Should I get back together with my ex after a rebound relationship?

If you’ve been through a recent breakup, you’re probably going through a tough time. Add to that the fact that your ex has decided to start dating someone else almost immediately it can be devastating.

But you must remember that what affects us are not the situations themselves, but how we perceive and assimilate them.

Keep in mind that by definition most of the time a rebound relationship happens because of the wounds that the person still feels.

Which means that regardless of how right or wrong his attitude may seem to you, he cares about you.

Also, if he had the experience of meeting someone else and now wants to come back, it means that there is new aspects that you have considered.

Or perhaps the fact of seeing him leave and thinking that he would never be by your side again has made you realize that you really want him with you and want to get him back.

So now you ask yourself: Is it a good idea to get back together with my ex after a rebound relationship?

There are those who believe that it is in vain and that we should not even consider returning to someone who has left in search of another person.

But on the other hand, there are also those who say that love does not disappear from one day to the next, and that if there is something to fight for, you should do it.

That is why we are going to analyze in depth all the aspects that you should evaluate before making such an important decision.

As we always state in our articles, each person and each couple is unique. That is why it is so important that you take the time to do a thorough evaluation of your particular case, and how you feel about each situation.

So you can decide what is best for you and even for your ex.

8 questions and actions you should take if you are thinking of getting back together with your ex after a rebound relationship

1) Evaluate the relationship and why it ended

Of course, the first thing you should do if you find yourself at this crossroads is to evaluate the relationship you had with your ex.

Sometimes the distance makes us forget about the arguments and differences and see only the good that we had in the relationship. Also let’s not forget the fact that he was with someone else, which will have a big impact on the way you see things. It’s hard to stay objective when there are so many emotions involved and a bruised ego.

So, it’s important that you honestly consider the things that were good for you, as well as those that weren’t so good.

For what reason or reasons did you decide to separate?

Think about whether there is really a chance that things will work again.

Will those reasons still exist if they try again? Is there a way for things to change?

Take advantage of the distance to evaluate things from a new perspective.

2) Consider the reasons for your relationship rebound

While it’s hard for you to know exactly why he started dating someone else so soon, there are certain questions that will help you understand him.

He was deeply in love with you and you hurt him? Did he start dating someone unknown or was it someone who was in his life before? He made sure you found out that he was with someone else? He posted it on his networks and everywhere? Did he break up as soon as you started dating? Did he have very little in common with that person? The new girl, he has a lot in common with you? Is it like he’s your double? Is your ex a person who has difficulty being alone?

Asking yourself all of these questions might give you insight into the real reasons he started dating someone and whether there might still be feelings on his part for you.

3) How do you feel about everything that has happened?

This point is vital to be able to make the right decision.

You have to do a lot of introspection and evaluate your emotions to understand if you really want to get back with him or if it is simply a reaction to feeling that you were losing him.

The above points will help you get into your feelings.

The most important thing is that you ask yourself from where you act, is it out of true love, out of spite, out of anger, selfishness, to feel good?

What do you really want and need? What is the best for both?

4) Has enough time passed?

If you have decided to separate in the first place, there were reasons. And it is important that they have had enough time to understand and process those reasons.

You cannot expect that from one day to the next things will change abruptly and everything will be fine. There is a process that they must go through and for that they need time and individual work.

If you both had time to reflect and work on yourself after the breakup, you may be better prepared for a healthy relationship.

Be sure to take as much time as you feel is necessary before making a decision.

5) How is your life now?

Consider your current life and whether you are in a position to get back together with your ex.

Perhaps you are immersed in a project that requires all your time, or you are about to take a trip for a while. If there are aspects of your life that could affect reconciliation, it is important that you take them into account to choose the most appropriate moment to return.

6) Listen to your loved ones

While sometimes the opinions of others shouldn’t matter to us, it’s a good idea to listen to them.

The people closest to you and who love you will want the best for you.

And while many don’t know the details and what their relationship was like on the inside, you could hear things that surprise you and open your eyes to situations that you weren’t seeing within the relationship.

Just open the space to find out what your closest ones think about your relationship and if it was good for you or not.

It is important to take into account the opinion of those you care about and who may be able to see the situation from a more objective perspective.

7) Are you willing to let go and forget about your rebound relationship?

It is not easy to see your ex with another. So, you have to seriously think about whether you will be able to put it in the past.

If you want to get back together with your ex, it’s important to be willing to put any grudges behind you and work on building a new, healthy relationship.

If you are going to mention to him every week the fact that he left with someone else, I’m telling you right now, it’s not going to work. And if you can’t stop feeling like it could happen again, either.

8) Connect with your inner wisdom

Perhaps the spiritual is not your style. But you should know that there is great power in listening to our own inner voice. Therein lies true wisdom.

In his 21 Days of Abundance Meditation, Deepak Chopra shares in his meditation on the 10th what I consider to be a great core thought: “Today I make big decisions with full awareness.”

That is why my final advice is that you do what is necessary to connect with your inner being and look there for the correct answer for you.

Once you decide what to do, you must understand that there is no right and wrong decision. Just situations and experiences. Take this experience as one more lesson in life that will help you evolve.

3 steps if you have decided that you want to get back together with your ex after a rebound relationship

1) Talk to him

You already have a lot of information with all that you have reflected.

So what you have to do now is sit down and talk with him to understand how you both feel.

Be honest about your feelings and why you want to get back with him or take him back.

Tell him what your expectations are and what you consider necessary for the relationship to work this time.

He will have to do the same, and if he has moved on, it is time to grieve and accept it.

2) Take things easy

If you do decide to try again, it’s important that you take the time to adjust to being together again. Being back together 24/7 might not be ideal.

They have to make sure that the issues that led to the breakup can actually be resolved this time.

And they need time alone to assess how they feel in each moment.

Don’t try to rush things or try to get back into a serious relationship right away.

Give each other time to get to know each other again and make sure you really feel comfortable and happy before committing fully.

3) Communicate your feelings

It is important that they focus and commit to frequent communication. Talk about how you feel and whether you think things are moving in the right direction.

Work together to keep the relationship healthy and happy.

Continue to build trust and take steps to ensure that the relationship continues to grow.

How to move on if you can’t get your ex back after a rebound relationship

It’s a possibility too, that they can’t get back together.

Maybe he moved on, doesn’t think he can go back, or just both understood that they weren’t meant to be together.

Moving on is a process and it takes time. We share some tips so you can move forward.

1) Accept it:

It is useless to resist what is. If there is nothing more to do, accept that the relationship is over. Be thankful for what was, for the lessons, give yourself time to grieve and move on with your life.

2) Take distance:

While they may have broken up on good terms, it’s a good idea to walk away and cut contact with your ex for a while. So, delete him from WhatsApp, don’t send him messages, or try to find out what he’s spending his time on. Keeping in touch will only make the process longer and more painful.

3) Eliminate reminders:

You probably have objects that remind you of him. It’s a good idea to at least keep them out of sight. If they don’t have much emotional value, consider getting rid of them to make a real cut.

4) Find your “healing” activity:

If you don’t already have it, find an activity that you enjoy, does you good, and helps you stay present. It could be an art workshop, dance class, a new sport, or going to the gym. Find what is for you and makes you feel like you reconnect with yourself and your passions. It will help you stop thinking about your ex and focus on other things.

5) Surround yourself with loved ones:

It is not easy to get over a breakup, you will need a lot of support and containment. So don’t hesitate to contact your friends and family if you need to unload, cry or simply express how you feel right now.

6) Keep a journal:

Don’t underestimate the power of catharsis. Writing down what you are feeling is a great way to let your emotions out and feel relief. A diary does not have to make sense or logic, you can write whatever you want at any time.

If you want more tools to know how to move on after a breakup, I recommend that you read our article: 14 tips on how to forget your ex.