The 4 types of regret that we can all suffer

Fact Checked

Under review

If most human beings regret anything, it is having missed certain opportunities out of fear or indecision. Find out what else we usually regret.

The most common types of regrets trace experiences that we wish we had lived differently. If being in this world means making decisions almost every moment, it also seems that we have a certain tendency to regret.

Likewise, no matter how many times society or self-help books tell us thatand “do not regret anything; If it was bad, at least you learned, and if it was good, it was worth it.”. In our minds, that emotion is always processed in a negative way, and at a certain age, there are facts that weigh and hurt unspeakably.

Mistakes, things done or not done, opportunities that we let pass due to indecision… There are multiple triggers that trace the mark of this deep and disturbing sensation. However, Science agrees on the existence of four areas that define the most common regrets in which we can all derive. We analyze them.

“It is never late for repentance and reparation”.

-Charles Dickens-

The most common types of regret in humans

Many people go through life regretting more than one action.. Therefore, if at any time we find someone who insists on that “I don’t regret anything at all”, it is better to be suspicious. Living is making mistakes, screwing up, sometimes doing harm, doing it to ourselves and making totally wrong decisions.

Anyone who prides himself on never having made a mistake is probably not aware of the effect of his actions and lacks adequate self-awareness and self-reflection. We could say, therefore, that this uncomfortable and disturbing emotion is also decisive in our extensive record of experiences.

Read Also: The 210 best good morning phrases

Regret and disappointment appear when something happens that we did not expect. However, while disappointment is the result of something beyond our control, regret is more painful because the feeling of guilt appears. In this case, events happen due to our responsibility, either due to our actions or inaction…

Let’s see what the 4 most recurring types of regrets are.

On average, it is our own expectations (and not those of others) that trace the true substrate of regret.

1. The lament of indecision

The University of Arkansas conducted a study in 2005 on the most common types of regrets. When people look at their lives as a whole and take stock, There is one dimension that always prevails: lost opportunities.

We regret our indecision at certain moments: having let certain trains pass, not having dared to cross certain bridges, having said “no” when our heart asked us for a “yes”…

In this research work we talk about the principle of opportunity, that is, those situations in which action is necessary and, instead, we choose to take a step back, through inaction. We could say that these experiences are the ones that hurt the most.

Lost loves, unstarted businesses, unexperienced adventures… Who doesn’t regret not having been something bolder?

2. The regret for not having done better

When a person feels the arrival of their end, they look back. The proximity of death forces us to look back and then, one of the 4 most common types of regrets emerges. We are sorry for not having done better with our children, for not having been a better partner, a better friend; better with ourselves too.

Read Also: Thematic Apperception Test (TAT): tell me what you see and I will tell you what you are like

Sometimes, this feeling is unjustified and responds to that self-demand that accompanies us until advanced ages. You may have been the best person in the world, but there is always that feeling that “we could have done better.”

3. Moral lamentation

We have all been hurt at some point and we have all in turn caused some type of occasional pain to someone. No one has a spotless record in the field of human relations.

Having disappointed, lied, neglected or even betrayed becomes small indentations in the heart that sting when we look back.

4. Relationship regret

Most of us feel guilty for having allowed certain relationships to break down.. There are many who miss those friends from the past with whom they lost contact. We are hurt by those emotional relationships that fractured for reasons that we could have avoided.

There are those who reach the end of their life missing children, siblings, fathers or mothers with whom the bond was broken. They are very common experiences and they weave that latent and silent suffering that is always there, despite the passage of time…

There are “open door” regrets (for which something can still be done about it), but others, sadly, are “closed door”, those that no longer have a solution and only acceptance is possible.

There are some doors open…

It is inevitable to go through this world without experiencing certain amounts of suffering. Not all of our decisions are correct and not all of our behaviors are always a reflection of perfection. We are fallible beings and we always end up regretting certain actions, paths not taken or lost relationships.

Read Also: When you stop dreaming you stop living

It is good to remember here that many of these regrets are “open door.” That is to say, Sometimes, there is always room for repair or for escape, to run and catch that train that one day we let pass.. Let’s reflect on it. Maybe it’s not too late to do what’s still on our minds.