Sometimes I’m not there for everyone… because I need myself too

Sometimes I am not there for anyone because I also need myself, I also need to listen to myself, mend my broken spaces, file my sharp corners. Therefore, if I don’t answer messages or if I put my phone on silent for a few hours or a few days, it doesn’t mean that I have closed doors to the world, I have just gone for a walk with myself, with that someone I had long neglected.

It is curious how, almost without realizing it, We end up leaving ourselves in the spam folder.. We relegate ourselves to the unfinished business drawer, to the last page of our agenda or to that post it phosphorescent yellow that ends up getting lost in the natural hustle and bustle of our desk because there is always a priority that advances and postpones it.

We live in a tremendously demanding and competitive society, we know it. There are many things to do, and the days can sometimes be as hectic as they are exhausting. As if that were not enough, Added to this are new communication systems, where treatment and interactions are constant and immediate.

We live organized in various WhatsApp groups, we are always reachable and on our mobile screens there is always a message to answer, email to attend to, photos to add. a like and a label to respond to even if we don’t feel like it.

It is like living in an epicenter where our farsighted gaze is unable to see what is closest. Our tired eyes can read the needs of others but are no longer capable of deciphering our own… Everything seems blurry, everything has become a ball that is nestled there, in our heart and our mind as if something were wrong, as if something was not right and We don’t know what it is…

You’ve reached the limit and you still don’t know it

Many people miss you, you know. Every day you have ten mountains to climb and dozens of obstacles to overcome, and you succeed, there is no doubt. However, no one gives you medals for it, almost no one recognizes your efforts, your dedication or even everything you give up for those around you. Little by little, things lose their meaning and people lose their flavor. The world no longer has music, it no longer rhymes, it is no longer agile, and you end up sinking into your own responsibilities like a stone falling into a bottomless pit.

Being there for everyone and everything every day and every moment has a secretly high interest rate.. The signs of this process of stress continued over time can easily lead to depression, therefore, we must be very attentive to the symptoms:

fatigue, a extreme tiredness that sometimes is not recovered with sleep or a night’s rest.Headaches, migraines. Back pain. Poor digestion. Constant feeling of boredom, life loses almost all of our interest. Impatience and irritability.Frustration, comments full of cynicism, bad mood, constant apathy…

As curious as it may seem, living in a hyper-stimulated and hyper-demanding environment ends up drugging us. We become insensitive to our own needs, strangers to our own heart and wanderers lost on that island of Circe where one has completely forgotten where one’s home is, where that house where one’s own being lives.

Today I am not for anyone, today I am needed

Saying out loud “these days I am not there for anyone, I need myself” is not a lack of respect. No one is harmed, nothing is neglected, the world will continue to spin and the rivers to flow. However, something wonderful will happen: we will give way to emotional healing, we will give ourselves time, attention and our own space to take refuge.

It will be like entering the hollow of a tree to make contact with our roots, there where we can find ourselves almost in the fetal position, to nourish ourselves and allow our leaves, our branches, to grow tall and freer to touch the sky.

Below, we suggest you reflect on some ideas that can help you achieve this.

Keys to take control, to take care of you when you need you

In the midst of this vast routine in which we end up captive of our own and other people’s obligations, there must be a space, a small comfortable and special space that belongs to us alone.. It is like a rescue capsule, like a lifeboat to go to every time we perceive that we have reached the limit.

When you notice that external pressures are preventing you from being yourself, stop and visualize that capsule or that lifeboat: get on it. It’s time to draw up a rescue plan. Benjamin Franklin used to say that “If we do not have a survival plan on a day-to-day basis, we are condemned to drift eternally.”This survival plan must have a goal and establish what is a priority and what is secondary. (Today my goal is to complete my work day, my goal is not to stress and my plan includes having two hours for myself. Looking good with my co-workers or family is secondary today).

Finally, we must be very clear that there will be days when the total and absolute priority is ourselves. Making it clear to those who make up our closest context is not an act of selfishness.

Turning off the phone, going for a walk, breathing and sheltering ourselves with our own thoughts is an act of authentic mental health. Because believe it or not, those days when we miss each other are many, and attending to them, Putting our name on the “priorities” list, far from being recommended, is MANDATORY.

You might be interested…