6 keys to be more extroverted

Each individual has their own personality: a very particular combination of different traits. This integration, as if it were the mixture of the different basic colors of a palette, configures the different types of personality that we can find. Among these basic tones, extroversion – or extraversion – and introversion stand out.

Many people wonder how they can be a little more extroverted.. Social pressure can make us want to be more open, sociable and kind. On other occasions, it is not pressure that fuels this desire, but rather the advantages that extroversion has in certain contexts. But regardless of the reasons, how can you become more extroverted?

How to be more extroverted

Extroverted people are characterized by being sociable, affable, cheerful, expressive, optimistic and skilled at relating and making friends. They are adventurous, they like to take risks and, at times, they tend to be very impulsive and carefree. The essential trait of extroverts is their great ability to socialize.

Below, you will find some keys to being more extroverted. We do not intend for you to become a person you are not, someone different from what resonates within you. Rather, the point is that you use them to make a small adjustment.

Knowing how to start and maintain conversations helps you be more extroverted.

1. Start conversations

Start the conversation. If you are very shy, this may be difficult for you, but if you want to be more extroverted, you can start by taking the initiative. Remember that these types of people are very sociable. What can you do to start a conversation?

Comment on the context. For example, “how hot (or cold) it is today”, “what a nice place”, “the traffic is terrible today”. The comment you make must be related to the situation you find yourself in, otherwise you will give the impression of being a misplaced person.Ask a casual question about what the other person is doing. You can also make an observation, but be careful, lest you seem too intrusive. You better start with a question.Ask the other person for advice or an opinion on a topic interesting. If it is a topic of social interest, the better. For example, presidential votes, changes in public transportation fares, etc.

Try to practice with people who are familiar with you, like coworkers or schoolmates you’ve never spoken to. This may be easier for you, since they are not a complete stranger to you, nor are you a complete stranger to them. Then you can try it with people you don’t know.

2. Keep the conversation going

The difficult thing is not starting a conversation, but knowing how to maintain it. Therefore, it is important that on your path to being more extroverted you learn how to maintain a conversation. Here we offer you some keys:

Ask open-ended questions so the other person has to talk more. If you ask closed questions, such as yes or no, you will surely not get more information and you will be stuck without knowing what to ask. The more the other person talks, the more you can ask. Avoid closed questions such as “where”, “when”, “who”. Use open-ended “how,” “what,” “why” questions. This way you can keep the conversation going for longer. When they ask you questions, try to offer free information, that is, content that is not already included in the question. For example, if they ask you: “What do you do?” You can answer: “I am a psychologist. Next week I have to do a workshop with mothers who have lost a child.” Free information allows the other person to also ask you more questions.Make self-disclosures, that is, offer information about yourself, your interests and passions. This allows the other person to get to know you better. Don’t forget to be careful what you reveal and who you tell it to. Be cautious.

3. Listen actively

To have a good conversation you must know how to listen to what others say, so you can not only get to know them, but also ask more questions and open new routes of conversation.

Active listening generates security and trust, and facilitates relationships with other people. With this type of listening you will not only make the other person feel heard, you will also make them feel understood.

Remember that communication is key to being an extrovert, so you must train yourself in the art of listening.

4. Use non-verbal language

Extroverts tend to be expressive, especially with non-verbal language.. Try to make eye contact when you talk to people and smile. Let people notice that you are animated when talking to them, through smiles, eye contact and active listening.

Also try not to assume rigid postures, such as crossing your arms or legs. Use your hands to accompany the speech or to convey to the other person that you are listening.

5. Be assertive

Who likes to associate with disrespectful people who disregard the opinions and feelings of others when they express their points of view? To nobody.

We all like to deal with educated people who respect us despite our differences. These types of people are known as assertive, since they express what they feel and think with respect, kindness and empathy.

If you want to be extroverted and cultivate good relationships, you must start by being assertive and developing your emotional intelligence. The latter will allow you to identify and understand people’s emotions and know how to act accordingly.

Assertiveness helps to express one’s own feelings and opinions, respecting those of others.

6. Participate in group activities

Participating in group activities allows you to interact with other people and put the previous keys into practice. To become a little more extroverted, you must start practicing, otherwise it will be very difficult for you to get used to the use of these cues and the characteristics of this type of people.

It is not necessary that you belong to a large group, a small one is enough. Find a group about something you like and that allows you to socialize. Integrating into a group will help you become familiar with the dynamics of talking to others and making new friends.

Being an extrovert, when it doesn’t come spontaneously, is not easy. As a rule, it implies that you get involved in contexts of high social stimulation. However, showing yourself as an extrovert at certain times can make you much more adaptive.

For some it will be easier than for others, but it is not impossible to add a plus to our most social part, make friends and communicate assertively.

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