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RUN WITH ME NOW?

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How about if we run away this afternoon? I’m ready in 40 minutes and I go without lipstick. I’m in need of your kiss, that kiss with the whole body, with the mouth, soul and dreams, that instantly steals my feet from the ground. I need to see the colors of your eyes up close, with a view from above and then from below.

To savor every smile of yours, every muffled and criminal laugh of someone who is killing time in some quiet corner of the city.

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What if we turn off our cell phones for a couple of hours? Then we snuggle in the back seat of the car, and share bizarre stories of the past, of nights and loves that failed, of distance and even of homesickness.

A day off, away from horns, offices, the Internet or frustrated relationships. Just the two of us and a voice and guitar playlist. No urges, no lies. As always was. I’m lacking sincerity and reciprocity and that, my dear, until today I’ve only found hidden with you, mixing adventure and drunkenness.

I’m in need of being myself, that version you already know so well and are able to decipher from miles, numb to inches and shape a little more with each goodbye. So how about we abandon today’s commitments and escape to our secret corner by the sea?

Maybe you’ll take a change or two with you, and we’ll stretch the walk to an interstate border, just to have a beer with a different label and sit around watching the sun melt in the rearview mirror. So, before we get back to real life, and pay for neglecting to escape the boredom schedule, whisper in my ear that you’ve corresponded from the beginning, and that in our silent agreement there was never one-sided longing.

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When it comes to us I don’t want what the world can see and envy, I just want our escape to be daily, without losing grace or heart racing. Without becoming routine.

Who knows, maybe we’ll meet today, in that traditional mausoleum, to renegotiate our partnership agreement? And then we run away from that fear of getting attached and suffering again, to make it difficult for the longing to work, which lately hasn’t taken time off reminding me of the fullness it is to be with you.

Deborah Anttuart

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