Insecurity and how to overcome it

Insecurity in people can have various origins, but one of its fundamental causes is a lack of self-confidence. We have all felt insecure at some point and in certain contexts. We fear failure, we are distressed by rejection, disapproval by others and exposing ourselves.

This psychological dimension is one of the most recurrent among the population. In fact, insecurity is behind states such as feelings of rejection, loneliness, social anxiety and even low self-esteem. Likewise, among the factors that determine it range from possible childhood traumas to something as simple as poor management of social skills.

Be that as it may, this construct can be reversed. We can all handle ourselves with more temperance to emerge as more confident, competent and valuable people.

If you perceive that you lack strength, drive or temperance in your social relationships, don’t hesitate for a moment: train your security. Smooth the edges of your insecurities and begin to fit in with great solvency in all your contexts.

Personal insecurity: causes and characteristics

Everything that happens in our lives chisels us. It is true that genetics and biology can predispose us to show a more or less confident and assertive character, more or less extroverted.

However, What also definitively marks us are the events that occurred in our past.

Thus, studies such as the one published in the International Journal of Epidemiology, and conducted by Danny Dorling and Dimitros Ballos, explain to us that 40% of our “happiness quotient” is based on recent life events. If what we experience, for example, is a failure, abandonment or deep disappointment, it is common to develop a certain feeling of insecurity.On the other hand, Factors such as social anxiety, the constant anxiety of being evaluated by others, also cause us to develop this dimension. However, in many cases this type of anxiety is also mediated by those life events mentioned above. Thus, an authoritarian, critical and even abusive upbringing and education shapes insecure profiles. Likewise, another explanation that is Behind the insecurity is that which is driven by perfectionism. When we reproach ourselves that we are not good enough for something or someone, what we actually show is a deep insecurity, one that can lead us to more than one psychological disorder.

What are insecure people like?

Insecure people show a whole series of characteristic signs. On average, they tend to be very complacent profiles, who seek the approval of others, in order to perceive a certain security.

Insecure people tend to be defensive and do not accept criticism., because they consider it an attack on themselves, making it difficult to have a constructive conversation with an insecure person. Insecure people who do not know how to manage their insecurity often have a peculiar skill: making others feel insecure and question themselves. about themselves. This is common in those people who They suffer from a superiority complex, as a defense mechanism to cover their own insecurities.Besides, They are people who cannot be silent and they fill it with unnecessary chatter as they feel uncomfortable with their thoughts because they don’t have a very positive opinion of themselves.Interestingly, They tend to be very jokingthey want others to laugh, but at the same time they become too insensitive towards others, making fun of others and themselves, to try to get attention.

A part of them tends to constantly promote themselves. They do it because They need validation from other people.

Insecure people, on the other hand, They are very competitive people, who cannot stand defeat and very easily absorb people in authority. At the same time, they are too authoritarian and compensate for their lack of trust by taking out their frustrations on their subordinates, especially on people who are too docile.

AND in the Couple relationships, Insecure people are often dependent, controlling, jealous and even abusive.since they do not believe they are good enough for the other, so they constantly believe that they will leave them for someone better.

How to overcome insecurity: 10 tips

It was the psychologist Alfred Adler who coined the term “inferiority complex.” With this concept he defined those people who find themselves in the constant need to “fight for their superiority.” They sabotage the feelings of others to make them feel small, as insignificant as they really (but secretly) feel themselves.

If we are aware of that need, of that psychological and behavioral tendency, it is time to shape a change. If you want to overcome insecurity, keep the following tips in mind.

1. Think positive

Change the pole of your thoughts and direct them towards positivity. Little by little, you will discover how this approach allows us to overcome fears, emptiness, anxieties… Be critical of yourself as you are with others, but do not allow that to paralyze you.

2. Identify your strengths and weaknesses

You must be aware that it is impossible to achieve perfection and that we all have strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, a good way to work on insecurity is to know your weaknesses and accept them as part of you. And, to the extent that you can improve them, work on them.

Likewise, recognize your strengths and develop strategies that allow you to create a change, a progress full of temperance and security. This not only It will help you focus on the good that defines you, but it will allow you to use them to enhance your personal growth.

3. Avoid comparing yourself with third parties

Do not compare yourself to anyone, as it only provokes jealousy and enhances your insecurities. Be proud of who you are… You are you, different and special, that’s why You don’t need to take anyone as a reference to feel inferior.

Besides, Remember that no one is perfect, even if social networks make us believe otherwise.. These platforms only show us one side of the coin, a mirage. So avoid idealizing others and focus on yourself and being a better person every day.

3. Share thoughts

Share your negative feelings with your closest friends and family. Don’t repress what you feel and express your insecurities honestly. to those people who really care about you. They can help you feel a little more secure every day, to go with you through those situations or experiences that you need to work on, mature…

4. Stay away from those who hurt you

Many of our insecurities arise in relationships with others.. So try to identify which people make you feel better and which don’t, and stay away from the latter.

Sometimes, Without realizing it, we create links with individuals who do nothing but criticize and devalue us with inappropriate comments and/or mistreatment.. In these cases, it is best to practice assertiveness and set limits.

5. Avoid isolating yourself

Just as we must distance ourselves from those who harm us, it is also important that we foster healthy relationships that help us feel valued and be part of a group. Therefore, surround yourself with those who make you feel good and who truly appreciate you.

6. No to paranoid or meaningless ideas

“If I do this, that will surely happen. “They look at me that way because they’re making fun of me and they think I’m a failure.”.. If you perceive that you have entered this circle of obsessive and paranoid thoughts, it is time to stop that flow. They don’t take you to any good destination, they only limit and diminish you much more.

Pay attention to that speech and put it in your favor, towards the island of the positive, where you can improve yourself and take control.

7. Practice healthy habits

Self-care is a key aspect to feeling better about ourselves and working on self-esteem, as it involves genuine acts of self-love. To do this, we advise you exercise, eat a balanced diet, do activities you enjoy, get a good rest, attend psychotherapy, meditateetc.

These are activities exclusively for you. Remember that insecurity is overcome by focusing on yourself and your own well-being.

8. Celebrate every achievement

Celebrate every success and achievement achieved, no matter how small; and be aware that every step you take brings you closer to your goal. So, you will value what you do and what you are achievinggaining confidence and motivating you to continue in the process without giving up.

9. Accept criticism

Try to assume and accept criticism from a constructive point of view.. Many times and without intending to hurt us, some people make us see where we are failing and what aspects we need to improve.

In these cases, The ideal is that we do not assume everything they tell us as a personal attackbut as an opportunity to learn and grow.

10. Have fun

Finally, Relax and have fun. Learn to disconnect to find yourself. Surround yourself with that internal balance where you can talk to your insecure mind and the fears that live in it. Take steps to get rid of them, to tell them to go away because you need one thing: to be happy, to feel like a secure person, valid for yourself and satisfied with everything you can achieve and are already achieving.

To conclude, remind us that behind an insecure person hides low self-esteem, which must be developed. Well, as we learn to value who we are and what we do, we will have greater self-confidence.

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