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How to know when to distrust someone: 5 keys

Your intuition can help you when it comes to knowing who you can trust and who you can’t. However, there are a series of keys that will help guide you to take into account when to distrust a person.

The years may have given you a sixth sense that works almost like a metal detector. It immediately alerts you to tell you when to distrust someone. It is true that experience is wise and that, In the end, we store good learning to know who it is better to place our friendship or affection on and who it is better to avoid.

However, sometimes that filter fails us and we let the least suitable person cross the doors of our hearts, who leaves everything mixed up and steals from us the most precious thing that human beings can give: trust. Sometimes we experience more than one disappointment, however, in an already chaotic world it is important to continue cultivating meaningful and enriching social ties.

Let’s not give up, because good people exist and stand as our pillars in our daily lives. It is decisive to attend to a series of psychological dynamics that can reveal which personality is not sincere. There are a series of traits, behaviors and dimensions capable of telling us which figure is not appropriate to include in our lives.. We analyze it.

In this life you don’t have to be chronically distrustful. Building enriching ties results in happiness. However, it is advisable to be cautious when it comes to knowing who to place our affection on.

How do you know when to distrust someone? aspects that you must attend to

Nobody wears a sign on their face warning that they are not trustworthy.. What’s more, the person himself is not aware that his friendship, relationship and affection have conditions. Men and women defined by selfishness, that is, by that attitude with which they see social ties as entities from which they can obtain a benefit, usually have a fairly positive view of themselves.

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That makes them come into our lives being completely convincing. They are kind, captivating, easy to deal with almost always and no one could guess that behind those beautiful facades, there are hidden interests and that at the slightest they could betray us.

Therefore, when it comes to knowing when to distrust someone, it is important not to take everything for granted. From there, It is appropriate to keep in mind that sometimes appearances can be deceiving.

These are the keys we should look at.

They talk too much about themselves

We all know those people with a particular taste for talking about a single topic: themselves. It is true that everyone has the right to share with others anecdotes, thoughts, dreams, past and present experiences. However, No one is able to build a meaningful social bond if they do not leave space for whoever is in front of them.

Be suspicious if they don’t ask you how your day went. Distance yourself if they don’t remember the things you explain, if they don’t give importance to your concerns, experiences, emotions. Consider leaving that relationship if you feel that you are nobody at their side and when they make you visible, it is only to ask you for something.

What they say is the opposite of what they do

If you’re wondering how to know when to distrust someone Pay attention to what they say, what values ​​they defend when they talk to you, what they express and what they tell you about themselves. In this society, double-faced personalities abound, that is, those who do the opposite of what they defend.

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They are the ones who sell you their incredible kindness, the ones who explain how much they have done for their friends and family and yet, when push comes to shove, they are never there when you need them.

They love you, they admire you and they need you: but they only know how to ask you for things

Any friendship, like any relationship, is also built through that reciprocity in which giving and receiving in equal parts. There is balance, nothing is missing and every act is nutritious because there is no room for selfishness and blackmail.

However, There are people who only know how to ask, they do it daily and in the most sophisticated ways possible. They use expressions like “you know how much I love you and that’s why I can only do this to you, because you are the person I trust the most.” When these blackmailing dynamics become a constant, it is good to urgently rethink that relationship.

“Trusting everyone is foolish; But not trusting anyone is neurotic clumsiness.”

-Juvenal-

Be careful with those who criticize others excessively

If you’re wondering how to know when to distrust someone, keep the criticism factor in mind. There are people who love to practice this destructive criticism with us as complicity. They tell us what each other does, they objectify co-workers, they explain to us what some of their friends, neighbors and family do.

Studies such as those carried out at the University of Michigan-Dearborn indicate that personalities who use this destructive criticism of others show very poor interpersonal relationships. They are not trustworthy and Most likely, they will also criticize us behind our backs.

How to know when to distrust someone: the importance of valuing how they make us feel

As easy as that. It is always important to evaluate how that person we just met makes us feel. There are those who make us feel at home from the first moment. However, there are other figures with whom everything is up and down. Today they seem close and friendly and tomorrow they show distance. Today they need us and tomorrow they don’t even respond to our messages.

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Consistency in character and that emotional connection that confers calm and not instability is another variable that should be taken into account. Thus, and as it is often said, trust must be earned and that dimension takes time and work.

Let us be prudent, but never give up hope: Good people exist and make life more beautiful when we find them.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Gefen, D., Fresneda, JE, & Larsen, KR (2020). Trust and Distrust as Artifacts of Language: A Latent Semantic Approach to Studying Their Linguistic Correlates. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00561Lewicki, R., McAllister, D., & Bies, R. (1998). Trust and Distrust: New Relationships and Realities. The Academy of Management Review, 23(3), 438-458. doi:10.2307/259288Raver, Jana & Jensen, Jaclyn & Lee, Junghyun & O’Reilly, Jane. (2012). Destructive Criticism Revisited: Appraisals, Task Outcomes, and the Moderating Role of Competitiveness. Applied Psychology. 61. 177-203. 10.1111/j.1464-0597.2011.00462.x.

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