Learn to accept yourself

“Each person is an island unto themselves, in a very real sense, and can only build bridges to other islands if they truly want to be themselves and are willing to allow it.” (Carl Rogers)

Do you allow yourself to be yourself?

Living consciously can be difficult when the events we must face have to do with ourselves.

Maybe we like some parts of our body more than others, as well as some traits of our personality. This situation sometimes drives us to escape, reject or deny certain aspects of ourselves.

But, how can we accept those traits and aspects that we don’t like completely and without reservation?

Nathaniel Branden, Canadian psychotherapist, suggests that we say the following phrase to ourselves:

“Whatever my flaws or imperfections, I accept myself unreservedly and completely.”

And we must also be aware that accepting does not imply liking it or not wanting changes or improvements, but rather accept means experience the reality of ourselves without any denial or rejectiontherefore surrendering to reality, beginning over time to feel more comfortable with ourselves.

Generally our strength increases when we do not constantly try to fight reality, since our fear will not disappear because we yell at it, nor because we reproach ourselves.

It is useless to tell a victim of fear to relax, because at that moment he will not know how to transform that advice into behavior, but if we advise him to breathe softly and deeply or to imagine how he would feel if he were not afraid, we are proposing something executable.through which he could begin to open to fear and understand it, to finally face it.

Accepting ourselves does not mean that we do not want to change or evolve because we think that we are already enough in the various aspects of our life, but that we allow ourselves to focus on what we love about ourselves and at the same time we are aware of what we do not like. , being able to start changing it. In fact, self-acceptance is the precondition for change. Since only when we accept what we are and what we feel, we allow ourselves to be aware of our choices and actions. An old proverb expresses it very well saying “What resists persists. Only when we begin to accept, the situation changes”

Accepting ourselves as we are is accepting that what we think, feel and do are the expressions of our self at the moment in which they occur.

Remember: When we fight against a blockage, it does not weaken but becomes stronger, but when we recognize and accept it, it begins to disappear. We cannot overcome something whose reality we deny.

Bibliography:

Branden, Nathaniel (1988) How to Improve Your Self-Esteem. Ediciones Paidós Iberica, SA