Intermittent relationships can be very distressing and stressful.

Ending a relationship is never a pleasant experience.. The grief experienced after this event causes many people to return without resolving the problems that caused the breakup. When these transitions become cyclical, we speak of intermittent relationships.

Breaking up and making up in series promotes two unhealthy dynamics: repeated grief and emotional codependency. In the long term, it is an unsustainable situation, both with respect to the interaction and within the emotionality of the members of the couple.

There is evidence that supports the hypothesis that intermittent relationships escalate distress and depression. Therefore, it is advisable to be aware of how this spiral works and the consequences that it entails, as well as internalize it. Let’s go with it.

Why do some people go back to their exes over and over again?

Some people strictly follow that saying “better known evil than good unknown.”. Sometimes it feels better to get back with someone you know, even if there are problems, since it seems more costly to deepen the relationship with a stranger who has just arrived in your life.

This produces the following idea: is it necessary to have a partner? The truth is that, even with all the media bombardment that promotes self-love and happiness alone, many people try to avoid so-called romantic loneliness. Being single does not seem like an option, as it is surrounded by unfavorable myths and other erroneous ideas, such as comparison with others.

On the other hand, factors such as poor conflict management (cutting off the relationship in reaction to a strong argument, for example), emotional codependency or psychological abuse can also be included. Each couple is different and requires a personalized analysis of the situation to generate valid solutions.

The growing anguish of on-and-off relationships

The psychological and emotional processes that occur within a relationship have a strong effect on individual well-being.. Specifically, the breakup is usually accompanied by anguish and feelings of anxiety and depression. This is completely normal, since it is a duel.

However, returning to and leaving a relationship repeatedly means putting one’s own mind in the position of having to live this grief over and over again. A study has already warned that there is a positive and growing correlation between emotional suffering and the number of times the partner has “blinked”.

Those subjects who had broken up with their partner and had reconciled repeatedly reported more distress symptoms over the 15-month period of the study. This stress, in addition to being related to grief, also seemed to be associated with the turbulence of changing roles and customs. that this repeated transition implies.

Intermittent relationships prevent emotional balance in the couple.

What can I do if I am in an on-again, off-again relationship?

You have been with your partner for years, but you don’t know how many of them are really “valid.” That person has come and gone in your life so many times that you no longer have a clue what you want in a relationship. Even so, expelling his figure from your mind and your daily life seems like an impossible step.

If these statements sound familiar to you, you will know that the solution to getting out of intermittent relationships is more complex than the typical “then don’t go back to that person again.” Within this dynamic, factors are involved whose influence must be isolated..

Therefore, it is best that you go to a psychological consultation, especially if you want to end this recycling of the relationship and you feel that you are not capable (or you don’t know where to start). Also, here are some helpful tips to start getting out of the cycle:

Identify unresolved issues that you have with your partner and consider whether it is possible to overcome them.Lean on your friends and loved ones: Their version of your situation will be useful to see yourself from another perspective.Explain to your partner the cycle you are living: It is possible that the other person also feels trapped and you manage to find a definitive solution.Respect your times: Many times, couples make up for not giving themselves the time they need to grieve. Cutting all contact during this period is very necessary to rebuild yourself.

Conquering and cultivating self-respect is a long-distance race. Even so, it is not necessary to run it alone, because along the way you will discover that not only couples are the key to social happiness. Don’t let the endless cycles cloud it.

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