I don’t want to have children, but I’m scared of possible future regrets.

For several years now, the choice to have children has been a matter of great thought, partly out of possible remorse and partly out of responsibility. Many people tend toward no, but they The possibility of coming to desire them and finding yourself at an age where it is no longer possible is scary..

However, this insecurity arises from certain issues that are not raised throughout the entire process. Why doesn’t someone want to have children? Is it a natural rejection of motherhood or are external factors not conducive to it? Do social circles have an influence on fearing future regret?

In this space you can find this topic developed. The expectation of regret as opposed to a vital desire is a relevant issue for anyone looking to the future, so don’t miss it.

In most cases, the decision not to have children is considered.

Why wouldn’t someone want to have children?

Years ago, the socioeconomic and family configuration of the Western world established having children as a natural part of the life cycle.. However, more recent generations have questioned it, highlighting some of the advantages enjoyed by those people who have chosen not to have children. Furthermore, as happens when freedom expands in any area, doubts also appear.

Testimonies are common in which the fear of bringing someone into a destroyed world, of transmitting hereditary diseases or even of not being able to support the child in the future is expressed.

In most cases, if only by going against the grain, the decision not to have children is considered. In addition to the ideas presented, in fact, it is possible that some of these reasons sound familiar to you:

The state of your finances does not allow it. You fear that you are not a good parent. The pace of life you lead to survive is not compatible with motherhood. You receive social pressure to have children. The socioeconomic future of the region where you live is uncertain or, directly, ominous. You have political ideas about it, such as the opinion that the human species should not expand any further.

So why do we fear future regret?

Anyone who weighs the reasons given in the previous section would see, from a logical point of view, that someone would not want to have children without feeling remorse. However, this concern is real and arises from several seeds. Some of them are these:

sexist fallacies: two myths that conflict and that, at the same time, coexist are the fallacy that women have an innate tendency to want to be a mother and that they have complete freedom of choice when deciding this issue.Social pressure: From the above arises the pressure attitude of the social circle of some people who claim not to want to have children. When faced with a firm decision that is maintained over time, the first comment that is usually received is “what if later you regret it and you miss the mark?”The idealization of motherhood: the system and, therefore, society, are oriented towards population growth. To do this, the enormous responsibility of having a child must be presented as “the best thing that can happen to you in life.” This sows the seed of doubt, making people believe they could be missing out on something incredible forever.

I am certain that I do not want to have children, but I fear remorse.

If you are here because you are in this situation, it is possible that you want to get rid of that fear, because you recognize it as strange inside your head. To do this, we recommend an exercise of introspection and reflection around the following points.

The decision to have or not have children is yours.

The aspirations you draw on your horizon and the means you decide to use to achieve them belong to you. Your fear of future regret may be fueled by social pressure that wants you to have children.

Fear does not come only from you

The fear of not having children and feeling regret later is not only born from the uncertainty of the future itself, but from many other factors. That’s why, If you want the purest answer possible, ask yourself what you want and not others.

Sometimes different types of fear hide behind the decision not to have children.

There are also people who regret having children.

Although expressing it (and almost thinking about it) is a deeply rooted social taboo, there are also people who decide on motherhood and later regret it, as it is a path with no turning back. That’s why, Rather than asking yourself if you would regret not having children, ask yourself if you would regret having had them.

Value your self-knowledge

If you feel confident about your preference on this issue, it will be for a reason. If you don’t feel like taking care of someone, if you think they are going to be born into a world that is going to mistreat them, or you simply don’t want to form a normative family, it is perfectly valid. You don’t have to change your mind in the future.

What if remorse still comes?

Of course, within the probabilities is deciding not to have children and feeling regret later, after years. This is where emotional responsibility for oneself comes in. In reality, all this is not about ensuring something in the future, since that cannot be controlled.

It consists of making decisions based on one’s own criteria and free, as far as possible, from outside influence. If you come to regret your decision, you should have already assumed this consequence from the beginning.

Therefore, do not hesitate to say out loud something that goes against general opinion, because it is your life and your regrets are yours alone.

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