How to know if your partner is a manipulative person

There are toxic people, specialized in emotional blackmail and manipulation, who can end up being very harmful partners. They are experts in using various manipulation strategies to undermine their partner’s self-esteem and subdue them.

The victims of these manipulators can spend years submerged in relationships of domination without realizing that It is about psychological violence. They may even react aggressively if a friend or family member tries to point it out to them.

How are manipulative people?

If you suspect that your partner is exercising psychological violence on you, or someone close to you has suggested it to you, you can check if it fits within these characteristics. These traits, as I have observed in my practice over the years, are often common in these types of manipulative people.

His mood often fluctuates. Some days he loves you very much and others he hates you. These changes do not depend on your behavior, they are random. The objective (even if it is unconscious) of this fickleness is to force you to be aware of him at all times. At the same time, not having time for yourself, you stop paying attention to yourself, you abandon yourself emotionally and perhaps also physically.No matter how hard you try to please him, it’s never enough. Nothing will be perfect. He will always find some small mistake in whatever you do and magnify it until it destroys you psychologically. In this way, you lose their self-esteem. You think yourself clumsy, incapable, expendable.He blames you for everything. Even when he makes an obvious mistake, he always turns it around to make it look like it was your fault or another family member’s fault.It continually crushes you emotionally. Blaming you for everything bad that happens. It can even reach the absurdity of blaming you for the weather conditions. If it rains during a trip, they can blame you for not having looked at the forecasts.He is an extremely jealous person. Regardless of the level of intensity, jealousy is not a sign of love, but rather a desire for control. No relationship based or supported by jealousy is a healthy relationship.He doesn’t let you have friends of the opposite sex. He gets angry if he sees you talking to someone or even forces you to delete your contacts on social networks and stop hanging out with your lifelong friends.controls you. He picks up your phone without warning and checks your conversations. However, he never allows you to look at his. He has it protected under a thousand passwords and gets angry if you touch it.He wants to know where you are and what you are doing at all times. He goes into a rage if he can’t locate you. For his part, he can disappear for hours or days without giving any kind of explanation.He despises you often. He makes fun of your opinions and comments, in public and in private.It does not support you in your goals. Your job is all that matters. Your work or your projects, from his point of view, are mere hobbies. Always underestimate all your achievements of the other person.

Why are you still at the side of an emotional blackmailer?

Manipulators fail to use their weapons against everyone. They exercise their control over people who have their self-esteem touched, who grew up without emotional support and thinking that repression equaled love. It is more common to fall into the networks of this type of person if:

You receive a restrictive education. A disruptive childhood dominated by repression, threats, psychological and/or physical violence, and punishment leaves many boys and girls, for life, completely unprotected and incapable of noticing or defending themselves against other people’s abuse.In case of suffering contempt during childhood. If, during their childhood, a child does not receive samples of what love and respect really means, these little ones end up dragging this enormous (and dangerous) deficiency until their adulthood. As adults, these people may end up sharing their lives with toxic partners.

When you suffer abuse during childhood. After having been subjected to years of mistreatment, some of these children, in addition to being unable to protest and defend themselves, grow up with a distorted concept of what love means. From an early age they were forced to obey and submit to harsh and punishing parents whose only contact with their children was through violence and aggression. By being treated in this way only by their primary attachment figures, these people internalize the misconception that love is expressed through control and repression.

A manipulator takes advantage of this weakness to gain more and more emotional ground for his victim. until it is completely cancelled. What is recommended, if you recognize yourself in this situation, is that you seek professional help to work and strengthen your self-esteem and, in this way, be able to free yourself from this harmful partner.