Suspicions of infidelity: a serious impact on psychological balance

This is a topic that is not talked about much. There are many who have ever searched the Internet for “clues that your partner may be cheating on you.” However, the high mental strain caused by mere suspicions of infidelity is not always addressed. Regardless of whether or not this concern is unfounded, this impact is more serious than we think.

There are those who, far from discussing the issue with their partner and addressing that concern, opt for silence and mental gnawing. They limit themselves only to paying attention to small aspects until they reach obsession and even paranoia. This anguish that arises from constant thinking about betrayal is the basis in many cases of both anxiety disorders and depression.

Also, there is another detail. Most of us may have experienced this sensation; It is normal and understandable to have a certain fear of losing that bond with the person you love. However, the problem is that – on average – we manage these suspicions of betrayal very poorly. There is no point, for example, in sharing our concerns with friends and not talking about it directly with our partner.

Nor is it healthy to keep the burning of that restlessness to ourselves. Suspicion and suspicion should invite us to action, not the passivity of those who simply become even more trapped in the labyrinth of worry.

Psychological effects of suspected infidelity

We are not exaggerating if we say that the suspicion of infidelity is one of the highest sources of stress. It’s much more than living with the fly behind your ear. It is experiencing constant uncertainty, looping worry and persistent anxiety.

One keeps thinking that perhaps our relationship is going to break up sooner or later or that, simply, we are being victims of a lie.

Suddenly the brain processes a threat and we instantly enter a very high and exhausting state of alert and hypervigilance. So much so that very recent studies such as those carried out at the University of Nevada and the University of Ohio, for example, tell us something important. Suspected infidelity has a serious psychological impact so that mental health can be greatly affected.

We analyze it.

Transactional stress theory: when we feel unable to control a situation

Richard S. Lazarus was a prominent psychologist and researcher who spent much of his life trying to understand stress processes. We owe him, for example, the transactional theory of stress, which tells us about how a person interacts with a context and evaluates the impact of what happens to them.

Thus, sometimes, the stress we experience exceeds our resources to cope with it and this aggravates our own suffering. Furthermore, another fact arises and it is the awareness that we have no control over what is happening. In this way, suspicions of infidelity trace a type of reality over which one feels they have no control.

If our partner is truly cheating on us, we can’t do anything to avoid it and that feeling increases the anguish even more.

The effect of suspicions of infidelity are different on men and women

The study from the universities of Nevada and Ohio mentioned above, and directed by Daniel Weigel, indicates that there are gender differences when it comes to experiencing the impact of suspicions of infidelity. Although it is true that we all experience great suffering, there are small peculiarities that differentiate us:

Women tend to somatize much more. They experience headaches, muscle pain, exhaustion, digestive problems, lack of appetite or greater need to eat, etc. Both men and women experience insomnia. Men can also somatize, but they demonstrate more risky behaviors, such as drinking alcohol, resorting to drugs, showing poorly regulated behaviors such as showing greater behavioral or verbal aggressiveness, etc.

On the other hand, it is also common in both genders that it leads to anxiety disorders and even depression.

What to do when I suspect that my partner is unfaithful?

We have already talked about the mental health effects of suspicions of infidelity. However, what to do if we find ourselves in these same circumstances? It is important to reflect on the following aspects.

Learn to handle suspicions of infidelity

First of all, let’s be aware of something very simple: it is not good to feed worry without meaning or direction.

Opting for silence, constant suspicion and obsessive surveillance towards our partner only fuels discomfort. If something worries us, it is said out loud, if we have a concern, it is shared.

Let’s also avoid talking about our suspicions with friends or family. Spreading fears sometimes aggravates the problem even more. Let’s start by talking to our partner. Let’s also try to stop the daily diving for the smallest details in search of possible revelations. The best thing in all cases is to address that feeling of anguish directly. It is crucial that we foster a climate of trust and complicity from the beginning. Sincerity must be that nutrient that underpins every situation. If we do not perceive it, if we sense more distance than closeness, we will make a decision. On the other hand, if the suspicions of infidelity are unfounded and there is no evidence of betrayal, it is time to carry out a much-needed introspection. Where do my fears come from? Why do I feel insecure in my relationship?

Sometimes, factors such as low self-esteem subject the emotional bond to this obsessive suspicion. The fear of abandonment is the constant shadow of those who do not love themselves or believe themselves worthy of being loved. Let’s think about it.

To conclude, few things can be more agonizing than coexisting with the shadows of suspicion of someone who believes that at the slightest chance they are going to be betrayed. Fears limit us. Let’s face these situations directly and always build relationships in which sincerity and trust flow at all times, that is the key.

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