How to improve self-esteem?

The way I communicate with myself is a key factor in improving my self-esteem. If my internal dialogue is based on constant self-criticism, my self-esteem will suffer. Let’s think, if I criticize someone with phrases like “you can’t do it”, “you’re good for nothing”, “you’re worthless”… how is that person going to feel? How will we feel?

Improving self-esteem is a purpose that we could all adopt as our own: as we grow, we build our identity and strengthen our self-concept. This process of self-knowledge and personal growth becomes essential to relate in a healthier way with the world around us and with ourselves.

Self-esteem is closely associated with self-concept. Self-concept refers to the beliefs that people have about themselves. Self-esteem would be the emotional echo of self-concept: how we feel about the image we have of ourselves. Thus, self-concept and self-esteem are related concepts that feed off each other.

What happens when self-esteem and self-concept are so low that it affects our lives? Specifically, what could we do to improve self-esteem? Below we briefly explain some ways to enhance it if it is damaged.

Improve self-esteem through self-care

The way you take care of yourself is a consequence and seat, at the same time, of your self-esteem.. We are able to apply it to others: by taking good care of others we can make them feel better. Well, we also follow this maxim, although sometimes we forget.

Therefore, you could begin to improve self-esteem by making more realistic judgments about your achievements or about your real responsibility for certain mistakes or not achieved objectives. It is also important to take into account: What do I want? What do I need? How can I dedicate time to myself?

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Identify your strengths

To improve self-esteem you need to lean on your strengths. Let’s remember that we all have bases or peaks of ability in our profile on which we can greatly enhance our performance.

Your achievements can give you clues about these strengths.. Ask yourself: what strengths do I have? What are my strengths and my successes? What is good about me? Look for honest answers, otherwise they won’t help you.

Change your internal dialogue

The way you communicate with yourself is a key factor in improving self-esteem. If your internal dialogue is based on constant negative criticism, self-censorship or punishmentself-esteem will be one of the first to pay the consequences.

Let’s think. If I criticize someone with phrases like “you can’t do it”, “you’re good for nothing”, “you’re worthless”… how is that person going to feel? The same thing happens if we say those words to ourselves, we become our own worst enemy.

In a way that internal dialogue is irrational, interpreting any situation in the worst possible way, even when the evidence supporting the conclusion is very weak. Faced with these negative thoughts, it is important:

Identify them: What is my internal dialogue like? What emotions does it provoke in me? Is what I tell myself really real or is it irrational? Get started strategies that undermine their power.

One way to start introducing changes in internal communication could be through questions such as: what would you say to a friend? What words of encouragement would you say to someone you love? Use those answers to promote a more positive internal language.

Accept and forgive yourself

Sometimes we all have a hard time accepting parts of ourselves, how we feel and how we are. A resistance that can damage self-esteem: by not forgiving and accepting ourselves, we may be sponsoring our own psychological tormentor: guilt, which always places us at a lower level.

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In this sense, Kristin Neff in her study at the University of Texas on self-esteem states that If you are able to treat yourself with greater kindness and self-compassion, you could increase your self-esteem in a healthier way..

Therefore, if you want to improve self-esteem you need to forgive and accept that you are human and make mistakes, and you don’t have to beat yourself up for it.

Try treating yourself with the same love and respect with which you would treat a person you love, giving yourself support and being understanding with you, instead of constantly criticizing and judging yourself. Stop punishing yourself every time you make a mistake.

To conclude, an obstacle to improving self-esteem is setting high and difficult-to-achieve goals; those that only manage to generate frustration, also serving, of course, to maintain a negative self-concept.

Thus, It is important to combine different goals in our planner: challenges that help us grow, but also small goals with which we can ensure reinforcement in case a streak comes in which the big objectives are resisted.