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Relationship facts men should understand in their 30s

Sociologist Nicholas H. Wolfinger of the University of Utah conducted research and found that people who marry after age 30 divorce less often. The thing is, some things we start to understand only after that age. How does the behavior of men in relationships change?

O awesome.club wants to help you understand what men discover about relationships after age 30.

1. A relationship actually requires effort

The 20-year-olds believe that if they hold the girl’s heart in their hands, she will not disappear. In reality, it’s easier to destroy relationships than it looks, so constant effort is required. After age 30, men realize that it’s important to spend time with the woman they love, work out domestic problems together, and come to terms with it.

2. It’s not worth meeting someone anywhere

At 20, it seems that a bar or a nightclub is the perfect place to meet someone because you can watch the girls and, anyway, have a drink and build up some courage. But modern sexologists argue that relationships created under the influence of alcohol are rarely successful. It’s better to look for the woman in your life in a place where you can get to know her better: places where people meet for interests or even for work.

3. The past must stay in the past

At 20, it seems like there should only be one love for a lifetime, but at 30 comes the understanding that anyone has the right to have their story. So if in youth any contact with exes or simply photos together can really upset your boyfriend, then a mature man knows that this is in the past, what is more important is what happens now.

4. There are no perfect people

There are neither perfect halves of the orange nor those people worth waiting for a lifetime. And that’s wonderful! Yes, no one is meant for anyone and you don’t have to wait until a voice from heaven or other sign of fate indicates the only possible variant of your own “they lived happily ever after”. 30-year-old men believe in their destiny, so at this age, we must remember that perfect people don’t exist and that we must build relationships with imperfect people who we really care about.

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5. It is normal to share problems

At 20, it seems that men have an obligation to solve their problems on their own, and asking for advice or help is a sign of weakness. A mature man understands how important trust and respect are in relationships, so if he has problems, he can share them with his partner. After the age of 30, comes the understanding that it is impossible for love to exist without friendship and marriage is for us to be together in good and bad times.

6. Nobody needs to adapt to the expectations of others

“I thought she wouldn’t be like that, that for me she would change her plans to go to Kathmandu.” That’s exactly how many kids who were disappointed in their youth think. Mature men understand perfectly well that a girl can totally ignore what he thought about her, her behavior doesn’t have to adjust to what he wanted to see, and it’s impossible to force a person to change to satisfy his own perception. People are different, and that’s wonderful.

7. Avoiding the problem is not solving it

Guys are afraid of fights or conflicts, and instead of solving the problem, they prefer not to talk about it or disappear for a while, waiting for the girl to calm down and for everything to work itself out. But that doesn’t work completely, or it can have the opposite consequences. A mature man understands that acknowledging the problem is a good start, and while it can’t be solved right away, over time the couple will be able to work it out together.

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8. You can (and should) do household chores

In youth, a boy might retain stereotypes about household chores, but in maturity it is better to get rid of them. In most cases, it is very common for both partners to work. Therefore, in rejecting help with household chores and looking for excuses because of his work, the man shows selfishness. Mature men do not hesitate to participate in household chores and understand how to tie these activities together.

9. If you promise something, keep it

As the saying goes, “Whoever promises, makes a debt”. “Or a doubt,” add the immature boys. A grown man knows the value of his word, so if he promises something, he tries to keep that promise, which will only be broken for valid reasons. After all, exactly from these actions depends on whether the woman will trust him in the future.

10. “All men are polygamists” is a myth. Cheating does not demonstrate masculinity

The success of men in film and advertising is often related to a large number of women around them. Young minds are inclined to believe in these concepts of life, adding the “polygamist” theory, saying that being a man is part of his nature. Over time, the person rejects empty stereotypes and begins to value complete relationships with just one partner.

11. It takes courage to own up to your own mistakes

12. Love is expressed in care

True feeling manifests itself in everyday life, in little things. At a young age, it seems that promises of being together for a lifetime or serenading under the moonlight are enough, that it is precisely these things that demonstrate their love. Grown men know how to express their feelings with actions: picking up their wife at night after work or hugging her so she doesn’t get cold.

13. You may not have the same interests as your wife, but you must respect them.

Someone else’s interests can easily be discussed, especially in youth. Music, movies, social media and even embroidery or macramé: any hobby of the person can seem strange to someone. An immature man judges what he doesn’t understand, often criticizing his girlfriend sharply and discouraging her. A grown man realizes that everyone has the right to have his own hobby and criticizing those of his beloved is unworthy.

14. Control is capable of killing any relationship

In her youth, jealousy may even seem romantic, she may regard it as a true sign of passion. But a mature person understands that possession has very little in common with love and trusts his partner.

Throughout life, we learn that love is full of wonderful discoveries. Write in the comments what you’ve learned for yourself in mature relationships.

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