My partner has cheated on me several times: what to do?

Facing infidelity is probably one of the hardest situations in the field of relationships. And when the partner has cheated on the other person several times, the situation can become unbearable. Furthermore, in these cases, The person who has suffered infidelity usually spreads doubts towards himself.

We are talking about a phenomenon that often represents an earthquake for the emotional stability of a couple, especially for those who suffer deception. From that moment on, many people feel like they can’t turn the page. -at least not if that relationship continues-.

How to act then? What alternatives do we have? How can we manage the situation so that the suffering does not perpetuate?

Why does a person cheat on their partner?

This is one of the first questions that crosses the mind of someone who suffers from infidelity. In this sense, ruminating trying to find an answer often leads to negative thoughts about oneselfsuch as believing that one is not good enough for the partner, causing them to look for what they need in another person.

There are several reasons that can cause a person to be unfaithful. Some of the most common are the following:

Taste for excitement and risk: People more likely to seek adrenaline rushes by doing “forbidden things” may be attracted to having a relationship outside the couple.The couple does not cover essential needs: lack of attention, mistreatment or unresolved conflicts are some examples of reasons that lead someone to feel attracted to people outside the relationship.Resolve doubts: Some people have the idea that having something romantic outside of the commitment can help them reaffirm the feelings they have for their partner or, on the contrary, deny them. There are no romantic feelings for the partner.Revenge or anger: In conflictive relationships, infidelity can be used to punish the couple.

If your partner has cheated on you several times, you know that the reasons you just read raise more questions than answers. Furthermore, unfaithful people rarely come clean; If the fact comes to light it is because, in some way, they are discovered.

He has cheated on me several times: why?

Isolated infidelity and chronic infidelity are phenomena that can have very similar consequences. It is not necessary for the event to be repeated for trust to end. Now, why would anyone continue to be unfaithful? Here are some answers:

Because they can: their partner forgives them and their lover still does not know the relationship or does not care. Because they do not care how the other person may feel. Because they seek sensations that they cannot find in the relationship they have.

My partner has cheated on me several times: what can I do?

Good emotional management will allow us to make better decisions. An intelligence exercise that begins by understanding how we feel, by clarifying what we want and by clarifying what we are not willing to consent to.

1. Give yourself the time you need

Maybe taking physical distance after hearing the news will help you.. Before thinking about what’s to come, it’s good to clarify where you are right now.

If that’s what you need, find someone you trust to talk to. Remember that it is not you who has failed, even if a relationship is a matter of two. It is the other person who has broken the implicit agreement that the two of you had somehow signed. To do this, you will probably need time; take the one you need.

2. Work on negative thoughts

Even if you have made mistakes in the relationship, No one has the right to disrespect you and betray your trust. Therefore, try to avoid falling into thinking dynamics that place you in the role of cause of infidelity.

You can count on the help of a professional if necessary, since working on self-esteem in a situation like this is expensive.

3. Assess what you need and what is best for you

How long can you bear the weight of infidelity? In reality, the first thing you have to clarify is not why your partner has cheated on you several times, but What do you need for the future with this person.

4. Talk to your partner

If you have decided to continue with the relationship, then it is time to talk to your partner. It should be a constructive conversation, where each party presents their version honestly and responsibly.

It is important to identify all the agents causing the relationship to correct them. and that they do not repeat themselves. It will also be necessary to work to overcome the emotional wound and regain trust. Couples therapy can help you in this regard.

5. End the relationship

Another option is to end the relationship. Whether infidelity occurs or not, we always have this right. Freedom is one of the pillars on which love is based. If this does not exist, if it is not the person who freely chooses to be part of a relationship, it is very difficult for it to be positive.

Liquid infidelity

In a society in which relationships are no longer exclusively monogamous, infidelity seems to become liquid, like many other phenomena. However, it is still a phenomenon that breaks many couples, the straw that breaks the camel’s back in many relationships.

For all those who suffer from it, there is no universal recommendation. Each couple is a world, in their moment and their circumstances. However, this does not mean that it is very difficult for someone who has been unfaithful for a long time to stop being unfaithful. Nor does it mean that the majority of people who decide to forgive, over and over again, end up within a circle of chronic suffering, to which they remain united for fear of loneliness.