Missing is more than remembering

Missing someone is one of the most painful feelings we can experience. Missing goes beyond remembering the good times we had with that person, even though they are no longer part of our lives and we have long since removed them from our hearts, their memory haunts us night and day.

So why do we miss? Is it possible to avoid it? The problem with missing someone lies in the void that that being has left us when they leave. The space must be filled somehow and the solution is not always to let someone else in.

When missing hurts

We can cite many examples of people we miss: we miss a sweetheart from adolescence, a very dear friend, a grandfather who died a while ago, the moments of happiness with our family in childhood…

We do not want to miss, but, nevertheless, it is something that we cannot control and that hurts greatly. Beyond the lack that that person (or that situation) may cause us, what it really makes us feel is a tightness in our chest and tears welling up in our eyes. It is the gap that has been left empty and that we cannot fill.

When you love someone deeply and you have been truly happy with that person, the fact that they are no longer with you is a cause for sadness.. Of course it is understandable in the first moments. However, after a certain time you should move on and move on with your life.

Missing is more than remembering and above all, more than suffering. Because you can have the nice memory of a school teacher or a trip you have taken. But missing goes beyond that. To miss is to find ourselves again facing the emptiness that that game left us. And it is very difficult to fill it again!

Missing is hard to explain

We have looked up the meaning of the word in the dictionary miss and it may help us a little. It is a transitive verb and means “to notice the lack of something that is usually used and that has been replaced by something else.” From this encyclopedia definition we could draw some conclusions…

To begin with, it indicates that it is the lack of something that is “used” frequently. If we transfer it to feelings, we will say that Missing takes place when we don’t have someone whom we saw constantly and whom we love very much.

Secondly, it is stated that something or someone has been replaced by another. In reality, if you are suffering it is because you have not yet been able to replace it. Or the place that that being occupied is now populated by a great void that cannot be filled.

Miss or remember?

We already have the approximate definition of the action of surprising. We would need to remember to complete this puzzle. Again searching in the dictionary we find that Remembering is about “bringing to one’s memory something perceived, learned or known. Hold something in your mind.”

What can be deduced from it? May memories remain in the brain! That is, they are not related to feelings and, if so, they do not make us sad or make us want to cry. To sum up, to miss is to long for a person and the moments we have lived together.

For its part, remembering is bringing those beautiful scenes to our minds but leaving aside longing or nostalgia. That is, without the feelings that were experienced back then. Of course it is difficult to “tear” emotions from a memory, we are not robots or machines. But many times it is worth trying to avoid the depression, crying or even the hatred that it generates in us.

If you want to avoid missing someone every time you remember someone, you may want to push those thoughts away as far as possible. For example, do not do anything that might bring to mind their face, the words said, or the moments shared.

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