Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay! – GOOD SHAPE

It may be that this truth hurts you a lot, but the sooner we understand, the better and lighter it will be for your relationships.

You know, there are times in life when we try very hard to please others and try to belong to new groups of friends, but the more we put our efforts into it, we can stop being who we really are, leaving our needs aside and that also becomes harmful.

If we don’t like everyone else ourselves, we can’t want everyone to like us too!

I have several patients who tell me how difficult it is to accept when someone doesn’t want them lovingly or how difficult it is to get closer to certain friendships. But the question I always like to bring is: But do you really like that person or would you just like to be in a relationship? Do you really want to live with this person and be part of their life?

The answer is sometimes positive and sometimes not! After all, many times we want to stay with certain people for convenience or the need to belong, but not because it actually aggregates us or provides us with welcome and joy. But when we really want this company and the other doesn’t, we need to accept the other’s choice!

And you won’t always have a reason why the other doesn’t want you the way you want them, but of course it’s worth reflection to understand if it’s something you can and want to change in your life.

I’ll give you an example: imagine you’re open to dating and you meet a new person. There are several factors that you will evaluate to see if you really want to have a serious relationship with this person, correct?! You will realize what are her values, what are her personal tastes, how she treats you and others around her, what are her priorities… It could be that the other is simply more humorous and less ambitious and you don’t want that for your life at the moment. time. So that person doesn’t fit what you expected, and there’s nothing they can do to fit in, after all, to what extent is it worth leaving a trait of our personality behind to please the other? So it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the person, it’s just that you don’t want someone like that.

And the same goes for us! We won’t please everyone, we will frustrate some people, we won’t be good company for others and that’s ok, really!!! We need to accept this in order to move forward and focus on the relationships that bring us together and make us happy!

Ps: worth a reflection on the subject ok? Of course, at different times we will give up some opinions and values ​​to be with company and live socially, but so that we stop trying all the time to do for others and also do for ourselves and find cores of friendships that actually make us feel good!

________________________________________________________________________

Hi, my name is Priscila Conte Vieira, but you can call me Pri! I am a psychologist, speaker, mentor and teacher. I work in clinical psychology, I specialize in Positive Psychology and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, master in self-knowledge, life coach, NLP practitioner and also creator of the Podcast Breathe, don’t freak out (how about checking it out on Spotify?!)

I’ll be here every week, addressing themes of Positive Psychology, happiness, well-being and helping them to be their best versions, through self-knowledge and flourishing. To find out more about me and follow me on a daily basis, just follow me on Instagram! I’m there like @psi.priscilaconte See you next Saturday! See you <3