Opposites attract. Myth or reality?

In search of our “better half”, Many times we feel deeply attracted to people who are polar opposites to us. At first this difference in character and personality may seduce us because the unknown always captures our attention. But are these relationships really guaranteed success?

Although there is a belief that “opposites attract”, In practice these relationships are not as fruitful as the collective imagination believes.. Those “differences” that at first capture our attention and that we even see as traits that complement and enrich our personality, over time become problems that make it difficult to understand the couple and cause a breakup.

That a methodical person gets along with a chaotic and disorganized person or that an extroverted person gets along well with a more introverted person is possible, but scientific studies show that couples made up of individuals with similar tastes are more likely to last over time.

What are we looking for in a partner?

There is no mathematical or magical formula that ensures the success of a relationship.. There are multiple factors that influence its success or failure.

Psychologists agree that Physical attraction is the first alert we receive when we see a potential partner in another person. To this we must add the psychological traits and personal experience that condition us when choosing the person with whom we want to share our life.

The experiences we accumulate in the field of love also influence our choice of partner.. With age, the preferences and characteristics we look for in the other person change. The priorities of a teenager are not the same as those of a thirty-something, for example.

Types of couple

Those looking for a partner with a personality similar to theirs are really looking for someone who complements them.. These types of relationships are usually solid. The couple has common values, which makes them face life in a very similar way. Generally, they show greater ease in putting themselves in the other’s shoes and in resolving crises that arise in the couple.

However, those people who are looking for a partner with a personality opposite to theirs need to know a different way of life and they do this through their partner. Differences enrich, but what at first is very seductive and exciting, over time takes its toll on the relationship..

Opposite poles repel each other

Therefore, and taking into account the experts’ considerations, It seems that in couple relationships the opposite poles do not cause the same effect as in magnetic fields.. Rather than attracting each other, they seem to repel each other. Although at first it seems quite the opposite. However, if we are thinking about consolidating the relationship and making it lasting, The result will not be what we expect and far from attracting us to our partner, we will end up repelling each other.
We have to have certain things in commonWell, if our partner is in favor of bullfighting and we are against it, although we may overlook this at first, everything will end up exploding in the end.

We cannot live together and maintain a relationship with someone completely opposite and different from us., with someone whose values ​​differ and clash with ours. Although at first there seems to be some kind of hope and we keep in our minds the belief that “love can do everything” in reality it will not be like that, at least in most cases.

Does every difference repel?

There are enriching differences. If my partner likes jazz and I like rock, we can discover new music. If my partner likes the sea and I like the mountains, we can exchange hobbies. The point is knowing how to combine and not close yourself off to new experiences. However, if we refuse to open ourselves to new experiences and only want to do what we like, this can lead to big problems in the long run.

On the other hand, There are deeper differences that can lead to problems from the first moment.. For example, If my partner expresses contempt towards certain groups, his attitude is selfish and self-centered and I am the complete opposite.Although at first it may seem like we fit in, In the long run numerous conflicts may arise. At this point we can ask ourselves if the difference in political ideas could influence romantic relationships, and the answer is yes.

These data can be confirmed by a curious study carried out in 2011 in the United States by Klofstad, McDermott and Hatemi, in which the results showed that On dating websites, people prefer to admit that they are overweight (an aspect that is usually hidden) rather than reveal their political ideology.. Only 14% of the subjects included their political tendencies.

The authors state that: “Our best estimate is that most people prefer to be open-minded in their casual relationships and dating, however, In the long term, he prefers that political tastes be an essential requirement for lasting relationships“.

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