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Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are

Do you admire the people you spend the most time with? Keep in mind that the attitude of your environment influences your way of being. Let’s see how.

Think about the five people with whom you relate the most, with whom you spend the most time. How they live? How do they think? Are they brave when making decisions? Are they going after their dreams? Are they connected to your emotions? Are your ties healthy? Are they able to allow themselves to make mistakes and learn from them?

Now, I invite you to ask yourself if you admire them.

Depending on your answer, this information will be good or bad news for you. According to speaker Jim Rohn, each person is the average of the five closest people in their life. That is, they influence us to the point of ending up looking like them, both in the way they behave and act in life as well as in their values ​​and thoughts.

The influence of the people around us

People tend to look like those around them. At first glance, the idea may sound somewhat crazy. Maybe you are thinking “I don’t look like my brother in the least.” either “My partner and I are very different” and I’m not saying that you are an exact copy of them. Of course not.

However, it is likely that if you delve deeper into their personality traits, healthy or unhealthy habits, ways of expressing themselves or even dressing, you will end up finding a good range of similarities that perhaps you had not noticed until now.

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The phrase of the American thinker and author Jim Rohn states that Human beings tend to resemble the people around us.. He says that if you write a list of your tastes, interests, hobbies, habits, knowledge or skills, you will notice that you are a reflection of the people with whom you spend the most time. At the same time, You also have an impact on the life around you. There is something of yours in each of the people around you, whether it is your temperament, your musical preferences or your way of dealing with problems.

Psychologist David McClelland, known for his need theory of motivation, has discovered from extensive research that 95% of our successes and failures are related to the people closest to us. For example, you are more likely to be physically active if your family members exercise frequently or to drink alcohol if your circle of friends does. Sounds logical, right?

Membership groups

The phenomenon is repeated: people blend in when starting a relationship or groups of young people tend to dress in a very similar style of clothing. The fact is that membership groups are fundamental for the formation of personal identity. We all need to feel that we belong to a community or group. In this way, we feel comfortable and accepted.

Thus, people tend to identify and feel cared for by the groups (formal or informal) to which they belong based on a feeling of solidarity for those who are similar. At the same time, we often consider that We must be and stop being in this or that way to belong to a group. Then, we adopt aspects or qualities of the members of that group with the ultimate goal of integrating.

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What others do, think, reject or celebrate consciously or unconsciously influences our lives. At this point in the article, the saying “Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are” it’s making sense. This saying suggests that you can know a person by the company he keeps. The level of well-being in general terms is positively or negatively affected by our friends, family, and study or work colleagues..

People are like sponges. We absorb the energy that surrounds us. If our environment is in a good mood most of the time, enjoying and focusing on the pleasant things in life, it will be easier for us to feel happy. The same thing would happen in reverse: surrounded by moody and miserable people, it will be difficult for us to maintain a smile.

Who do you connect with?

Regardless of whether the contact is physical or virtual, the people who have the most influence on us will be those with whom we share the most significant time. Considering this matter, It would be advisable that we be more careful when choosing the people with whom we want to connect. It is not about completely distancing ourselves from everyone we do not idolize or becoming a hermit, but about being aware of the relationships we build and sustain over time. Remember that you feed on them.

Ask yourself if they support you or limit you, if you feel free being in their company or if you tend to repress your emotions and thoughts. If they feel proud or ashamed of you.

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Analyze your inner circle and evaluate whether having them around makes it easier for you to achieve your goals. You can intentionally choose to surround yourself with people who inspire you to be a better person. Who do you want to keep and who do you no longer want? What connections do you want to nurture and cultivate? What type of people would you like to establish ties with from now on?

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Córdoba, M. (2017). Personal identity.McClelland, DC (1984). Motives, personality and society: selected articles. New York: Praeger.Sarmiento Mosquera, JE (2021). Social Development in Adulthood. Development of the School Child, Adolescent and Adult.

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