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Seven values ​​that are only learned in the family

The family is the most important institution in our lives. It is the family that educates and transmits the values ​​that will guide us for the rest of our lives.

It can be said that the family has always been an institution in crisis. What varies, from time to time, is the type of crisis faced and the values represents. In the past it was related to the relegation of women and authoritarian parenting models. In the present, it has to do with excessively permissive discipline models and the fracture of marital ties.

Whatever it may be, the family is the decisive nucleus in the formation of every human being. It is within it that some core valueswhich are decisive for the construction of identity and the basic link that we establish with the world.

“Only two lasting legacies can we leave our children: one, roots; another, wings.”

-Hodding Carter-

Usually, it is in the family where we learn to recognize who we are and where we are going. It also gives us an attitude towards reality. It doesn’t matter that that family is single-parent or that it is not even really our family. Those around us in our early years leave an indelible mark. A brand that includes the family values ​​that we describe below.

What are family values?

First of all, it is important to keep in mind that family values ​​are the set of beliefs, principles and qualities that are transmitted from generation to generation within the family nucleus, and that define us as individuals.

Since the family is our first reference point, it represents the basis of all moral teachings. Hence, the importance of transmitting values ​​that strengthen the individual and society, such as: honesty, kindness, respect, love, forgiveness, among others.

If, on the other hand, negative values ​​such as egocentrism, a sense of superiority, banality, resentment, etc. are taught in families, harmful and incorrect ways of acting for society will be encouraged.

Having said that, let’s see then what are the main values ​​that should be transmitted within the family.

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7 values ​​that are learned in the family

The family is the first school, where the most valuable teachings are transmitted, among which the following stand out:

1. Love for life

In every human being there is a tendency that inclines him towards life and another towards death.. Life and death are not only biological states. Life is associated with movement, change and growth. Death, for its part, refers to the complete opposite: states of passivity, fixations, stagnation of evolution and repetition.

It is in early childhood and with the family when one of these two forces takes root with greater vigor in our mind.. If life is valued in the family, it is possible that this attitude will be strengthened in those who grow up in it. It is something that goes beyond words. It has to do with a deep disposition towards everything that means to live.

This does not mean that someone who was born in less favorable conditions cannot develop a love for life. Nor does it mean that those who predominate in the love of living do not have moments or situations that incline them towards what death represents. But definitely Having a family with a positive tendency towards life is a great advantage.

2. Respect for authority

When we talk about authority, we are not referring to any source of commands and orders. Rather, we refer to those people or instances from which power emanates. Not just any power, a legitimate and rational one, which must be respected.

At the same time, that respect does not mean blind obediencebut recognition of the highest hierarchical status that a person or an institution has, based on certain values ​​(age, experience, knowledge, etc.).

Respect for authority is another value that is learned in the family. It is born, precisely, from the model of authority that parents are capable of generating. If they manage to instill intelligent discipline and transmit convictions regarding certain values, they probably managed to establish the idea of ​​respect in the children’s consciousness. Something that is not at odds with expressing disagreement or criticism towards someone’s thinking.

3. Self-control of emotions

Parents are full-time educators, even when they are not present. If they are there because the children are watching them carefully. And if they are not, why do they choose the people who take care of the little ones in their absence.

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On the other hand, more than words or commands, the example of parents is decisive. Children basically absorb the behaviors they see around them and imitate them. With actions you indicate what is right or wrong. Also, how we should behave in various situations.

Children will have many moments of lack of control, it is normal. They are people who are beginning to discover their emotions. Therefore, they do not have much control over them. If, faced with this small internal chaos, they find adults who maintain serenity and help them channel uncontrolled reactions, little by little they will assimilate that attitude and incorporate it into their way of being.

One of the functions of adults is precisely to set reasonable limits on the intensity and expression of emotions.. This is where the communicative capacity and emotional intelligence of the people who are in the children’s immediate environment come into play.

4. Gender identity

Gender identity is an individual value since it is part of personal self-definition. It does not matter whether someone constructs themselves as male or female, regardless of their biological sex. What counts here is precisely that possibility of constructing oneself as one gender or another, without pressure for the person to conform to a stereotype.

A healthy family is flexible in assigning roles for each gender. This factor grants greater freedom for each person to identify their tastes, preferences and their place in the world, freeing themselves from social schematisms. Without a doubt, gender identity has a decisive impact on the choice of partner and the way of experiencing sexuality from the earliest ages.

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5. Brotherhood

Fraternity, beyond being a value, is a way of relating to the world. It supposes an important degree of conformity with oneself, since without self-love it is impossible to value what others do. But, at the same time, fraternity is precisely one of the values that allows us to transcend the individual level and connect with the world in a constructive way.

6. Forgiveness

Forgiveness refers to the remission of an offense or fault. This is one of the most important values ​​because It means leaving behind resentment and desires for revenge.aspects that condemn us to suffering.

But this value is not reduced to knowing how to forgive; but It also refers to the ability to ask for forgiveness when we have made a mistake.which involves recognizing guilt and the damage committed to another person.

Besides, asking for forgiveness is associated with other values ​​such as humilityas it allows us to recognize that we are not perfect and that we intend to rectify or compensate for the failure.

7. Commitment

It is another of the values ​​that must be taught from childhood, since implies responsibility. People who make commitments give their word that they will fulfill what they promised and their duties. An important aspect to be recognized as someone trustworthy.

Furthermore, it is a value that It helps us build solid relationships and develop professionally.

To conclude, according to Rodrigo, MJ, & González, JP (2014), the family is the first social nucleus. Therefore, the bases of human relationships are learned there. It is in the family where human beings usually learn the responsibilities and considerations they must have for others.

It is not something that is imposed, but is experienced in the daily life of the family group. Thus, if the bond is supportive and based on justice, the child will probably assimilate these values ​​in the way she acts.

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