How to know if you’re in love or just affection: 19 signs

Love.

We all want to be loved and we are wanting to find that person to whom we can offer our love.

This four letter word has a huge impact on everyone’s life.

Love is VERY powerful.

When it comes to love, we tend to put precautions aside. We are rash and reckless. Some people even do crazy things just to get a little.

However, in this modern age of dating, people often confuse love with attraction or obsession, even affection.

It could be that you have a special friend for a long time, their relationship was so special that they decided to go to the next level. But deep down you have the existential doubt if what you feel for him is really love or just affection.

Suddenly, you can’t decide if you’re in love or if your brain is just messing with you.

If you’re having the same problem and constantly wondering if you’re really in love, don’t worry, you’re not the only one.

Millions of people know the word love, but not its true meaning.

So how do you know if you really love someone or just care for them?

Well, falling in love generates unique sensations and attitudes. There is no other emotion that achieves what love does, so here I will share what you will feel if you really love him.

19 signs that you are in love and when it is just love

Next we leave you the 19 most revealing signs. These will help you discover your true feelings and differentiate true love from illusion.

1) You recognize their imperfection

While it’s good to focus on the strengths of the people you love rather than their weaknesses, acknowledging their not-so-great traits is also important.

It is normal to see the best things about your partner. Especially in the beginning.

But it becomes something real, when you see how imperfect that being so important to you is and you still love it.

you accept it

You recognize their weaknesses, their flaws, and their imperfections, and yet you still want to stay. In fact, you choose to.

You see your partner for what they really are and not for what you want them to be. And you decide to continue by his side, to learn both in the path of life.

When it’s honey:

When you don’t accept his faults, you get angry and resist who he is. You criticize him and want him to be someone else. You may appreciate it but that’s not love.

2) You respect their freedom

A little jealousy and possessiveness are not bad for a relationship.

However, a high dose can be toxic and even dangerous. Not only for your heart, but also for your overall health.

True love is liberating and not possessive or indifferent.

In the couple there must be 3 parts: the couple, him and you.

Having each one their space is essential, so as not to run out.

Also, it is not the same to talk about your problems with your partner, your family or your friends. Each of their opinions has a different point of view.

This can help you see things you may not be seeing.

It is important to take care of each area of ​​your life, since this will enrich you in various ways.

That the relationship with your partner is based on total mutual trust is a great indication that you love each other.

If they do not achieve this, they can have a very bad time.

If one of you is overly possessive and you don’t fully trust each other, you may want to reevaluate your relationship and think about whether what you have is really love.

When it’s honey:

If you don’t care what he does, you clearly want him but you really don’t care. You really let him off the hook because you’re actually indifferent to spending time with him or being with your friends.

3) You have taken the necessary time

One cannot estimate the time it takes to be in a relationship, to know when it is true love.

But Elsa from the movie Frozen once said: “You can’t marry a man you just met.”

You are most likely right.

True love takes time.

The reality is, you can’t rely on all those chemicals in your brain to tell if you love someone.

There are many people who will tell you that they love you and take it back the next day. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that one falls in love at first sight.

I’m not saying it can’t happen, but you have to be realistic and take a hard look at how you feel about someone you’ve just met.

It’s like buying something you want, only to regret buying it. And end up returning it later.

Unfortunately, love is not that simple.

If you gave yourself the necessary time. You took things easy until you got to know him better, and you still like him, in fact you like him even more, it’s because you’re in love.

When it’s honey:

When you get carried away by the illusion of someone you just met and you think they’re perfect. That is not love, it is an illusion of your mind.

4) You seek to give to your partner before receiving from her

True love is when you focus more on giving to that person you want to make happy than receiving from them.

Some imagine themselves married to someone and having a future with them.

But special attention must be paid to the interaction that exists between them.

Also, to know if it really is love, it is necessary to see things not only from your perspective, but also from your partner’s.

Love is when you consider another person’s needs before your own.

So if you have a long list of things you want from a relationship, instead of things you can give; try to take a step back and start thinking from this new perspective of giving.

If the love of both is sincere, the rest will come alone.

When it’s honey:

You are the center and you don’t feel like giving yourself to him. You love that he’s there for you, but when it’s your turn to give, you turn away. Sorry friend, but you are in the link for convenience.

5) You choose the interior before the exterior

As sad as it may seem, some people focus more on the physical aspects of a person than on their personality.

Loving someone requires you to get to know that person on a deeper, personal level.

Physical things fade away, but the good attitude and good heart remain for life. They can be transformed, but there is a base that will always be there, inside them.

If you only see things on the surface, the foundation of your relationship will be flat as a plate.

Do you know how many amazing things you will be missing?

If you look at the character of your partner instead of just seeing their appearance then it means that you are in love.

Of course, if you like both, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But the person with whom you are going to share the things that are most intimate for you, you must choose for the whole that it is, not just for a part.

The whole is greater than the parts.

When it’s honey:

When he loves it, but mainly because of his appearance. If you say you love someone just because they’re nice to look at, it’s probably attraction, not love.

6) You do not let emotions take over you

Loving someone feels amazing.

You feel emotions that you have never experienced before.

But sometimes, your emotions can win out over what you really think. You start to lose your sense of rationality when making decisions.

And this can bring as a consequence, that you stop being true to yourself.

You stop being yourself and lose yourself in the other.

If you don’t let this happen to you and always use your head next to your heart, then it means that you are truly in love.

Don’t let emotions take over you. It is not easy, but finding balance when making decisions is the best option.

(To learn techniques for dealing with your emotions, check out our best-selling eBook on the art of mindfulness here.)

When it’s honey:

You never feel the need to agree on anything. You do what you want without even looking for a balance so that both of you are happy.

7) You are realistic

There are a plethora of movies and books that portray love in very unrealistic ways. They give false and idealized ideas of love. That famous “pink” world.

Love must be realistic and not utopian.

Because the blow of truth can be very hard. And it can have as a consequence that we may not be able to adapt and move forward in the relationship.

There is no perfect relationship. Even the healthiest relationships face problems and misunderstandings.

A relationship is built every day and there are times when you have to work hard on it.

If your idea of ​​a relationship is far from the limits of reality, think again. Maybe it’s infatuation or just a fantasy.

When it’s honey:

When you ignore the problems and don’t feel like they should work on you. You also have very utopian and unrealistic ideas of what love is, thinking that everything is always perfect and avoiding disagreements.

8) Distance only makes your relationship stronger

Contradictory as it may seem, distance should strengthen mutual love.

Distance allows you to see if you really want that person in your life or just “love” the idea of ​​that person when they are around.

If you and your partner live miles apart and your relationship is still flourishing, it’s a great sign that you’re in love.

This shows that they really want to have each other in their lives despite the circumstances.

You understand that this situation is temporary, since if your relationship really works, at some point you will live together.

But be careful, you must not fall into the illusion. Evaluate your current situation and visualize what your near and distant future will be like. So you don’t find surprises later, and you feel like you’ve wasted your time.

In addition, having a long-distance relationship will allow you to have your independence and a foundation of trust, which will make your love stronger.

(To learn how to make a long-distance relationship work, check out our guide here.)

When it’s honey:

If, after a few days of separating, they lose interest in each other, it’s just affection. Suddenly you feel that you have freed yourself, that it is your chance to go out and flirt with other guys.

When the connection disappears with distance, it’s because it wasn’t there in the first place.

9) You are committed to your relationship

Love should not be sustained only by feeling. Commitment should back you up, for the relationship to really work.

This must come from both parties in a round trip.

There are days when your relationship will lose its spark and you may feel like you have grown apart from each other.

If you feel this way, you should know that it is totally normal and that every relationship goes through bumpy roads.

These are the ones that you have to live and on which you will have to mend and build that love, so that it becomes stronger.

If commitment pushes you to solve problems, you are in love. Thanks to this, your relationship will become stronger and deeper.

Live whatever you have to live with him with intensity, since behind all that is true love.

If you really love someone, you make decisions based on your commitment to that person and not on how they make you feel.

When it’s honey:

You appreciate your partner but you are not willing to compromise or change anything in your life. You care more…