How to act when a man reappears: 12 keys that will help you

Turns out you’ve met a great guy and things seem to be going really well.

But suddenly, he disappears out of nowhere.

And as if that were not enough, it reappears weeks later without any explanation.

This can be really frustrating and confusing.

Confused, because if things seem to be going in the right direction, you don’t understand why the earth is swallowing him for no reason.

And frustrating, because he may have already told you how much he’s starting to like you. She has also mentioned her intention of wanting to introduce you to her friends. Maybe he talked about some future plan, like a getaway to a dream place.

But then poof, it disappears.

And you are left wondering what happened. And there is no one there to give you an answer.

You even get to think about what you could have done wrong.

The reality is that, although it sounds trite, it is not about you, but about him.

Maybe you are not ready for a committed relationship. Maybe they hurt him too much and he doesn’t know what to do.

Then it reappears…

And now you’re the one who doesn’t know what to do.

Relax, you are not the only one who has gone through this situation. There are many of us who have experienced it.

That is why I want to give you some tips, those that really help you deal with this mysterious man and his hidden intentions. Don’t be discouraged.

What to do when a guy reappears after disappearing

1) The best is to put your feet on the ground first

It’s gone, you feel like you’ve accepted it, and you’re ready to move on.

Suddenly, “cling”, that text that you had been waiting for so much appears. Your heart skips a beat and you think: He’s back! He wants me!

But after this moment, it’s a good idea to stay calm and grounded.

If your head is spinning, you don’t know what to think of him and what to do, don’t send a reply yet.

Take the time you need to focus.

2) Think carefully about what you really want

Once you’re centered and calm, take a moment to ask yourself how you feel about the situation and about him.

Does this man really fit your idea of ​​an emotionally mature man? What are the chances of him doing this again? Does this guy have the capacity to form a stable, healthy and lasting relationship? Is it really worth your time?

Sorry to say, but 95% of the time, it’s not worth it.

After you have honestly answered these questions, you can decide several things.

You can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt and try again.

You may decide that you want to meet someone who suits your idea of ​​a relationship better. But you still want to have some kind of closure with him.

Or you can choose to ignore it entirely.

3) Communicate with confidence

You’ve decided you want to reply to the text.

So, it is important to do it in a calm and positive, but very assertive way.

Also, try to avoid responses that are humorous or cheeky. He could interpret them as passive-aggressive.

Also, they almost never arrive the way you intend. Remember that men are very literal, hints are useless here.

Whatever your end game, remember that you will catch more flies with honey.

This does not mean that you stop being honest with what you want him to understand.

4) Do not act as if nothing happened

I know a lot of women who are afraid to ask big questions or let a man know how they feel.

They worry that if they do, he will leave again.

I’ve even heard some dating consultants recommend that if you like the guy, act like “nothing happened.” Otherwise, you will only create drama and drive him away.

The truth is that this is not the best way to act.

Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of honesty, trust, communication, authenticity, and integrity.

Acting as if nothing happened, as if it didn’t hurt, is not good for a healthy relationship.

Unusual situations, which might arise on first dates, are the perfect way to rehearse healthy relationship habits. Which, in this case, sets limits and communication standards.

Yes, these conversations can be challenging or difficult for you. However, healthy communication is a skill that gets easier with practice.

Once you learn, you will be able to communicate better, in a way that is mutually agreeable.

Are you still afraid to drive him away?

Think of it this way, if you communicate with complete integrity and that guy disappears again, the truth is, he was never going to stay in the first place.

So you really have nothing to lose…

5) What to say, if you want to know why it disappeared

Desiring closure or feeling like you deserve some sort of explanation as to why it disappeared is perfectly normal.

If this is your case, the best thing is a phone call. Generally, text messages are confusing.

Also, many times it can happen that we later regret what we wrote.

Unfortunately, we cannot delete it, if he has already read it.

Additionally, it could only serve to confuse you further and things could unexpectedly get worse.

Keep in mind, that the close option is never as satisfying as one thinks it can be.

Especially, if somewhere in your being, you secretly hope that everything is just a mistake. May he be full of regret and may he really love you after all.

Let’s say he has sent you a text message with “Hello” or “How are you?”

You can reply: “Hi, I’m fine, thanks. I haven’t heard from you in a while, what have you been up to? … ”

This is polite, but assertive. You give him to understand, that you are not going to pretend that he has disappeared.

Additionally, with this message you give him an easy opportunity to let you know where he’s been.

Then, when you feel that you have received the answer you were looking for, kindly let him know, that you will not give him another chance.

6) What to say if it disappears, then reappears and you want to give it another chance

Have you asked the questions in point 2 and have you decided that you are willing to give it a try?

So, we give you some ideas with the steps that you can follow next.

Step 1

Usually in these situations, he sends you something like… “What’s up?” or “How are you?”

Your response can be, for example: “Hello! I’m fine, having a great week.”

It is best that you do not ask any questions at this time, just wait for their response.

Step 2

When he answers, he will surely ask you another question. Then you will answer him asking him to call you on the phone.

Don’t keep texting him. At this point, it’s very important that you don’t have a lengthy text message exchange with him.

I know many people don’t want to talk on the phone, but don’t worry. Aside from the option of meeting in person, this is absolutely the best way to gauge your sincerity and get a handle on the situation.

Example:

Him: “What are you going to do this weekend?”

You: “Great question, why don’t you give me a call and I’ll be happy to answer :)”

Once you’re on the phone call, have clear and honest communication, setting boundaries with him. Be friendly, but direct and assertive.

You on the phone: “The last time we were together I had a great time. I really enjoyed spending time with you, but then you disappeared. I find communication in a relationship very important, and I find it really confusing, when someone disappears and then reappears. I’m just curious what happened to you.”

Then let him respond and pay close attention to what he says:

Is he respectful and is he sorry? Does he offer you a sincere apology? Do you take 100% responsibility for your actions? Do you have a legitimate excuse, such as a death in the family?

Because honestly, there are very few justified reasons why a guy can’t take 30 seconds to text you.

Otherwise, if he answers something like:

“I was very busy with my work” “I was on vacation and I’m getting back into my routine” “I just saw your text message”.

He either gets defensive or minimizes his disappearance or your feelings.

So, I strongly recommend that you use your intuition to check your relationship with him.

How do you feel when he talks to you?

Is everything going well or do you have the feeling that he is lying or deceiving you in some way?

Be honest with yourself about him and whether he really deserves another chance.

7) When to see him again? If you decide to give it another chance

Do not cancel anything you already have planned to give it a new place in your life.

Don’t make him a priority, when he didn’t do it with you.

Arrange an appointment, when it is more convenient for you.

Now he must understand that you will not stop the world to see him. He lost that place, when he disappeared and reappeared.

Seeing your friends, walking your dog and filing your nails are now more important than going out with him.

It’s time for him to earn a place in your heart again.

If he doesn’t put in the effort, then he isn’t interested enough in you and you will surely find someone better.

But also be careful not to overdo this, because if you really want to try, he might eventually walk away.

8) When you finally see him, do not focus on his disappearance

In his meeting do not mention, because it is that he disappeared.

Maybe he will and apologize to you. That’s fine, he accepts his apology and changes the subject.

But if he doesn’t, don’t worry too much about it.

Remember that you are still in the beginning of a relationship and you still don’t know much about him.

The best thing you can do on this date is try to have the best time possible. After all, you already decided to give it another chance, right?

Focus on getting to know him better and see if what happened was just an exception. These things can also happen.

9) When it disappears and reappears, let it go

You may not want to hear this, but in my experience, letting it go without any explanation is usually the best option.

Men who disappear and reappear rarely give you the closure you need when you want to turn the page.

In reality, you will never really know why, and in a way, it may turn out to be the best alternative.

Because any way you look at it, feeling rejected just doesn’t feel right at all. It doesn’t matter what the reason is.

Ignore it, delete it and move on with your life. Let go.

There can be a million excuses why he disappeared and then came back. But probably none justifies that it’s right for you.

It’s okay to say no to what you don’t want so you can say yes to what you do want.

10) Remember to act honoring and respecting yourself

In this way you will get the love that is right for you.

The man you currently like or think you need is not your priority.

Focus only on the type of relationship you deeply want and deserve.

Also, when he disappears, try not to be dramatic and make up stories about…