How to develop emotional responsibility in a relationship

Responsibility on the emotional level derives from pillars of a relationship, such as dialogue, respect, empathy, care or affection. In this article we will show you what emotional responsibility entails, that way, it will be easier for you to develop and establish healthy and honest bonds.

Before delving into the concept of emotional responsibility, Think about how you expect and want people to treat you in the different relationships you participate in in your life.; It can be in a relationship, in a friendship and even in the family.

Emotional responsibility is a requirement for a healthy relationship. Each of us has to be aware of how we feel about the actions of the other, and at the same time be able to communicate it in an assertive way. Only in this way can we enjoy a healthy relationship based on communication and respect.

What is emotional responsibility?

Affective responsibility is a way of understanding interpersonal relationships that It is based on the care of the feelings and emotions that arise in the bonding framework. According to Wojtyla, it is about being emotionally aware of the impact of our actions on others. Only by being emotionally responsible can we create lasting and, of course, healthy bonds.

Therefore, emotional responsibility is characterized by:

Communicate or express our expectations and feelings about the relationship.Set limitsmutually, with the intention of maintaining respect between both.Take care of each other.Grasp the weight of our actions and how they affect the lives of others.Maintain good communication, especially if we are going to discuss a topic that bothers us.

Emotional responsibility is being clear, respectful and empathetic with what the other person may feel.

It’s not?

Now, emotional responsibility is not:

Invalidate emotions of the other person and prevent them from expressing them. Go beyond the limits, not be clear or breach previously established agreements. Have behaviors that lead the other to get excited with possibilities, when we have no intention of getting involved. Believing that the other person must guess what we feelwe need or we think.Keep relevant information hiddenrelated to our feelings.

Although our way of fulfilling emotional responsibility is not something that evolves from one day to the next, along the way we tend to learn and improve. In any case, the investments we can make in this area are usually very worthwhile.

Repercussions on couple relationships

Perhaps understanding everything that this concept implies is easier in the context of a relationship situation, however, it is also valid for family, work or friendship relationships. In essence, when asking ourselves what emotional responsibility is in the relationship between a couple, we have to understand some fundamental aspects:

Understand that a relationship goes beyond oneself: Leaving selfishness aside and being empathetic is essential. There is another person involved, with his or her virtues and defects, so you must learn to deal, in the best possible way, with what it means to share with another being.All relationships have conflicts: We all have the right to make mistakes. But something essential that you must understand is that, being emotionally responsible, you must take responsibility for your actions, be able to ask for forgiveness and also forgive others. Although this cycle should not be endless, since if so, you could be dealing with what we know as toxic people.Take charge of emotions: basically it is understanding that you cannot blame others for what you feel. You have to understand where those feelings come from and what they want to tell you.

Responsible practices on the emotional level

Now that we know what emotional responsibility is, we must put it into practice – understanding is a requirement, but it is practice that really improves the health of the relationship. Therefore, we say that in a relationship there is emotional responsibility when there is:

Assertive communication: Nowadays, it is difficult to express what we want, what bothers us, what we feel, among many other aspects; However, speaking directly, clearly and honestly, is the solution to prevent and overcome conflicts.Agreements that satisfy everyone: the best way to overcome problems and conflicts. In the case of emotional responsibility in a relationship, one way to apply it is by establishing what is allowed and what is not through dialogue.Anticipation of complications: It involves committing to people and understanding that, inevitably, there will be difficult moments and that does not mean we are going to disappear.Clear and honest communication: It is important to lay the foundations to express ourselves comfortably.Boundaries: Limits in interpersonal relationships are essential for healthy emotional exercise and reciprocity. The absence of these will lead to problems of different kinds.Mutual care: take care of others, especially oneself.Validations: The exercise of validation is also central when we seek to be responsible on an emotional level.Honesty: Deception is a broad-spectrum behavior, but it deceives both those who hide their emotions when they claim to express them and those who seek to cause an emotion in the other without intending to reciprocate it.

Non-emotionally responsible practices

Some non-emotionally responsible practices are the following:

Breaking previous agreements. Jumping over limits. Breaking communication.Ghosting.Gaslighting or other manipulations.

And, what do I do if I detect a lack of emotional responsibility on the part of my partner? You can tell him; Perhaps he is not aware or has not developed that ability, but always keep in mind that we cannot change others; Only they can decide and do it.

If connecting with that person continues to hurt you, remember to respect yourself, because you deserve a relationship based on mutual love.

Practice effective negotiation

If we think about it better, emotional responsibility is very similar to a negotiation process, in which, through communication, a beneficial agreement is reached for those involved. With all this, we intend to emphasize how important it is to maintain communication in different types of relationships.

Definitely, Dialogue is the best way to know what another person needs and communicate it. In order to put emotional responsibility into practice, it is necessary to work on assertiveness: only then can we say what we want, what bothers us, what we feel, among other things, in a clear, honest and direct way.

Coherence in the couple’s bond

The objective sought by emotional responsibility is build more enriching bonds for those who constitute them. Therefore, it implies not making the other person suffer and accepting the consequences derived from our way of thinking and acting. Likewise, maintain coherence between our thoughts, our emotions, words and actions, since we can cause unnecessary harm to the other person if we fill them with doubts or make them feel confused.

In short, emotional responsibility does not imply acting perfectly, because it is impossible. It is about acting and speaking with empathy and respect, to establish agreements (through dialogue), respecting the other, and, in case of making a mistake and causing a conflict, being responsible and assuming the consequences.

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