My desire to socialize has decreased: why is this?

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There are many people who, in recent months, feel less desire to go out, meet people and socialize. In fact, it is common to resort to excuses and even lies to avoid social interaction.

“My desire to socialize has diminished. If before I did not hesitate to accept every invitation and every proposal, now it is much more difficult for me to meet people“. If this feeling is familiar to you, know that you are not the only one. In the last 18 months, and as a result of the pandemic, the social habits of many people seem to have changed.

Now, is there any problem with this? Evidently, Everyone decides how they want to live their life and how to spend their time. at every moment, which has nothing pathological. However, this phenomenon is not without some social and psychological interest. Sometimes, certain events prompt us to make personal reflections.

Maybe before we just let ourselves go, doing things only out of inertia. Now we choose to feel. Nowadays, we lean towards more specific and emotionally significant experiences. However, yes, It is also important to consider those more problematic cases, such as social anhedonia. We analyze it.

Social interaction is a decisive factor for physical and mental well-being, however, sometimes this psychological reality decreases due to various factors.

My desire to socialize has decreased: factors that explain it

The fact that we have spent a lot of time at home has changed us more than we think. Our interaction patterns altered and even our way of working also began to follow a different model. The home became a refuge and there are those who still resist going out into the world in the same way as before, with the same energy, desire and confidence.

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This causes a large number of people to say more and more that “My desire to socialize has diminished, I feel like I’m not the same as before.“. So much so that we are seeing the emergence of a phenomenon that Professor Jeff Hancock and his colleagues called “butler lies” in a study.

They are neither more nor less than those excuses that we give for WhatsApp when someone proposes to meet us. For example, lately we use excuses like “My phone was silent, I didn’t see your message; I’ve been disconnected lately or I have a lot of things to do”.

The hyperconnectivity and the need that we had to respond almost instantly and say yes to that proposal has also changed in some cases.

We could say without a doubt that our interaction habits have changed. This can, in some cases, be beneficial. It allows us to invest more in ourselves, to decide what is best for us at every moment. However, it can also reveal a problem of social anhedonia.

You don’t feel like interacting because you don’t feel well

Since we are not feeling well mentally, there is no motivation to interact. Not even to leave the house. The truth is that there is still not enough talk about the problems of anxiety and underlying depression that are increasingly evident in the population.

What people experience in these cases is disinterest, lack of energy and courage to communicate with others. Also, a feeling of unreality, of lack of meaning in the connection with friends, family, etc. Behind these realities there may be a mood disorder.

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Social anhedonia is not directly related to depression or anxiety. It is rather a preference for loneliness, lack of social skills, desires for isolation and often a more problematic psychological vulnerability. What these men and women experience is a complete lack of interpersonal reward in interactions.

It is not something specific in time either. It is a condition that becomes chronic. Sometimes social anhedonia is directly linked to autism spectrum disorder or schizophrenia.

You are in a process of change: rethinking what and who you want in your life

When you tell yourself “my desire to socialize has decreased” it is possible that you are in the middle of a life transition. Sometimes, complicated times invite us to deep reflection. This lack of desire when it comes to meeting your friends or colleagues may be due to the fact that you are considering making changes.

Moments of crisis make us rethink what we want in our lives and who we want in it. This process takes time and, therefore, it is common to want a certain disconnection to think and decide.

You just need time, you will regain the pleasure of connection

There is no need to go back to the big time. That is to say, It is not advisable to recover your social life suddenly by attending everything that is proposed to you.. There are processes that take time, and recovering our real and physical connection also requires its guidelines, its cadence, etc. If you feel that your desire to socialize is not the same, give yourself a few weeks.

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Start by staying with a meaningful friendship. Then, expand the circle with those people you appreciate the most. In the end, quality counts more than quantity. and if there is something we have learned in these months, it is that life is a precious commodity. Let’s enjoy it at our own pace, in the way we want and with whoever we want most. No hurries…