“I don’t have patience with my children, what can I do?”

Children reveal our limits. Who said motherhood was easy? Laura Gutman responds to an overwhelmed mother who asks her the following question:

I always wanted to be a mother, but with motherhood I have discovered that I am exhausted and in a bad mood with my two and four year old children. I stopped working to be by their side, but I find myself very exhausted and I wonder if it would be better to take them to school and start working.

GO BACK TO WORK YES OR NO

These are very personal questions. To give an answer, we would have to look at the complete reality of this mother. Just because she doesn’t go to work doesn’t mean she has the emotional capacity to bond with the kids. In the same way that going to work is not going to make her more available and more patient to understand what the child needs.

On the other hand, who is going to tell her what she can do? She will have to try. Here the issue is not whether or not to go to work, but to see if she is capable of responding to what the children ask of her, and also if she can ask for help or if she is alone all the time, if she has friends, if she knows other mothers who have small children and can get together, if you have a family with whom you get along, if you have an understanding mother, if you have an understanding mother-in-law, brother or sister-in-law… Sometimes when faced with a difficulty we look out the window. keyhole and we want a specific solution to the interpretation we have of a reality.

BROADEN THE LOOK, THAT IS THE KEY

Here we are interpreting that the way to not be so angry with the children and to have more patience is to go to work, but that may not solve anything. People often have an idea of ​​what we want, but we have no contact or connection with who we are, what happens to us and how we react to difficulties. Then we find ourselves with a conflict that we have not foreseen, because we had an idea that did not fit with our reality.

The theme is to broaden the gaze in the face of all difficulties and try to see how we have also built that reality, instead of asking someone to give us a solution for a specific issue. This is so with children, in all our affective relationships, when we have a conflict at work… And it is that our idea and our fantasy rarely has to do with the reality that we ourselves implement.

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