The 7 Definitive Signs Your Ex Is Still Thinking About You (And Afraid To Admit It)

Breakups are hard to process. It can be an incredible mix of feelings. You may feel rejected, lost, confused, hurt, and even in love with your ex.

Also, immediately after a breakup, it can be hard to know if the separation is final or if you could reconnect with your ex.

To help you with these doubts we tell you about 12 clear signs, to know if your ex still loves and misses you. Once you understand what is really going on, it will be easier for you to decide what you want to do next.

7 Signs Your Ex Is Secretly Missing You And Afraid To Admit It

1) Contacts you randomly

“Hey, check out this funny meme.”

“Hello! What was the name of that book you recommended on climbing?

“Did I leave my sweater at your house?”

If your ex talks to you for whatever apparent reason and makes excuses to talk to you, it’s a sign that he’s still thinking about you romantically.

The reality is that your ex could ask anyone else. But you’re still the go-to person, for whatever reason possible.

In addition, he writes you messages that require a response, in order to continue interacting with you, after his breakup.

But be careful, because it could also just be an old habit.

Instead, if you notice that your ex is finding more and more excuses to talk to you and wants to meet with you eventually, they may be looking to get back into a relationship.

If you have no intention of getting back together with your ex and his texts are getting annoying or ridiculous, it’s a good idea to ask him what he’s really looking for.

Otherwise, if you’re still interested in him, you can let things flow and see what’s on his mind when you meet up and spend more time in person.

2) Constantly ask for you

Once your ex is no longer in a formal relationship with you, it’s hard to find ways to stay connected.

So if he misses you, he will go out of his way to know how you are.

If he still asks your mutual friends or acquaintances how you’re doing, it’s a tell-tale sign that he might still be interested in you.

When your ex really wants to know in detail what you’re doing and how you’re doing, they’re not just being nice and polite. He really wants to continue to be a part of your life.

3) He stalks you on social media

Your ex could spend a lot of time checking your online presence.

Lately you have noticed that he is seeing all your stories on social networks. Or that he likes photos of you from years ago on Instagram.

At first glance it might seem that they no longer want to be with you, but in reality they follow your daily life on social networks to feel closer to you.

This means that he still misses you and has not completely let go of you.

4) Makes sure you find out about the new “you”

An ex who is feeling hurt and bitter might go out of their way to show you that you have been replaced.

If he shows up with a date and flaunts his new partner at a party or gathering in front of you, he’s trying to tell you something.

Making a big fuss and showing off to someone else actually reveals that your ex probably isn’t over you.

5) It makes the whole internet know that you are single

Similarly, if your old flame is posting photos and messages that scream, “I’m single and available,” there’s a good chance that the person they want to be with is you.

He may pretend he’s over you by loudly declaring his new life and singleness, but a part of him knows he’ll always be available, if you send them a text.

He is probably sad, mourning your loss and trying to make you see what you are missing.

If he misses you, he will find creative ways to convey it and show you his life, to get your attention.

6) He constantly blocks and unblocks you

When you broke up, your ex might have blocked you on their social media and removed you as a contact on their phone.

It might seem like he’s taking steps to forget about you and move on.

However, he unblocks you after a few days or weeks and you may notice his profile picture reappearing in your contact list.

This could be because he misses you and is struggling with his decision.

A permanent block is a clear sign that he is firm in his decision and does not want to rekindle anything with you.

7) He calls or texts you when he gets drunk

If your ex contacts you late at night, when he’s out at a club or bar, after he’s had one too many drinks, you can bet he’s not over you.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions and that is why he feels freer to express how he really feels about you at that moment.

If you’re the first person he calls drunk, because they need your help to get home, he’s looking for a reason to be around you again.

5 additional signs that reinforce the theory that he misses you

1) He accidentally bumps into you frequently

Matches are possible in life, but pay attention if you meet your ex regularly.

After you’ve been in a romantic relationship, your ex will know what your regular hours are and where you like to hang out.

If your ex keeps showing up at parties, outside your gym, and at your favorite coffee shop, it’s because they want you to notice their presence.

He might be miserable and miss you desperately. Finding ways to meet you shows that he wants to stay in your life.

If your ex was over you, he probably wouldn’t want to see you. He would probably avoid places you go to or were once together.

Running into our ex can make us feel anything from panic and hostility to deep feelings of gratitude and happiness.

Try to keep your interactions happy and positive, short and light, until he knows how committed you want to be with him again.

2) Try to talk and hang out with you

Right after the breakup, your ex asks if they can be friends. This could mean that he misses you, he is confused, or he is not ready to let you go.

In general, all couples need time apart to heal before they can be friends.

And it can be difficult, but also possible, to transition into this different kind of relationship with your ex.

3) Start having nostalgic conversations with you

If you’re still in touch with your ex, a definite sign that they’re still thinking about you and missing you is homesickness.

Think about how you converse with a friend. Usually, each conversation is new and is about something about the present or future. Of course, you may sometimes talk about great memories or trips together. But most of their interactions are about the current moment and not overly reflective.

So, when your ex remembers happy situations that you both shared, this could mean that he doesn’t want it to end in the present.

It is a clear sign that he thinks fondly of you and everything you lived together. You still mean a lot to him and he doesn’t want to get away from you.

4) Exhibit big gestures

This is one of the most obvious signs. If your ex is making big gestures to show affection for him, he is certainly missing you.

He could send you flowers, leave a letter at your door, and drive hours to see you.

In general, the rejected party enters a “protest” phase, in which they become obsessed with getting back the person who has left them.

The rejected lover experiences higher levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, which are related to higher levels of stress and the need to ask for help.

After the breakup of a deep relationship, some scorned people resort to dramatic gestures to get back together with the object of their desire.

If you want to know if your ex misses you, wait for a while and see how he acts after a month, when these hormone levels have changed again.

5) He repents and asks for your forgiveness

“When you hold a grudge against another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional bond that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that bond and set yourself free.”

– Catherine Ponder

If your ex has reflected on their relationship and thought about all the ways it went wrong, they may admit that they regret how things turned out.

An ex who is over a break up would not talk about the past.

What’s the point of coming back on these issues for no reason?

Your ex may find reasons to want a closure reunion, show dramatic gestures, talk about how you would handle things differently, or apologize and explain how you changed so you can reconcile.

He’s likely to miss you and find a way to try again.

My ex misses me, should you give the relationship another chance?

Whether you’re giving your romantic relationship a second chance or turning your relationship with your ex into a friendship, there are a few things you’ll need to make this work.

You both will need to continue to build a strong foundation of trust, respect, vulnerability, support, compassion, and stability.

Consider the following 5 tips to rekindle a romantic relationship

1) They gave themselves enough time away from each other

Have you given yourself enough time to feel the pain and process your experiences and emotions?

It can be easy to want to get closer to an ex, because we want them to make us feel better.

He can easily give us the validation and caring that we now miss and miss.

But you must think of a breakup as if it were a wound: it takes time to heal.

Finally, the day will come when you remove the bandage and it will be gone. The pain you once felt will be just a memory.

This can also bring up other pains and hurts from previous relationships and can teach us a lot about ourselves and how we love.

A time to reflect will give you the opportunity to gain new perspectives on what happened with your ex: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

With more knowledge, you can move forward with new ideas about how to relate to and understand each other.

2) Is there still compatibility between you two?

The question here is: do you miss being in a relationship or do you miss your ex?

One way to find out is to date other people, after the breakup.

Have you realized that your ex is really special and that you connect in a way that encourages you, motivates you, inspires you and makes your heart soar?

Do you do the same for your ex?

After the breakup, how do you feel about your ex?

Do you feel natural and comfortable around him, even though you’ve been through some pain together?

Are you able to talk openly about how you feel and listen to what he has to say as well?

If the compatibility is still there, you can easily get closer to your ex. You can both be honest and open about what you are experiencing.

You feel accepted just the way you are and you still accept your ex as he is. They are not trying to force or change the other.

Being compatible means they can…