I had twins 9 months ago and I don’t understand why everyone is afraid of motherhood

Hello, my name is Polina, and almost 9 months ago I had twins. Throughout my pregnancy I was asked if I was afraid of childbirth. No, it wasn’t the birth I was afraid of, it was what came next. On the one hand, we planned the pregnancy and the twins were a dream, but on the other hand, I constantly heard comments like: “Poor thing, you’re going to suffer so much with them!”, “The first year will be hell”, “You’ll forget what it’s like to sleep ” etc.

Many people who had recently become parents assured me that my life would change dramatically, and not for the better. On the Internet, hundreds of young mothers talk about the difficulties caused by all these changes and admit to missing their childless lives. Hearing and reading all this prepared me psychologically for the challenges of motherhood.

It’s been almost a year and hell hasn’t started yet. Although I still have 100 days to fulfill the expectations of my “well-wishers”. But over the past nine months I’ve realized a few things I wanted to share with readers of awesome.club🇧🇷

If it’s possible to sleep with two babies, then it’s possible with only one. Not right away, but it’s possible. The first month, for some reason, I got out of bed every 3 hours and woke the babies up to feed them. Then they got used to it and started waking me up. Then they started having colic and wouldn’t let the neighbors sleep. A little later, an amazing pediatrician advised to start weaning the babies at night, to improve their digestion and make it easier for me to sleep.

It wasn’t easy, but for 5 months the whole family has been sleeping well. And when a person gets enough sleep, he becomes more productive. I can clean the house, make cheesecakes, take a hot shower, write an article for the awesome.club — anyway, it seems my time has increased!

The question I’ve heard the most over the last nine months is whether it’s complicated having two kids. Honestly, I have nothing to compare it with, but I’m sure it’s easier than with one. Each of my daughters understands that she is not the only one and that mom is not always able to quickly respond to crying and pick her up, especially if I am already busy with her sister. So they have to be calmer. Maybe parents with just one baby should try to treat them like they’re not the only ones.

If after reading the previous paragraph it seemed to you that parents of twins love their children less than those who have only one baby, you are mistaken. Sometimes I think I’ll never have kids again just because it’s physically impossible to love someone like that anymore.

Before, I didn’t consider myself jealous, but now anger arises whenever my baby calms down in her aunt’s arms and not mine, or when my baby starts smiling at a neurologist, when she was crying at the hospital entrance with me. Even my beloved cat starts to annoy me when my daughters want to hold him while I read them a fairy tale. And even when they like “A Lanterna dos Afogados” more than the song I invented about an owl. I get to the point where I’m ready to refuse to go to Paralamas do Sucesso shows. It’s not fair, they should only love me! Well, and dad, of course. Well, and maybe grandparents.

No, I can handle my emotions, I have a great relationship with the neurologist lady and the cat doesn’t know anything about my thoughts. I’m sure most parents feel something similar, but those around them are not aware of it, because…

When I was pregnant I was terrified of certain hysterical mothers for overprotecting their children. After all, I would have to visit all the places where they go: maternity wards, nursery schools, etc. But I didn’t find any overprotective and hysterical hands in these places. There were, indeed, tired mothers who had fallen into reality; women frightened by their children’s illnesses; affectionate young women, but a little careless with their children. But all aware of maternal responsibility. I can’t call any of them a hysterical mother because of their children.

Apparently, uptight and overprotective mothers are something that only exists on the Internet. Of course, among women who have just become mothers, there are some who are even rude in the name of the supposed well-being of their children. But education (or lack thereof) does not depend on being a mother or not. Most of us know how to control ourselves despite hormonal attacks.

Every now and then we see posts on social networks complaining about parents who supposedly cannot control their children in environments such as restaurants and airplanes. But apparently, these people who don’t like children just don’t exist outside of the Internet. Strictly speaking, my pram doesn’t bother anyone, the crying cries don’t provoke rage outbreaks or disapproving looks. People always offer help, hold the door, let you in front and even congratulate you. I also always hear excited and happy exclamations and I confess that I have had to ask people to move away from the stroller.

I honestly don’t realize that in our country there are childhaters, people who hate children.

When I share my findings with acquaintances who already have children, some respond: “It doesn’t matter, wait until they start to…talk, go to kindergarten, to school. That’s where it starts!” But for some reason I don’t believe it will, simply because it hasn’t started yet. So, how about stopping this story of scaring future mothers with this talk that “life changes completely and for the worse?” Or do you have some kind of secret club that doesn’t accept new members?