.

I’ve felt like this, baby, empty of myself. As if nothing I put inside tickled; as if none of what I felt, or lived, or thought, was enough for me to find a north. Everything passed through me and left without leaving any traces, without causing this thing of nostalgia, the desire to remain.

SEE TOO:

• What is the name of your longing?

You came and filled me. It took away all my emptiness and completed me; today I transfer. I searched a long time for something that would make me feel this way, and I found it in you.

That’s how I feel, baby: with a fear of losing you that is greater than any torment or storm. It’s windy outside and it rains hard; around the corner there is a war and people have been killing each other for so little. What’s been killing me here inside is this thing of not knowing if tomorrow I’ll wake up with you by my side or not; if tomorrow there will be cafuné and a big hug that saves us from the end of the world.

SEE TOO:

• Screw it, I still miss you and I wish you were missing mine too

I do not know, my dear. It has been so. Everything that brings me the possibility of losing you deconstructs me. It is something that hurts the soul and crushes the heart; that pierces and burns the skin. I don’t want to feel lonely again; I don’t want to feel empty and absent from myself. Look me in the eye and say you stay. That you fill me and that you stay. Maybe then the fear will go away, the storm will cause me some fear, and I’ll sleep smiling.