“I overcame binge eating in just 4 sessions of mindful eating” –

For years, I looked at my favorite dishes and sweets as the greatest enemy. To keep myself safe from danger, I avoided any social interactions involving food – birthdays, weddings, happy hours… I was afraid of starting to eat “just one little brigadeiro” and not being able to stop. He was sure he could lose control at any moment.

And it wasn’t exactly an exaggeration: many times, I really only stopped when I felt tired, with an aching stomach or on the verge of throwing up. It took me a while to understand that I suffered from a Eating disorder and, although I had already sought specialized help, I had not yet discovered a new way of dealing with food when I faced a challenge: trying the mindful eatinga technique that preaches “eating mindfully” and is considered one of the auxiliary strategies in the treatment of eating disorders such as compulsion (which I knew well), the bulimia and anorexia.

I admit that I walked into the office of nutritionist Manoela Figueiredo, from São Paulo, certain that the idea of ​​stopping to listen to my body would never work for me. Stop separating foods as “good” and “bad” and understand that hunger it’s a healthy and involuntary feeling they seemed very distant goals to me for someone who had lived countless frustrated stories with diets – I, for example, lost 10 kilos and became thin, but I continued to see myself as fat. I was wrong. In a month, I returned to eat with pleasure and guilt free everything I love, and for the first time in years of supposedly healthy living, I understood what it is to live in balance.

Session 1: Guilt-free eating

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After so many trips to professionals specialized in slimming, I arrived at the nutritionist’s office already anticipating what would happen: she would tell me to step on the scale, take my measurements and ask if I overdo it with sweets and pasta. Wrong ugly. I didn’t even see an adipometer in the room. We just talked about my eating habits since childhood, favorite foods (which I ended up stipulating as enemies), lifestyle and even about my family structure.

According to Manoela, all of this influences our relationship with food. I had the first insight: I developed the neura of to lose weight after being told years ago that I could be a lot thinner. “You’ve created villains, and even when you think you’re allowing yourself to enjoy a bonbon or French bread, you really aren’t.”

So I left the office with the mission of delighting myself with something that aroused my desire, without guilt or judgments. In addition to writing down, for the next seven days, the feelings that accompanied me at meals, including snacks.

Session 2: Differentiating between physical and emotional hunger

I arrived with my homework done: every time I had hungry, I recorded how I was feeling (sad, calm, anxious…). I did this for a week so that Manoela could help me distinguish the psychological physical hunger and now I have no doubt: every afternoon I devoured a 300 gram bag of cheese bread at a single stroke had nothing to do with physical need, but with trying to assuage the anxiety. And what came next – regret (why didn’t I stop at the second or third roll?) and fault (you failed again!) – made me feel even worse. Today, I sit down and think about it every time before meals – it is an exercise that demands energy and commitment, but ends up becoming an important habit for you to eat only what you need, even on days when emotions are not very in your favor. .

Session 3: Recognize your body’s signals

One migraine strong and persistent (I took two painkillers and nothing improved) accompanied me in the third session. Manoela asked what I would eat to alleviate my discomfort. “Nothing,” I replied. I was nauseous, not hungry, and I couldn’t even think about chewing. She asked again if I wasn’t avoiding something out of fear of feeling guilty. So I closed my eyes and said in a tone of almost confession (and already expecting the scolding): “I would give anything for a refrigerator with ice and lemon (a tactic my mother used to ease my anxiety when I was a child)”.

What I heard next surprised me: “As soon as you leave here, stop by a bakery and have a drink calmly”. I did that and childhood memories began to emerge that brought me a feeling of relief and comfort. “There are certain situations that are beyond our control, but the balance is precisely in how we react to them”, said Manoela. Three or four more sips of soda and the queasiness is gone, as is the idea that some foods are my mortal enemies.

Session 4: Final exercise

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In the two weeks leading up to the fourth and final session (the longest of them all), I had no episodes of compulsion. Even better: I went back to participating (and enjoying it!) in happy hour with friends and family gatherings – events that always involve food and, therefore, that I tried to avoid. This made me arrive at the office radiant and ready for another exercise that aims to work on mental and emotional control.

For that, Manoela asked me to take a snack which I liked a lot. Choose a pot açaí, which I avoided so many times because I thought people would reproach me. The first step was to look at the jar with affection and then smell the açaí to stimulate the taste buds and salivate – only then did I put the cold cream in my mouth. I tasted all the contents little by little, resting the fork on the table between one spoonful and another to ward off the rush. As soon as I finished, Manoela asked me how I was feeling. “Satisfied and happy.” Happy for having managed to establish a positive relationship with food and allow myself to satisfy my cravings in specific situations and with control – all in one month!