Portrait of a happy family

We usually see sweetened photographs in magazines, happy endings in movies or family images in advertisements. In all these places, what would be the portrait of “an ideal family” appears, although many times we do not understand what this really means.

Is there a formula to be the perfect family? To answer this question, we must first determine what is meant by “family perfection” and how we can be happy at home even if we are “imperfect” or do not fall within the social “ideal.”

Marriage with two children = perfect family?

When we see an advertisement for a medical company, a vacation in the Caribbean or car insurance In most cases the image is of a family made up of the couple, a boy and a girl. Of course everyone was happy, hugging and combing their hair. That is the concept of an ideal family that is instilled in us from a young age and to which we are supposed to aspire.

That is why when you are in a courtship they ask you about the wedding, when you get married they ask you about the baby and when the firstborn is born they already want to know when the second (or the “couple” as they say) will come. In some way, others with their questions trace the path they consider “natural” for you.

The utopia of the perfect family, which we have inherited generation after generation, may be related to the continuity of the species or to the help that parents received depending on the sex of their children (the girl with housework, the boy with field work).

Is it possible to be a happy family?

In order to get a family photograph like the one in the advertisements, we all need to feel good, with the ability to show a smile from ear to ear beyond the cameras. For many, achieving happiness within the home seems like an impossible mission… for others, a goal to work on daily.

It is necessary to start from the proposal that Bruce Feiler states in his essay “The Secrets of Happy Families”, to feel good we need those around us or who live with us. One of the most common problems that couples encounter when having children is how to ensure that the children’s happiness does not destroy their own. This is related, for example, to all those dreams and concerns that parents put aside to care for their children.

Working overtime, not buying new clothes, stopping going out to eat or going to the movies are activities that new parents suddenly don’t have time for. Especially if they do not have the help of family members who can give them a hand and stay with the children. How then can we educate children in a pleasant environment if the elderly or their guardians “don’t take care of themselves”?

How to be an ideal family?

Beyond the canons of perfection that we may have in mind, good families are not always happy, as they show us on television, in movies or in advertisements. Starting because more than happiness, What stands out in a good family is union and unconditionality. Brothers can get angry, but when they need each other they know that they will count on each other unconditionally.

On the other hand, a good family is a home, a place of refuge and from which we can always start because they, our family members, will be the ones who understand our mistakes better than anyone. They will also be the most sincere, those who do not hesitate to tell us something when they think we are wrong and those who sincerely share our joy when we get it right.

Yes too. A good family is the one that laughs together and the one that acts as a memory for our gaps. It gives us memories of our early years, of which we barely retain any, and reminds us of our antics as children and also when we were a little older so that we do not forget the healthy habit of laughing, from time to time, at ourselves.

So, Communication is vital for any relationship, including family ones.. In this way it is easier for both parents and children to feel happy, accepted, valued, understood… Searching among all the values ​​that represent them is like being in a boat and rowing in the same direction or looking in the same direction. In a forest.

Of course there will be times when that perfection is not in sight and we have to work to recover that virtue, however that will also be a lesson and a way of being together in the face of the adversities that we have to experience.

Finally, we can say that The best families are those in which everyone feels part of everyone. In which joy and pain are shared sincerely, in which strength lies in union and in the moments spent together.

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