Humiliation: an attack on our identity

There are many emotions that we can feel intensely. Guilt, anger, sadness and rage are some of them. However, there is one that we have not mentioned and that has such a strong impact that it can destroy us: humiliation.

Humiliation is a negative emotional state that leaves a deep mark on each of us. Feeling that we are worthless, that we are mediocre, that whatever we do we will look ridiculous is a cross that we can carry for a long time.

Humiliation activates brain areas linked to pain

The University of Amsterdam carried out a study in which 46 volunteers participated with the aim of comparing their reactions to different emotional states.. The researchers analyzed the brain waves of the participants while they watched insults and praise on a screen.

The participants were also told various stories in which they had to put themselves in the shoes of the protagonist. This way, they would be able to connect their emotion by putting themselves in their shoes. For example, one of the situations was that they went on a date and as soon as the person they had met saw them, they turned around and left.

The researchers discovered that The feeling of humiliation caused brain activity that was much faster and more intense than joy, more negative than anger, and that in addition, the areas linked to pain were activated.

Although the praise aroused joy, the feeling of humiliation was much more intense than that pleasant emotion. But, the most incredible thing is that it was even observed that it could not compete with anger. The insults made many of the participants angry or upset, however humiliation had a much more negative charge.

The feeling of humiliation is present in our daily lives.

Humiliation is an emotion that is present in everyday life. In fact, many people are not able to communicate except by humiliating others, believing that they are actually doing them good. However, they lack the empathy necessary to convey what they want to say in a more pleasant and subtle way.

An example would be that mother who praises her child’s partner and points him out as a reference in various tasks and behaviors. Unknowingly, she may be disregarding her son’s efforts. If this comparison is made with both children present, the child’s discomfort may be even greater due to the humiliation received.

And it is that Childhood is precisely one of the moments in which we are most vulnerable to humiliation. And not only by other adults, but by the same peers who, through the bullying They denigrate their colleagues. If this abuse is not addressed in time, it is common for the state of humiliation to be replicated in future adult relationships.

For example, In the workplace, humiliating dynamics abound; especially due to the hierarchical divisions and power relations that develop in companies. For its part, in relationships, this emotion is also usually present and appears when one of the members makes fun of the other and makes them feel inferior.

At this point, it is important to highlight that humiliation, being so common in the daily interactions of millions of people, is not usually valued negatively. In fact, many individuals are not even aware of suffering from it.

In all cases, Humiliation is experienced as an unpleasant and intense emotion that usually lasts over time due to the depth of its wound. It affects our self-esteem and somehow makes it very difficult to increase it again.

Faced with humiliation, self-esteem

What can we do about all this? How can we prevent humiliation from leaving a deep mark on us? How can we manage the discomfort that it causes us?

The key is to know ourselves and value ourselves. In not giving more power to the opinions of others than to our own. In knowing who we are and preventing others from defining us. In short, taking care of our self-esteem so that in moments of doubt, we are able to regain confidence in ourselves.

For it, It is very important to take care of our internal language, the way we speak to ourselves. Do we say nice things to ourselves or do we constantly repeat to ourselves “how stupid I am”, “everything goes wrong for me” or “I’m a disaster”?

We have to treat ourselves well, value ourselves and love ourselves. If we are permissive with others, why not be permissive with ourselves. Let us allow ourselves to err, let us not wish to be perfect.

Let’s value ourselves to the point that any humiliating attempt by someone outside is indifferent to us.. Because we can’t stop others from humiliating us, but we can change the way it affects us.

Now that we understand that this is an attack on our identity whose objective is to cause us pain, let’s take action. Let’s start valuing ourselves, not depending so much on external approval and believing in ourselves.

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