The consequences of indifference

Indifference is a neutral emotional state. We usually define an indifferent person as someone who “neither feels nor suffers.” It is a feeling that keeps the person who has this condition on the sidelines. However, when we receive a blow of indifference from someone, their claws cause painful wounds.

To think of someone as indifferent is to attribute a series of adjectives to them, which have little or nothing to do with the ideal of a virtuous person. Indifference is associated with insensitivity, detachment or coldness. These are characteristics that are assumed to be contrary to the social condition that human beings have and that cause us to relate to each other.

Being indifferent implies that “nothing matters to us”. That we don’t feel anything about a situation or person, that “everything doesn’t matter to us.” Even if we are sure that this is the case, we should ask ourselves if it is possible to isolate our emotions in this way. But what is true is that when we show indifference towards something or someone, what we do is distance ourselves from that person or that circumstance.

indifference hurts

Popular wisdom says that appearing indifferent is the harshest response, even when you expect little. When we show it off, This attitude is one of the most aggressive and painful that we can project. Showing indifference to someone implies that you are withdrawing all your feelings, that they do not exist for you. Is there anything more cruel?

For this reason they say that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Because there is nothing worse than giving a person exactly the same. Seeing you happy or sad is the same. This hurts a lot if it is someone close to you, a couple, someone in the family, a parent…

This indifference shatters our expectations of those people we thought would be there.. Instead of finding support, we found nothing.

In fact, sometimes we prefer to receive some unpleasant word, because it denotes that the other person still cares about us. But when we don’t receive even a sign, we feel like we no longer matter.

What are the consequences of indifference?

As we already said, indifference does not only apply to people, but also to events or circumstances. In the first case, the consequences will affect the bond of those involved; while in the second, it will have a more social effect.

Let’s see the consequences of indifference in each situation.

Consequences of indifference in a relationship

In a relationship, friendship, family or work, indifference usually damages the quality of the bond and the well-being of those involved. Producing the following effects:

1. Confusion and unrest

When we are victims of another person’s indifference, the most natural thing is that we feel disconcerted and uneasy. Immediately We begin to question what we have done to deserve that kind of treatment., just as we also begin to doubt about fidelity, love, support, affection, etc. that has been present in the relationship.

It is even common for these doubts to lead to the justification of this indifference towards ourselves.

2. Low self-esteem and personal insecurity

People who are objects of indifference begin to develop low self-esteem and insecurities. Well, this form of abuse It makes people believe that they are too little to generate a response in others.

In other words, The disinterest that others show towards oneself can sow doubts regarding what we can offer. Doubts that can be related to any personal aspect, such as: physical appearance, abilities, virtues, ways of being, etc.

3. Emotional discomfort

The victim of indifference also feels deep emotional discomfort, to the extent that the other isolates it, discredits it and diminishes its value. In fact, indifference is considered a type of psychological abuse whose damage affects the emotional level significantly.

4. Manipulation

In some cases, indifference is used as a manipulation strategy. Especially when the victims justify this type of abuse towards themselves, because The guilt experienced leads them to do anything to repair the situation and get the other person to return their interest..

However, we must remember that indifference in these circumstances is never justified, and that Disagreements in a relationship must be resolved through assertive dialogue and empathy..

5. Feeling of loneliness

The victim of indifference may also feel that they are alone and that no one cares.. Especially when this mistreatment is repeated and the people who apply it are close to her, such as a partner, family or friends.

6. Destroys communication

As we already said, communication is essential to resolve conflicts and understand each other better within a relationship. In fact, it has been proven that healthy communication is an indicator of satisfaction in couples.

Nevertheless, Indifference prevents those involved from sitting down to talk, as it creates a barrier that increasingly separates them and increases the severity of disagreements..

7. Break the link

As a consequence of all of the above, the relationship is damaged. Friends separate, families distance themselves, and relationships go straight to breakup. And, those cases that decide to continue with the relationship will live in constant discomfort.

Consequences of indifference in society

For its part, when indifference is not applied to a specific person, but is assumed as an attitude towards society, the consequences may be the following:

1. Disinterest in political problems

Many people They are indifferent to the political problems of their society and pretend that what happens at that level will not affect them at all.. The truth is that political indifference translates into less participation in electoral processes, which contributes to poor public administration.

2. Lack of kindness

Being kind means being supportive, understanding and kind to those around us; Furthermore, it involves helping those who need it most. In this sense, indifference is the opposite of kindness. Well, the indifferent He does not show interest in others, he does not lend his help or succor those who are in trouble.

3. Lack of knowledge of social initiatives

From the above emerges the disinterest in those causes that in a certain way contribute to the progress of society. He who is indifferent to society, He is unaware that there are initiatives that help make his environment a better place.

AND, The more indifferent there are in society, the fewer charitable causes will prosper.

4. Disobedience

When people they feel indifferent to certain social normsthey may break them more easily.

5. Complicity in wrong actions

Social indifference can also lead people to be complicit in atrocious acts. For example, those who are indifferent to racism, xenophobia or homophobia can be classified as complicit in these movements. Well, Doing nothing about it means contributing to the perpetuation of these actions.

What are the consequences for the indifferent?

For its part, Indifferent people also suffer the consequences of their attitude. In this case, some of them are:

Isolationeither because he does not want to interact with others, or because others reject his indifferent attitude. Feeling of loneliness.Higher anxiety levels.Low self-esteem.Lack of moral values.

Therefore, indifference is not the best response, neither for others nor for oneself.

Facing indifference

As we already said, indifference entails suffering for those who feel it, generating unbearable tensions and confusion. That’s why you have to know how to deal with it.

The first step is to try a gradual approach to the other person to let you know how your attitude affects us.

There may not be an immediate answer, but it is advisable to be patient, it is not good to close yourself off. Sometimes a period of reflection leads the other person to take that expected step. Or perhaps you can find someone to act as a mediator.

However, sometimes we may not get the approach we are looking for. In that case it is best to accept what is happening.. Obsession with someone’s indifference can lead us to go through very unpleasant moments.

Impermanence

When we accept indifference, we must begin to look to the horizon with the idea that We will not always matter to others as we would like.. Although it is a painful process, thinking about it will help us know that our happiness cannot depend on a single person. If they decide to be indifferent to us, forcing them to listen to us is not the best option. Better to learn to let go.

When you come to the conclusion that the other person has no intention of changing their behavior, it is best to distance yourself. You can always find other people who value us and who we can rely on.

In this way, we will have understood the Buddhist concept of impermanence, that is, everything changes: whoever is your friend today may no longer be your friend tomorrow. If we integrate this into our daily practice, it will be easier for us to experience the indifference of another person.

You might be interested…