People don’t change, it’s the idealization you make of them.

You don’t really know how it happens, but one day, in the simplest and most mundane act, you end up opening your eyes. You may have been with a person for 5 months or 5 years, but suddenly, you realize what they really are like. With all its crudeness. People sometimes are not what we thought…

And that is where many of your dreams are broken, where most of your hopes and dreams escape in thin threads. Because you have lived with the mask of fascination or blind love that prevented you from appreciating the real truth.

It is clear that sometimes it is true that people can change. Circumstances and lived experiences change us… However, We all have an unmistakable essence, of a type of personality, integrity and values ​​that tend to be constant over time.

It is in our hands to know how to realize it in time, to know how to read in gestures, to know how to intuit in words, to know how to deduce in actions. Sometimes love is a bad filter when it comes to being objective, But this does not mean that, as always, we must keep our hearts open and our feet on the ground. Tied to the roots of balance and self-protection.

People don’t change, but they mask

At first we all tried to fit in. There are many people who, for example, try to square their particular edges and voids with those of their partners so that everything is harmonious, almost perfect…

Sooner or later the first disappointment appears. We do not know how, nor do we understand how the other person was able to do or say such a thing, however, it has happened and we cannot do anything to change it.

Little by little, those revealing situations arise where people are put to the test. There where his true essence, his authentic personality, is demonstrated.

What has happened? How can they be so different from how they were in the beginning to what we are experiencing now? We must accept it: it is not that they have changed overnight. Actually, There are people who are not as we initially believed.

And the discovery is usually devastating.

Our resistance to seeing the truth about the people we love

How to accept that the person we love is not what we originally thought? Believe it or not, these types of situations are very common realities in everyday life., and in fact they do not arise only at the couple level. It also happens between friends and even among many family ties.

There is no magic formula that allows us to see in the second how people really are. In fact, many times they don’t even know it. It is necessary to share moments, experience experiences so that it is one’s own life that brings to light one’s own darkness and inner beauties. Now, despite being complicated, there are a series of aspects that we should take into account:

Avoid being the one wearing a blindfold

If it is already common for many people to go through the halls of life covered by their own masks of virginal seduction, it is not worth it for us to also go with a blindfold.

Avoid idealizing. Draw conclusions through words, actions, gestures and also silences. A person is known not by the banners that he crowns himself, but by the details that you yourself can intuit.

Don’t expect them to change for you

This is a mistake that many of us tend to make. Sometimes, it may happen that we know in advance what a person is like. We know his flaws, we know he can hurt us… However, we tell ourselves that “With us it will be different: they will change.”

And yet it does not happen, it is not common for people to change their way of being., their customs, their needs, their nuances. We will continue to wait a useless wait in which our self-esteem and our hopes are undermined. It’s a dangerous thing.

Image courtesy; Catrin Welz-Stein

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