Make a contract to maintain the love of a couple?

It’s very romantic talk about your partner in terms of sweet words and fiery details of affection. It is one of the most beautiful aspects of this type of relationship, but over time they tend to occupy an increasingly smaller field in that world of two.

When the couple is faced with the ordinary of everyday life, there are many expectations that are readjusted. Although love is still alive, everyday life is full of small difficulties what needs to be resolved. If this is not done, problems begin.

Coexistence strengthens the bond, but at the same time gives rise to situations that can deteriorate it. In short, the two members of the couple have different pasts, different customs and unequal ways of acting. Coupling and adjusting the two ways of life is not always so easy.

At the same time, as the days, weeks and years go by, love also changes. There are moments when it seems like it is no longer there. Crises appear and with them the question of whether it is really worth continuing to move forward. The couple is always built on an implicit contract, but Is it good to make it explicit to protect the bond from these wear and tear and crises? ?

The implicit contract in the relationship

Every couple needs agreements to live together. The most common thing is that these occur spontaneously and in no particular order. As different situations arise, partial agreements are formulated and each person decides in practice whether to comply with them or not.

Most agreements are given implicitly. However, these agreements are not always fair or reasonable.. Many times one of the two gives in, without conviction, to the demands or negligence of the other, simply because he does not want a conflict or considers it a lost fight. That doesn’t mean he’s comfortable with the situation.

Coexistence always brings tensions. However, this becomes critical when one or both of them resists fulfilling their role.. Not only in those small tasks or daily tasks, but also in deeper aspects such as fidelity, attention and consideration for others, or availability.

Also implicitly, pacts are broken in many areas. It is then argued that these did not exist, or that they were not sufficiently understood. Implicit is not the best option for making agreements.

The explicit agreements

Some couples have been proposing to change these implicit rules of the game for others that are express through a contract. These pacts go far beyond agreeing who takes the dog for a walk, or whose turn it is to clean the bathroom on the weekends. They cover topics such as what sanctions will be applied in case of infidelity, or what kind of compensation will be charged when there are gestures of emotional abandonment.

The newspaper The New York Times recently published the testimony of a couple who built an entire normative volume, that is, a contract that contained a series of rules to guide them. It covers everything from division of time and tasks, to issues related to money and rules to apply in case of illness, guests at home and dialogues on thorny topics. The couple who gives their testimony says that the result has been spectacular.

Would it be worth it for each couple to draw up a contract that reflects their own code of conduct, as a regulation, to guarantee greater harmony and take care of the bond? Is it a way of subtracting spontaneity, or a realistic means of facing the fact that love also involves decisions and will?

The discredited middle ground

Perhaps in a society like North America, these types of couple regulations are a completely viable option.. In Latin cultures, however, such an agreement may not be easily accepted. However, it cannot be denied that it could have validity.

Definitely Coexistence, with whoever, is much more harmonious when the rules of the game are clear for all parties and are freely followed. This avoids unnecessary conflicts and opts for a civilized way of facing obligations and duties. In that sense, accepted and fulfilled pacts surely help the couple flow and, of course, preserve good coexistence.

Despite this, much more is at stake in the love of a couple than an organizational agreement. There are a multitude of feelings, emotions and expectations that we are never fully aware of, but that at the same time mark various aspects of the relationship. The love between a man and a woman will never be reducible to a catalogue. In all human relationships, there will always be a terrain that is marked by uncertainty and that escapes control..

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