How to broach difficult topics with your kids without losing authority

Between the ages of 3 and 6, children begin to be interested in issues related to human existence. Love, death, money: it even seems that these little philosophers are more concerned with these questions than their parents. Some questions may seem too frank, capable of even making parents blush. However, answering them is extremely important. After all, when facing events related to the birth of a sibling, the death of a pet or the divorce of parents, the child feels confused. This is when adults must act to dispel fears and clarify all doubts.

In this post, the incredible.club tells how to best approach complex issues in a way that doesn’t get boring or need to resort to lecturing.

With the onset of adolescence, what parents think is not so important for children. And no matter how many times you tell your child that he is beautiful, it will not work. Most likely, offensive comments related to his appearance by a classmate weigh more heavily on him. For a teenager, it is of the first order to belong to a group of like-minded people. Therefore, rejection from peers becomes a real tragedy.

Under no circumstances say “Pay no attention”. This is an answer that seems indifferent. Emphasizes the subjectivity of the perception of what offends. In the end, it’s your personal opinion. You can express your ideas about the possible causes of such behavior in the bully: maybe he or she does not feel confident or wants to stand out among classmates.

Make sure you work together to find solutions to this situation. Maybe it’s worth looking for new friends in other circles, and not wasting so much energy on destructive friendships. Remember: only parents can encourage self-respect and a sense of kindness in their children, instilling in them self-confidence and helping to develop defense mechanisms against possible abuse.

Surprisingly, broaching economic issues with children can be just as difficult for parents as talking about sex life. According to a study, 69% of families avoid talking about their finances with the little ones, but this has no practical effects. The fact that you don’t talk to your children about the budget and other economic resources does not mean that they are not interested in the subject. Perhaps you yourself have closed yourself off from the subject once and for all, uttering the typical phrase “It’s none of your business”. In fact, parents have the opportunity to teach the child how to handle money issues properly, explain the value of work and address the need to properly invest saved money.

Give the child the opportunity to have their own savings. This will teach you how to handle money on your own.

Help the little ones increase the contents of the piggy bank. For younger children, you can do this by rewarding them for homework. As for teenagers, this can be done with some kind of part-time job.

Teach your children that money is not a cure-all. He is but an instrument through which prosperity can be achieved.

When your child asks, “Mom, who do you love most: me, or daddy/brother/sister,” he doesn’t expect an answer like, “I love them all equally.” In her book Siblings Without Rivalry, authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish argue that, by nature, children are selfish, wanting parents to talk about the uniqueness and feelings they have for them. And equality between relationships belittles this importance.

It is important to explain that the love between parents is totally different from the love felt by children. And this should not be seen as a threat to the child, but rather the opposite: as a guarantee of a long and happy life in the family.

The world of children can be very cruel. Cases are not uncommon when conflicts are resolved with the help of force: it is much easier to hit the offender than to resolve the dispute peacefully. This happens because children still do not have established social mechanisms, since communication is a tool that develops throughout life. Parents with common sense teach their children not to fight, not to offend or humiliate people. But then the child may ask the question: “Why can’t I hit someone who offends me, while others, without thinking twice, solve the same situation with the use of force?”

Explain to the child that strength-based methods reveal an inner weakness, but that it is possible to fight back against bullies. Psychologists cite some ways in which a conflict can be resolved: ignoring it, clearly expressing displeasure (“I don’t like this, stop”), and finally turning to adults.

It’s sad, but the number of families in which the child is raised by only one parent is growing every year. According to the US Bureau of Statistics, nearly 30% of children grow up in single-parent families, and most of them are headed by a single mother. And, in Brazil, around 40% of households are headed by women, according to the Institute of Applied Economic Research (IPEA), which states that, “in most of these families, they do not have spouses to help raise the children.”

Obviously, the “Why don’t I have a father?” it will come from the child sooner or later. Psychologists claim that there are no unequivocally wrong answers. Yes, you can tell the little one that his dad is the captain of a ship lost in the ocean and rescuing animals. All to create a heroic image.

Some parents prefer to demonize the image of the missing person. But all these options undoubtedly have major drawbacks. The only way out of this situation is to tell everything honestly. Of course, nobody said it would be easy. But there is no need to dwell on exhaustive details either. In a way that is appropriate for the child, explain what happened. Regardless of age and family composition, the little one should know that he is loved. Remember: your children depend on you, and the task of creating favorable psychological conditions always falls to the parents.

With the birth of a brother or sister, almost every child begins to wonder whether they will receive less love and attention from their parents. This ends up making the little one doubt himself, which can even lead to aggressive behavior. It is true that psychologists affirm that the manifestation of this aggression is positive, since with it, the parents will be able to know about the existence of the problem. But how to solve it?

You should not feel guilty towards older children after deciding to become a parent again. Surprisingly, remorse over the fact that the firstborn now has less parental time keeps most adults awake at night. Therefore, it is necessary to maintain the child’s self-confidence by any means: praising his achievements and achievements, as well as spending more time with him. Frequently ask your child what you can do to help. This will allow the child to feel part of the team, noticing his own participation in the common cause.

The death of a pet is a real tragedy for the whole family, especially for children. Most parents avoid issues related to life and death because they are afraid of frightening the child. Therefore, stories arise that the hamster decided to move to another city, or that the dog ran away to live in nature. But children don’t need that kind of “protection.” On the contrary, they demand simple and understandable answers. Allow your child to say goodbye to the pet, express the pain he feels and talk about what happened.

Talking to children about the intimate side of life is perhaps a sensitive issue for any parent. The times when little ones believed that children “were brought by a stork” are long gone, and the Internet is always ready to give as much information as possible on any topic. However, stop for a second and ask yourself: “Do you really want your child to learn such important things through social media or friends?” Probably not.

Psychologists recommend leaving shyness aside, because the fact that your child brings these intimate concerns to you reveals that trust reigns in the family.

Be sincere, but avoid long speeches: a three-hour talk about the reproductive system is unlikely to interest your child.

Have your children ever asked difficult questions? How did you respond to them? Leave your comment!