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The 15 most common problems in relationships

All couples have their pluses and minuses. But what are the most common relationship problems? In this article we identify them… and we also provide strategies to try to solve them!

Do you have relationship problems? Do you feel that these problems have been changing or that there are some that are repeated? In this article we talk about the most common problems in relationships and how we can deal with them.

As we will see, these are quite common problems that can start out as “little things” and end up becoming, over time, a big snowball capable of crushing us.

The 15 most common problems in relationships

We talk about the most common problems in relationships and, in some of them, we mention some ideas to learn how to manage them.

1. Not spending (quality) time together

One of the most common problems in relationships is not spending time together (especially quality time). Frequently, this is explained or “justified” by lack of time, due to multiple day-to-day responsibilitiesdue to fatigue and stress, incompatibility of schedules…

However, it can jeopardize the relationship, because sharing time allows you to get to know each other more and better, cultivate love and strengthen the bond with your partner.

2. Jealousy

Jealousy is another common problem. This can arise in one of the members or in both. Its causes lie in mistrust, personal insecurities and low self-esteem.

This is why communication with others is so important, and above all, working on those insecurities yourself (for example, through therapy).

“Healthy relationships must grow with unlimited trust.”

-Anonymous-

3. Lack of a common life project

Lasting relationships are those in which there is a common life project; It is not necessary for this project to encompass “everything.”“, but it does include a shared facet in the couple, something that excites them and motivates them to continue together.

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4. Bad or no communication

Communication as a couple is one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy relationship. If it does not exist or is bad (for example, when there is a lack of assertiveness, things are said badly, with reproaches, etc.), the quality of the relationship worsens greatly and multiple misunderstandings can also be generated.

“Honest communication is built on truth and integrity and respect for each other.”

-Benjamin E. Mays-

5. Incompatibility in sexuality

Sex – and, more broadly, intimacy – is also an important pillar in relationships.. Therefore, if this does not work or is not satisfactory, it can easily become another of the most common problems in relationships.

And returning to communication, this is also essential in sex, because many conflicts in the sexual field arise from not talking things over, from not saying what we like and what we don’t, etc.

6. Problems with family

Although it is not an essential requirement to have a good relationship with our partner’s family, the truth is that Not getting along with her can also cause conflict in the relationship.

7. Distribution of responsibilities

Especially if you already live together, the distribution of responsibilities can also be another source of conflict. The fact that one does more than the other, that the other does nothing at all… It can be exhausting for the couple and generate a lot of tension.

8. Coexistence

Relating it to the previous point, we go directly to coexistence, another possible source of conflict. When living together, the couple must learn to respect each other’s space even when living togetherto assume responsibilities in joint projects, to share expenses, to accept their defects…

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In short, an endless number of aspects that before coexistence were not appreciated as much or that, directly, should not be faced.

9. Infidelities

Infidelity is another of the most common problems in relationships. This generates a lot of suffering in the deceived partner.and it can be a real gap in the relationship, because distrust towards the other appears and the ambivalence of not knowing whether or not to continue with the relationship.

10. Economic problems

Money problems can generate a lot of tension in a couple; tension that, in turn, can generate misunderstandings, irritability, discomfort… And all of this creates an unfavorable family or couple climate.

11. Diverse or incompatible values

The personal values ​​of each one (on a moral, ethical level…) They can also generate conflicts, especially if they are very different or directly incompatible. That is why it is so important to learn to listen, negotiate, open your mind… To be able to get closer to the other.

It is not necessary that the couples have identical values, but it is necessary that they not be incompatible.

12. Traumatic experiences

The fact that we have experienced traumas that have marked us (for example, causing us to have lower self-esteem) can also cause problems within a relationship (especially if they are not addressed).

13. The past

We all have a past that explains who we are in the present. However, if for whatever reasons, Your partner does not accept your past, or is jealous of it (for example, from ex-partners), this can cause problems for the couple.

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14. Feeling of loneliness

The feeling of loneliness when in a relationship is more common than we think and, in fact, it constitutes another of the most common problems in relationships.

Note that One thing is to have independence within the relationship and the other is to feel alone. If this is your case, try to identify what is behind that loneliness.

15. Education of children

Finally, another of the common problems in couples is the inability to agree on the education of children. If there are no common agreements, trust, active listening (that allows us to understand the other), etc., it is very difficult to manage this point.

Relationship problems are the reality of many; and it is that When we relate to others, when there is a bond, different needs arise.deficiencies in oneself, aspects to work on… That would not manifest themselves being single.

On the other hand, it is normal, for example, to argue from time to time with our partner, since not doing so would probably mean that one of us is keeping certain things quiet.

However, We must differentiate the fact of arguing occasionally with the partner from the fact of having a toxic relationship. For this, individual therapy, and also couples therapy, can be beneficial.

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