I’ll tell you what a 30-year-old woman feels, without a career, husband and children

Hello, my name is Lídia, I am 30 years old and I feel like an old woman. Most people think that 30 is already an old age for a woman. The stage of life in which you must have a husband and, of course, children. If that’s not possible, at least she has a solid professional career. People also say that after 40 it is no longer possible to live a full life. I say with certainty: this is not true🇧🇷 It is possible to enjoy life at any age.

Today, I want to tell you, readers of awesome.clubthe story of my 30s and how I managed to overcome the rules imposed by society.

I remember once I went to an event where a meeting with a famous psychologist would take place. I was the oldest person in the room. The same thing happened at a show and also at a professional training course. On the eve of turning 30, I was quite sad. But what was so sad? I cried 3 days before and 2 weeks after🇧🇷 I cried because I thought my chance had passed. I still didn’t have children, I wasn’t married, I didn’t have a successful career. In general, nothing had been achieved and ‘female retirement’ was approaching. I didn’t celebrate my 30th birthday; I cried for my lost youth.

All my friends were married or with kids (the lucky ones had both). Everyone asked me: “And you, when?”, “Haven’t you been asked to marry me yet?”, and many people made comments about women’s biological clock, which doesn’t stop and doesn’t come back. In addition, one in two said, “Be still, just enjoy your freedom.” But they said it with a certain arrogance, as if to say “You see, I’m married and you, unfortunately, are not.” I started to find the situation super strange.

Some acquaintances built successful careers, many before their 30s. Some started their own companies and I was happy for them. But I always found myself lost in thoughts like: why can’t I do this? But I had never tried. I looked at all these projects, I judged myself and couldn’t understand what I would be when I was older, since ‘retirement’ was approaching.

At the age of 31, for the first time, I went to do a check up🇧🇷 The sad diagnosis of thyroid cancer left me completely devastated. I don’t know if I should thank God or the Universe or whoever, but I was lucky because the disease was caught at an early stage and was of an easier type to treat.

However, as my health was showing signs of deterioration, I concluded that I was reaching the end of the line and, therefore, I could give up. And that’s when I got scared🇧🇷 Not because of the disease, but because of everything around me, because of all the speculations in my head — I knew that the problem had been caused by stress, since no one in my family had had cancer, much less thyroid cancer. Stress and depression had driven me to a hospital bed and acknowledging that was horrible.

After the operation, I stopped to reflect: “why am I thinking about these things and why so much obsession with my age?” What makes me think that career or family is so important right now? I will never be happy if I keep comparing myself to others. Life goes on and she’s not as bad as she looks. I can’t say that after these thoughts everything changed completely, but that reflection made it easier to let go of these imposed ‘dreams’. After all, they weren’t mine.

All these requirements — “you need to have a solid life” and “you need to have children and build a career” — have been imposed by society, whether through the Internet, social networks or education. Good, I don’t have any of that and I don’t care at all about it🇧🇷 I’m not a business woman, I’m not good at sales, Steve Jobs and Elon Musk are not my idols. And I’m not an ‘influencer’, something very fashionable these days. And that’s normal.

I realized that age gives me great advantages. If I had a husband and children, could I have gone to Paris or Prague or the neighboring city for a walk without making any plans? Could I go out in the middle of the night with my friend “because the moon is full and I want to drink wine until daybreak?” Could I change jobs to look for a more interesting one and do what I love?

I could have gotten married at 22, but thank God I didn’t. I could have done it at 27, but thankfully that didn’t work either. At 28, I met someone I see myself with in the future; not because the time has come for me to get married, but because he is the one I was looking for. We are happy and having fun together. I don’t know and I don’t care what will happen with this relationship. I just know that in my future, very interesting things will still come.

Today, I am in my early 30s. I have a beautiful man and a cat. I had never felt that same inner harmony. I know my possibilities and understand almost everything about myself and this life. And I continue to live intensely my desires and my dreams. Would I like to go back to my 23, 25 or 27? God forbid! The start of my perfect fourth decade makes me happy. I know myself, I know my qualities and my flaws. And I live well.

The only thing that embarrasses me is that I have back pain and I don’t feel like walking. What I’m beginning to realize can be a problem is the issue of children. Do I want kids or is this just an echo of the advice I keep listening to? “Is having children a woman’s main achievement?” A psychologist will help me resolve this issue.

Apparently, 30 is not as scary as they say. It’s that age where you understand everything about yourself and know what you want and what you don’t want out of life. Not having a husband and children at that age is not the beginning of the end. It is absolutely normal to be free at any age.

When you reach your fourth decade, wrinkles will appear on your face. But your vision won’t change, your hearing will be the same, and your breasts won’t sag at the navel. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The best years you have to live are now. You are as young, as beautiful and as interesting as you were when you were 24, 25 or 27. Suddenly you are even better.

There is no correct method for living life. And it doesn’t matter what views your friends, relatives or colleagues have imposed on you. After all, a happy life is the one that most closely resembles the one you dreamed of. Only you know how to manage your dreams, your health and your time.

Do you think that there is a right age for everything or that everyone has a time and the individual nature must always be preserved? Share your opinion in the comments.