The 9 main causes of divorce

The main causes of divorce are very varied. However, most of them have to do with pacts that are broken. Many of these agreements are established at the beginning of the relationship, although it is not always done explicitly. Along the way, one of the two proves unable to fulfill his part.

Beyond the definition of the main causes of divorce, What always tends to prevail is the difficulty in processing conflicts. It is normal for a couple to have disagreements and problems, but these become unsolvable and painful when they are not managed in a calm and mature way.

Relationship problems also have a lot to do with communication. Sometimes you can’t ask for what you want, in the right way. Likewise, many times a deaf ear is turned to the demands of the other. This element is implicit in several of the main causes of divorce.

That said, let’s look at the nine most common.

1. Lack of commitment

One of the main causes of divorce is the lack of emotional commitment to the other. Sometimes There is no time, or there is simply no willingness to meet the couple’s expectations or needs.. It is overlooked, it is not included in the plans or the relationship is simply not given space.

Often this is a result of deeper realities. It happens when the relationship is assumed exclusively from an emotional point of view. So that the couple work requires rationality and decision makingsince affects are unstable and tend to transform over time.

2. Continuous aggression

In this case the emotions are on the surface and remain alive, but in the wrong way. Continuous aggressiveness speaks of unresolved problems in the couple. The constant anger It is a manifestation of frustration of disagreement, resentment or rejection. It remains valid because no way has been found to get to the bottom of what is happening.

It also happens that one of the members of the couple has difficulties with himself and turns the other into the “sparring” of his disagreement.

With continuous attacks, the possibility of speaking is undermined and when this happens, the problem prolongs and intensifies. Little by little, only raw wounds and a chain of resentment remain. which then cannot be undone.

3. Infidelity, one of the main causes of divorce

Infidelity is another of the main causes of divorce. It is one of those cases in which an agreement, implicit or explicit, within the couple is broken. Sometimes this fact seals the end of a relationship that was already very deteriorated, while in other cases it corresponds to a lightness that ends up having serious consequences.

There are relationships that resist infidelity, while in others it becomes an affront that is impossible to overcome. It is usual that the lie is more painful for the deceived person than the infidelity itself.. What is broken here is trust and without it, it is basically impossible to move forward.

4. Disappointed expectations

There are many couples who come together based on unrealistic or very high expectations regarding the relationship and coexistence itself. Living together implies a change in lifestyle, which includes gratifications, but also sacrifices and difficulties.

It is important that both have a good willingness to adapt. No matter how compatible they are, they will not always agree on the small details of everyday life. Likewise, if the couple is idealized, what follows is disappointment. It is important to know yourself well before joining and, if not, be open to adaptation.

5. Lack of equity

One of the crucial aspects in a couple’s relationship is the reasonable distribution of commitments.. Aspects such as financial contributions, household chores, childcare and everything that is managed in common must be organized in such a way that it is equitable.

One of the main causes of divorce is a lack of equity in one or more of these aspects. If one of the spouses feels that all responsibility, in some aspect, falls solely on him, he will surely not be happy.. Especially if this is not compensated by release of responsibilities in another aspect.

6. Abuse

Abuse is a special case, which should always be looked at carefully. Corresponds to cases in which there are behaviors that exceed the moral limits of the relationship. This abuse can be emotional, physical or sexual in nature.

Those couples in which there is abuse are usually reluctant to divorce, precisely because the abusive structure generates very strong bonds, even if they are unhealthy. More than one of the main causes of divorce, it should become one of the main reasons to achieve it.

7. Economic difficulties

Financial difficulties do not have great weight, if the relationship is healthy. On the other hand, when there are problems of other types, many of them tend to focus on the issue of money. The financial aspect can become a means of blackmail, submission or competition. Sometimes individual frustrations due to a life project that does not satisfy are also transferred to finances.

8. Lack of communication

Lack of communication is one of the main reasons why a couple goes to therapy. This lack Not only does it mean that they both don’t talk enough, but when they do, it seems like neither of them understands each other properly..

This may be because they do not know how to express themselves clearly or because they do not know how to listen, although it is usually a mixture of both. If this situation is not addressed in time, divorce will be an almost certain fate.

9. Change of priorities

It is very likely that the priorities of each member of the couple will change over time. For example, at the beginning of the marriage, both may be comfortable with the idea of ​​not having children, but, as time goes by, one or both of them may begin to consider this possibility.

The problem occurs when one’s priorities change in the opposite direction to those of their partner. and no one is willing to give in. Continuing with the previous example, the fact that one wants children and the other does not, can be a very important reason for divorce.

As you can see, The main reasons for divorce have to do with problems that many couples also overcome, with the exception of abuse. Whatever the case, both coming together and breaking up are life-changing decisions and should be given the importance and depth they deserve.

You might be interested…