How to understand a teenager

It is true that a young man in his teens can feel deeply misunderstood and, at the same time, it can seem very difficult to understand a teenager. But this phase of a child’s growth does not have to be so tragic. In fact, studies carried out in other cultures suggest that The conflict of adolescence is the product of a set of cultural factors.

The psychologist and pedagogue G. Stanley Hall believed that “adolescence is a new birth, since with it more complete and higher human traits are born.””. Again, a quite radical statement, since a stage of the child is equated with an unknown world that opens before him, as if everything were new.

Both from “the street” and from certain intellectual circles adolescence is understood as a period of time in which the person undergoes many changes. Some of them are radical, in a short space of time, and some are subject to great pressure from their peers or family members.

If so, at least in our culture, the question is simple: What can we do to help them at this stage?What is in our hands to integrate the changes in a way that moves away from the traumatic?

Understanding a teenager

Understanding a teenager is not an easy task, as it requires great exercise and effort. on the part of the adults, who observe how that once understandable and close young man now seems surly and distant. A distance that most of the time can mean wanting to experience one’s own life, discovering one’s own limits. They begin to see everything from another perspective. They are already children, In adolescence they begin to form their way of being, to know themselves and the environment that surrounds them.. So in many cases, this means estrangement from parents.

However, There are a series of keys that can help to parents to understand the true needs of the adolescent and the sudden changes that are occurring in their psyche.

Empathy

Empathy is necessary in all facets of life, especially when it comes to understanding a teenager. The ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes and understand their feelings and mental processes is basic..

We have all been teenagers, so it is important to connect with that previous self and analyze what our feelings, thoughts, longings and regrets were. However, be careful! The past can help us, but if we want to understand them We have to see the situation from their current circumstances, not from our past ones.

Let’s not think, for example, that if in our adolescence we did not have the need to have a cell phone, now teenagers should not have one either. We cannot do this, because what society or peers normalize in each of the adolescences, ours and that of the current adolescent, is not the same.

Need for social fit

A teenager begins to live a stage in his life in which he needs greater independence and autonomy. How they are viewed by others or how they fit into their social world is of vital importance to them.

Ignoring or downplaying these facts is a major mistake that an adult should not make.since the young man’s brain and his own life experience have not developed the path to reach that point of understanding.

You must understand that a problem that for you is a speck of dust, for them can be a great stone tower. Act accordingly, use empathy and recognize their suffering, their need for independence and problem solving according to their ability. Give it the importance it has for the boys or they will distance themselves from you.

Rebellion

Many people equate the adolescent stage with rebellion. This is really not so. They simply reach a phase in which they need independence, new horizons and a certain distance from their parents to find their way. If it is not granted to them, they rise up against it.

We must not forget that the young person begins to think in a more rational and abstract way. His body is changing, and with it his brain and his way of seeing the world. They need to assert themselves, to get out of the comfort of parental control and find your own code of ethics.

You have to understand that it is a bad stage to try to impose yourself on the teenager.. It is normal for you to argue, talk about your points of view, wrong or not, and disagree. If we do not accept this as something natural and logical and we do not engage in dialogue, we will never be able to understand children at this age.

I want to understand a teenage boy

If you want to understand a teenager, you have a hard job ahead of you. It is advisable to talk a lot, leave him his private spaceunderstand that he is no longer my “baby” nor the “apple of my eye.”

You also have to be realistic about your goals.provide you with a lot of useful information and be attentive to possible problems such as lack of sleep, excessively drastic changes or signs such as a drop in educational level or a radical change in friends.

Understanding a teenager is only complex if you arrive late. But with the right information and the necessary empathetic and understanding attitude it does not have to be an arduous or frustrating task. We must not forget that we have raised and educated that little one, so putting yourself in his place is easier than it seems.

Hypothetico-deductive abilities and abstract thinking

As pointed out López Sánchez (2015)professor of psychology of sexuality at the University of Salamanca: “From a mental point of view, His hypothetico-deductive and abstract thinking abilities allow him to analyze reality. family, school and social and clearly differentiate between what these institutions are and what they could be” . According to this, adolescents begin to have their own conception of how things should be and this can lead them to distance themselves from what they do not agree with.

As López Sánchez states, The critical capacity that young people acquire can lead them to family, school and social confrontations.. In the words of the professor, “It is a time of disillusionment or idealism, depending on the case, always supported by a critical sense of justice typical of the human capacity to reason.”

Thus, this is a time in which parents must develop, above all, patience and a lot of empathy. Those who had been his little ones are beginning to be themselves. Their mental processes begin to mature and this will lead them to want to dive into a world full of things to discover..

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