Stop hurting others with your words

Words have such a strong power that they not only hurt a person when they are said, but they can remain forever engraved in the heart and soul, creating insecurities and breaking relationships. Are you a person who communicates negatively? Stop the damage and save your relationships.

Human beings are social beings, which implies that we maintain communication with different people throughout the day. This communication can occur in different situations, perspectives or moods and it is not always easy to maintain healthy communication with those around us.

It may happen that we are not good at expressing our ideas and feelings, that we do not know how to communicate as a couple or that we simply do not pay attention when interacting with others. All of this can cause us to become undesirable people to those around us. There are four very clear types of poor communication:

1. Criticism of others

It’s okay to raise your voice when something is happening that we don’t like or that affects us in some way. The problem appears when it seems that we only spend our time recriminating and accusing those around us. These criticisms always try to demonstrate the inferiority of the other and can begin with:

– “It’s just that you…”
– “Are you…”
– “You should…”
– “It would be better than you…”
– “Your family, your friends…”

2. Universal declarations

Any type of phrase that generalizes or generates stereotypes about people or behaviorsFor example:

– “You always…”
– “You will never…”
– “You’re so…”
– “You are all the time…”
– “Again…”

3. Negative attention on the person without taking into account the problem

In every situation that arises there are two aspects to take into account: the people involved and the problem that arises. When you pay negative attention to the person and show no interest in the real problem, you are experiencing poor communication.

Example of poor communication: You never do anything! You’re lazy!
Example of good communication: I know you are very busy, but you could at least help me by cleaning and tidying your room.

4. Demerit feelings

People are sensitive by nature, even those who do not usually show their feelings. For this, Demeaning or invalidating feelings can be the weapon that completely ends a relationship. We demean feelings when we do not recognize emotions, we minimize them, ignore them or judge them negatively. For example:

– “I’m not interested in what you think.”
– “I don’t care what you feel.”
– “Don’t be so dramatic.”
– “Don’t be so happy, you really didn’t do anything surprising.”

Intelligence applied to communication

Although we are all self-sufficient beings with great abilities and qualities, we always need to listen and be heard by others. We must always think that the way we act today will define our future and if we hurt the people who are with us today, in the end they will get tired, avoid us and finally move away completely. It’s not about lying or conforming, but it is about being intelligent in our communication.