The 7 behaviors that are driving people away from you

We can develop behaviors that distance others from us, just as we can implement others that bring them closer. In the first case, we can negatively influence our relationships with friends or family. From there, in order to take care of those we love and not attack our circle of support, It would be good for us to identify and change those behaviors that alienate others.

Sometimes these behaviors are motivated by envy. An emotion of negative valence that generally damages our relationships and impoverishes our communication. Thus, to delve deeper into this and other causes Let’s look at some of the behaviors that drive others away.

1. Being envious of the success of others

The first of the possible behaviors that alienate others is based on the emotion that we have pointed out before, together with a feeling of lack of personal successes. In this case, If we detect this dynamic, the ideal is to try to deactivate “comparison mode”.

It is true that comparisons give us valuable social information. They can tell us if we are the best or the worst in a class, putting us in a position to use this information to our advantage. However, at a time when we are especially sensitive to envy, they will hardly help us.

2. Take criticism to the personal level

Behaviors that alienate others will be more likely when we castle in a defensive attitude, attacking others to defend ourselves. Faced with this situation, let’s take a moment of calm and try to diverting the channel that the words of others direct towards the permanent self, a fate that causes us to evaluate them as an attack.

This does not mean that we should adopt a passive attitude where we are unfazed by what others think of us. The solution is to adjust our judgment, to intelligently take advantage of the information that comes to us.

3. Remain in the role of victims

Acting like the victim will also be one of the behaviors that alienate others from us. This crossroads can occur when we feel that all the problems that surround our life are always focused on us. Besides, This problem will make us feel nullified as people and, in the process, we hinder our personal development.

4. Don’t let the pain go

Whenever we feel bad or suffer in some way, it is normal for these negative emotions to fade over time until we find a solution to the problem in question. However, if we accumulate pain and resentment every time we go through a difficult time, We will end up becoming bitter and toxic people.

5. Not controlling emotions

A person always has a challenge ahead of them: improving their management of their emotions. In this sense, recognizing that attacks of anger or rage, as well as crying or tantrums alienating others will be a first and valuable step.

We will project an image of immaturity on others, increasing the likelihood that they will think that we have little self-control. Given this, we propose give way to an intelligent relationship with emotions: Let’s listen to what they have to tell us and manage their energy in the best way for us and for those who love us.

6. Lack empathy

Empathy is a very positive quality, valued both in the area of ​​personal life and in work environments. Knowing how to put ourselves in the role of other people will allow us better understand their problems, adding points to our emotional IQ.

Thus, sensitivity to the other – with their thoughts and emotions -, far from being one of behaviors that alienate others, serves to generate that complicity that acts as glue in all the deep relationships we generate and maintain.

7. Not respecting limits

In the same way that we want other people to respect those red lines, we also, as a general rule, must respect those marked by others. When weighing physical limits, Let’s take into account the culture of the person we are dealing with.since their coexistence environment can help us identify the distance with which the other feels comfortable.

For example, Japanese or Chinese cultures, as well as those of northern Europe, tend to maintain a greater distance. On the other hand, Mediterranean or Middle Eastern cultures They don’t have so many qualms when it comes to establishing physical contact or approaching other people to talk. Taking all these factors into account, we can avoid falling into behaviors that alienate others, in order to enjoy a healthier life, especially on a personal level.

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