Living as a couple without clipping your wings: on what level is freedom?

We are human beings belonging to a society that we have not chosen, a society in which songs talk about how much two people love each other, what they need each other and how idyllic it is to have each other. In children’s movies we see how princes save princesses from dragons so that they can be their queens, where it is almost mandatory that both be one. But, on what level is the freedom of the couple, the independence, the individual project?

It belongs to you, a house, a cell phone, a computer, but not a person. The human being belongs to oneself, to the universe and to one’s experiences. No one has the right to take away your identity and cut your wings.

How we survive “romantic” relationships

In the last two hundred years, We can see how the romantic concept of love has been established, of completing each other, of being one and of making each day of the other person unique. for being by your side.

You meet a person and everything is wonderful, the first months everything is new, every gesture, every word, every place. You don’t want to separate from that person for anything in the world, you begin to create dynamics of two, where before you were one. This is fantastic, but time passes and dynamics are in danger of becoming needs, so that everything one does without the other is interpreted as selfishness.

Here is the error: We have to be rational enough, within the irrational that love makes us, so as not to lose our freedom.to be aware that individual activities, one’s own friends and moments of solitude are nothing more than the air that the kite of love needs to fly as high as it can.

Conversation is the best tool to promote independence

In order to promote freedom and independence in the couple, healthy and functional communication is essential.. It shouldn’t be a problem to inform your partner of your plans. It is not healthy to have to think about how to negotiate what you want to do, as if it were a barter, the couple is not a business, it must be a place of trust and understanding in which to pour all the good things about both of them.

When talking as a couple we must take into account, from both sides, that You don’t just talk to your partner: you talk to your partner and their life experience. It is good that two attitudes come into play here. On the one hand, the understanding that he has to adapt to you, since perhaps in the past he experienced things that now make him a distrustful and fearful person. From the other side, understand that you do not have your past in front of you, but rather a new person who is going to give you a new future and it is going to be great for both of you.

Enjoy each other, sharing quality time and freedom

We can find the greatest freedom when we take advantage of our time and give it quality, as well as when we are grateful for the time that others dedicate to us. By generating this current, we will be able to value the person next to us and every gesture they have towards us, without believing that this is “what they have to do” or that they are obliged to do it because it is what society dictates for their role as a couple.

Therefore, as a final conclusion, it would be good to remember that As a couple, space is vital, both what is shared and what is reserved.. In fact, it is most likely that favoring the reserved will also enrich the shared. Missing, feeling the need of the other or having time for reflection are examples of those activities that can add a lot to your partner and that are complicated to feel or do if you spend every moment together.

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