I feel used by my partner, what can I do?

“I feel used by my partner. I perceive that many of the things he says and does are not entirely sincere and that some kind of selfish interest is hidden behind them. What should he do?” There are many people who have found themselves in this same emotional situation at some point in their lives. Faced with this feeling, the most common thing is to tell ourselves that we should break that relationship immediately.

However, not everyone has that first option in mind. When you love, you leave room for doubts and the possibility that perhaps things will change over time, that it is just a wrong feeling or that everything has an explanation. And so, the weeks, months and even years go by. Because sometimes love is blind and we end up tolerating the intolerable.

It is therefore necessary to adjust our detector a little more against “harmful emotional relationships.” to know how to act before. Extending those bonds in which there are hidden interests and ulterior motives can subject us to situations of clear wear and tear, violation of self-esteem and unhappiness.

What should I do if I feel used by my partner?

Why do people use others? In most cases to achieve certain objectives or satisfy specific needs. Thinking about it overwhelms us, it’s true. Knowing that the person who claims to love us is with us for instrumental and non-affective purposes hurts and violates. However, the truth is that, on average, it is quite difficult to see it at first.

Many of us do not see that whoever shares our life and the other half of the pillow is taking advantage of us. Often, it is our environment that perceives certain things that already alarm them.. It is crucial, first of all, to know how to identify early that we are being used. Tricksters are very skilled at manipulating.

Let’s analyze it in detail.

First of all, identify and clarify what they want

The University of Zagreb (Croatia) has an interesting study that reminds us of something interesting. All behavior manipulator has a goal and within relationships emotional tricks will always be used. Nothing can be as effective as pulling the strings of affection to achieve something. These are the most common strategies.

The person who seeks to use you is always in a hurry. She is the one who will always declare her feelings to you first and also the one who He will propose a life together as soon as possible. Burning stages on the emotional level to achieve what they want as soon as possible is their main objective.Makes use of victimhood. In her eyes everyone has behaved badly with her except you, who are her salvation. Rarely will you know everything about that person. She won’t tell you how much she earns or what her relationship is like with her family. Whoever wants something in return is never sincere in all areas of his life.The manipulator usually shows passive-aggressive behavior. At one moment they appear solicitous or friendly and in a little while they show a certain sullenness, emotional coldness or even aggressiveness.Many of his displays of affection are fake. We must attend to the daily details, the wills, the authentic concerns for us…

For what purpose are they using us?

When we say to ourselves that “I feel used by my partner”a needy person appears in the mind “because”. The reality we are living hurts, but it is also frustrating to know what they are looking for and what they crave from us. Generally, the following situations may occur.

There are people who just want to have someone with them. The need to avoid loneliness is usually the most common.Throwaway relationships. Nowadays, there are many people who are only looking for a recyclable bond, one in which they can enjoy for a certain time without major significance and then jump into a new relationship.Sex and the search for thrills. In fact, one of the reasons why we can feel used is simply because we are someone to have sex with, someone with whom to experience that fleeting passion that seeks nothing more than occasional pleasure without commitments.Economic or material reasons. This is another common and recurring reason among those who establish relationships out of pure interest and not out of affection.

A breakup in time helps us stay whole

When I feel used by my partner, there are no excuses, nor do false hopes make sense. Whoever loves you does not manipulate. Whoever loves you does not exploit you to obtain something in return. Because sincere affection is not about selfishness, it is about sincerity and authenticity and if this is not what we receive, the healthiest and most intelligent thing is to proceed to a breakup.

It is necessary that we assess our situation and proceed to make a decision as soon as possible.. When we do it, it is advisable to express to our partner why we do it. Speaking with assertiveness, courage and conviction about how we feel and what we cannot tolerate is necessary.Let’s avoid falling into the traps of the good manipulator. It is very possible that they will ask us for forgiveness, second chances and promises of change. This rarely happens. Let’s seek the support of friends and family, both before and after that decision.

Time to repair the wound: feeling used leaves consequences

When I feel used by my partner for several months (or even years) my self-esteem can be greatly affected. No one comes out of that situation completely unscathed. Being an instrument for an end hurts and can even distort the vision we have of ourselves. It is common for us to be asked questions like because I? How could I have been so naive?

Faced with these experiences, it is always advisable to grieve, to give ourselves a period of relief., acceptance and needed reconstruction of self-esteem. Healing damaged psychological tissue and regaining hope and trust in people is always essential.

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