Mothers and daughters: the bond that heals, the bond that hurts

Each daughter takes her mother with her. It is an eternal bond from which we can never separate ourselves. Because, if something should be clear to us, it is that we will always contain something from our mothers. To be healthy and happy, Each of us has to know how our mother influenced our history and how she continues to do so.

She is the one who, before being born, offers us our first experience of affection and sustenance. And it is through her that we understand what it means to be a woman and how we can take care of or neglect our body. The bond with mothers is something extremely special.

“Our cells divided and developed to the rhythm of your heartbeat; our skin, hair, heart, lungs, and bones were nourished by his blood, blood that was filled with the neurochemicals formed in response to his thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. If you felt afraid, anxious, nervous, or felt very unhappy about the pregnancy, our body found out about it; If she felt safe, happy and satisfied, we noticed it too”

-Christiane Northrup-

The legacy we inherited from our mothers

Any woman, whether she is a mother or not, carries with her the consequences of the relationship she has had with her mother.. If she has transmitted positive messages about the female body and the way in which it should be worked on and cared for, her teachings will always be part of a guide for her physical and emotional health.

Read Also: 17 phrases from thinkers that will make you reflect on life

However, The influence of mothers can also be problematic when the role they play is toxic due to a careless, jealous, blackmailing or controlling attitude.

“The best inheritance from a mother to a daughter is to have been healed as a woman”

-Christiane Northrup-

When we manage to understand the effects that upbringing has had on us, we begin to be willing to understand ourselves, to heal ourselves, to be able to assimilate what we believe about our body or to explore what we consider possible to achieve in life.

Maternal care, an essential nutrient for life

When a television camera focuses on someone in the audience at a sporting event or any other event… What do people generally shout? “Hi Mom!!”. Almost all of us have the need to be seen by our mothers, we seek their approval.

Originally, this dependence is due to biological issues, since we need them to survive for many years; However, the need for affection and approval is forged from minute one, from the moment we look at her to see if we are doing something right or if we deserve a caress.

As Northrup points out, The mother-daughter bond is strategically designed to be one of the most positive, supportive, and intimate relationships we will ever have. However, this does not always happen like this…

Over the years this need for approval can become pathological.generating emotional obligations that will allow our mother to have the power of our well-being throughout or almost our entire life.

The fact that our mother recognizes us and accepts us is a thirst that we have to quench, even though we have to suffer to do so. This represents a loss of independence and freedom that turns us off and transforms us.

How to start growing as a woman and as a daughter?

The decision to grow involves cleaning emotional wounds or any issue that has been left unfinished in the first half of our life. This transition is not an easy task, since first we have to detect which parts of the mother-child relationship require resolution and healing.

Read Also: 7 reasons why you are always late

Our feeling of present and future worth depends on it. This happens because there is always a part of us that thinks that we must give ourselves too much to our family or our partner to be worthy of love.

Motherhood and even female love remain cultural synonyms for sacrifice in the collective mind. This means that our needs are always relegated to the fulfillment or not of those of others. As a consequence, we do not dedicate ourselves to cultivating our female mind, but to mold it to the taste of the society in which we live.

The world’s expectations of us can be very cruel. In fact, I would say that they constitute a true poison that forces us to forget our individuality.

These are the reasons that make it so necessary to break the chain of pain and fully heal our ties or the memories we have of them. We must realize that these have long since become spiritual.

Therefore, We have to make peace with the oddities with which we have had to live. Whether or not they are that bad. We cannot escape that bond, because whether it is healthy or not, it will always manage our future as it pleases.