Nothing you do will be right for many people, but what does it matter?

Don’t do it, don’t stress, Don’t make your existence bitter because nothing you do will be right for many people. But what does it matter? Stopping worrying about what is not worth it is gaining mental health, and it is, above all, putting an end to those ruminative thoughts that steal our energy and tranquility.

We have to admit it, This constant dedication to others is almost a reflex action in many of us. It is like a psychic tendon that for a long time has fulfilled a very specific function in human beings: achieving acceptance by the group.

Because whoever thinks differently or He who acts through healthy selfishness sometimes remains isolated of the great flock of white sheep. And that, for many people, can be traumatic.

Adaptation and self-esteem

As ironic as it may seem, thinking about whether what we do will be right, Chronicizing this constant dedication to others actually achieves a reduction in our self-esteem. and drown our illusions. Because just as there are absolute pleasers, there are also many unscrupulous predators.

Specimens almost instinctively prepared to take advantage of those people for whom the word “NO” does not exist or is prohibited in their conscience. Therefore, whether we believe it or not, The need to adjust almost every moment to other people’s expectations is also a form of self-harm.

Little by little we enter a complex dynamic where we discover that we are being manipulated, that saying “yes” is already a reflex action that is impossible to control. Frustration leads to anger, anger leads to grief and the disconsolation in a nervous depression.

“Self-esteem is not as vile a sin as dismissing oneself.”

-William Shakespeare-

Nothing is as devastating as rising up as our own enemy. just by not daring to practice healthy selfishness, by always thinking about whether what we do will be right or not in the eyes of others. We suggest you reflect on it.

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Whatever you do, it will not be right in the eyes of many.

Falling into the obsession of fulfilling everything that our partners, family or bosses expect robs us of mental strength. We lose emotional and psychological resources, and we even develop a type of existential anemia where the fabric of our self-esteem is seriously affected.

this vital sacrifice is not always rewarded

The psychic overload to which the complacent person derives is intensified with obsessive thoughts. and with a rehash of internal dialogues dominated by the “If I don’t do this, it’s possible that…” I have to do it very well because if it’s not perfect, it may…”

We must be clear about one essential aspect: this continued stress, based on the fact that we increasingly assume more demands than we can handle, often leads to the cycle of depression.

Albert Ellis, famous cognitive psychotherapist, reminds us that this vital suffering is not only due to those people who demand us, who demand perfection and poisoned favors from us. It is we who, with our irrational beliefs, intensify suffering that could be avoided.

One of those irrational beliefs is thinking that other people’s approval validates us as people. It is possible that as children we were made to believe this way. Nevertheless, Growing, maturing and evolving is getting a little closer to yourself. to discover that the only person we should never disappoint is us.

So, the sooner we understand that sometimes whatever you do will not be right for many, the better. We will be able to go to bed with a clear conscience, without any weight, without anxieties. It is a sensational way to invest in quality of life.

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Whatever you do, make you happy

It doesn’t matter that you don’t have the grace to tell anecdotes. Nor did you refuse to pursue that career that your parents dreamed of. It also doesn’t matter that your friends count each other on one hand or that you laugh outrageously. Nothing matters as long as it is YOU in all its essence.YOU in every word said, in every act carried out.

“You deserve the best of the best, you are one of those few people who, in this miserable world, remain honest with themselves and that is what really matters.”

-Frida Khalo-

When one has the courage to put complacency aside, that authentic self emerges., full and wonderful that we all carry inside. And whoever doesn’t like it should turn around. Whoever doesn’t like it should take the opposite path.

Because as long as there is respect there will be coexistence. However, as we have pointed out before, The first step is to respect ourselves. We explain how to get it.

How to stop being a complacent person

A pleaser person is one of the kindest beings that exist. Others know this, and often take advantage of it. This is what Richard and Rachel Heller teach us in “Healthy selfishness: how to take care of yourself without feeling guilty” . A book where they describe the mental and physical exhaustion that this type of behavioral profile usually leads to.

The first step to stop feeding this self-denial towards others is to rediscover ourselves.. There are people who have been helping, caring and pleasing for so long that they have completely forgotten what their passions were, their dreams. That which identified them. The second step, once we have become aware of our interests and desires, is to begin to practice healthy selfishness. For it, Remember the following rule: dare to say “YES” without fear and “NO” without guilt.

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At first it will cost us. Reflex actions do not disappear just like that. However, keep this simple tip in mind: allow a few minutes to elapse between the complainant’s request and your responseand try to make it happy.

That will be the moment when you will have stopped being a pleaser.