People who do not admit their mistakes, why is that?

If making mistakes makes us human, admitting error and asking for forgiveness should make us (as Alexander Pope said) divine. However, We live in a time marked by apparent infallibilitythere where there are many people who do not admit their mistakes, politicians who do not assume responsibility for their mistakes and institutions that do not accept the weight of their mistakes.

Why is it so difficult to take the step towards recognizing these errors and falsehoods? Curiously enough, we are often more likely to be apologized for something than to bravely and clearly admit the existence of an error or grievance. This was shown to us, for example, by a study carried out at Ohio State University.

Psychologists Roy Lewick and Leah Polin discovered that we always it is easier for them to tell us that “Okay, sorry if this bothered you.” to that other of “It’s true, I was wrong, I made a mistake” . This attempts to slightly repair the emotional factor, but it does not demonstrate an authentic sense of responsibility, where one fully assumes their guilt by expressing it openly, sincerely and bravely.

It is therefore not easy to admit to others that one is fallible. In that classic desire to appear to be blameless, invulnerable to failure as well as highly effective, we are creating very rigid, complex and unhealthy scenarios. Perhaps we forget that happiness is not in being divine, because in truth it is enough for us to be human. A place where Admitting mistakes is, after all, an exceptional opportunity for growth and improvement.

People who do not admit their mistakes: factors that explain it

People who do not admit their mistakes make us desperate at first.. Later we tried to make them see the evidence of some facts more calmly and then we ended up giving them up for lost. This is because they are often personality styles so rigid and lacking in social skills that we become aware that it is not worth losing our spirit and even our health for nothing.

Last year the New York Times published an interesting article about this very thing. Paul Krugman, a professor at Princeton University, pointed out that the world is currently experiencing a strange epidemic of infallibility. That is, starting with the politicians themselves and other social agents, Everyone clings to wanting to give an image of absolute efficiency. Admitting mistakes, assuming responsibility for certain falsehoods or bad decisions that have brought serious consequences, is a red line that no one wants to cross.

This is primarily due to the classic idea that admitting a mistake is showing weakness.. And in a world characterized by constant uncertainty, showing weakness is rushing into a fall. Now, beyond that known social macro-scenario (and suffered by everyone), we are also interested in that more daily and close-knit behavior. Those people who do not admit their mistakes and who live with us. What is behind these profiles?

Narcissism

Brunel University (United Kingdom) carried out an interesting study analyzing personality styles with the way of interacting on social networks. Something that could be seen is that Narcissists are those people obsessed with almost constantly publishing their achievements, their goals achieved, his apparent virtues, his high competencies.

However, this type of personality, characterized by a high vision of oneself, never admits its own faults. Doing so is a direct violation of your expectations of absolute competence. Something that he will always prefer is to detect other people’s mistakes to expose us.

Personal irresponsibility

Personal irresponsibility is related to emotional immaturity and a lack of social skills. Thus, people who do not admit their mistakes are also those who have serious deficiencies, they are those who lack those basic skills to coexist, respect, create meaningful bonds, know how to team up or even create a project for the future.

If I do not take responsibility for my mistakes, I assume that they do not exist, that I am infallible, that my actions have no consequences and that, therefore, I am capable of anything. This personal approach inevitably leads us to failure and unhappiness.

Defense mechanisms

We all make mistakes and when we do we have two options. The first and most reasonable is to admit the mistake, take responsibility. The second option is to refuse it, block it and build a sophisticated defense mechanism around it. The most common is undoubtedly cognitive dissonance, where two contradictory situations arise and where someone, at a given moment, can choose not to see them or not accept them so that their identity is not affected.

For example, in an article published in the European Journal of Social Psychology Something very striking could be verified. People who chose not to take responsibility for their mistakes believe that they are stronger as a result., has greater power over others and greater control over themselves. Therefore, even though they are aware that they have made a mistake, and that the cognitive dissonance is there, they choose to silence it to keep their ego well protected.

How to deal with people who don’t admit their mistakes?

Because there are many people who find it difficult to admit their own mistakes, It is very likely that at some point in our lives we will come across one of them.. Therefore, before they make us feel upset and uncomfortable, the ideal is that we know how to treat them.

First of all, The most important thing is that we do not allow ourselves to be consumed by resentment and anger., since it will only wear us down and leave problems in the relationship. Instead, begin to recognize that said behavior is due to a problem on the part of the other person, for which you are not responsible.

For its part, also It is important that you are not the one who apologizes for expressing how you feel.. Always keep in mind that people who do not want to admit their mistakes will hardly know how to see beyond what you convey to them.

To conclude, as we can see, people who do not admit their mistakes use an endless number of psychological strategies to blatantly evade their responsibility. Making them come to their senses undoubtedly requires exquisite diligence, which is not easy.. However, this does not mean that at some point they can take the step.

It is never too late to get off our pedestal and be human, admit our mistake and have before us a wonderful opportunity for personal growth.

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