How do I know if I am a manipulable person?

“How do I know if I am a manipulable person?” If you have ever asked yourself this, you will be interested to discover that it is a question that many people ask themselves. They do it when they are tired of dragging on failed relationships, relationships that hurt and in which they feel exploited. They are, without a doubt, harmful experiences that undermine the state of mind.

The factors that mediate this reality are almost always low self-esteem and insecurity. Despite this, it is advisable that you remember something. If someone hurts you, the problem is not always with you, but with the person who causes you suffering with their evil ways. Despite this, it is appropriate to have defensive strategies. We give you the signs below.

Keys to know if I am a manipulable person

Manipulation is a type of coercion that seeks to modify your attitudes, emotions and behaviors to obtain a benefit from you. And, indeed, such a trick leaves consequences. Therefore, it is common for many people to go to psychological therapy because of a malicious bond with a partner, co-worker, or even a false friend.

Likewise, it is common for those who practice this practice to always try to gain your trust. From that moment on, he will act in a Machiavellian way to detect your weaknesses and control you. We know that this is disturbing and that these are experiences that you do not want to repeat. But to defend yourself, it will help you first know if you are a manipulable person. We explain it to you.

1. You tend to please others

The magazine Health Psychology Research conducted an investigation into one of the most common types of manipulation that exists: emotional blackmail. In this case, it was discovered that this factor made it difficult for university students to adjust to the academic environment. Well, if you’re wondering what variable tends to appear among those who are most vulnerable to this dynamic, it’s complacency.

Do an introspection exercise and ask yourself if you are a person who needs to please others. Behind this dimension usually hides the fear of rejection, abandonment and the fear of not being liked. It is always appropriate to value these elements, because by doing so you discover which areas of your personality would be appropriate to work on to feel better.

2. You find it difficult to say no and confront

If you’re wondering how to know if I’m a manipulable person, see if it’s hard for you to say no. For example, do you give in when a friend proposes a plan, even if you don’t feel like it? Is it difficult for you to say no to that family member who always asks for favors? Do you have problems confronting your partner when he or she violates your rights?

The difficulty in setting limits on what you don’t want, what you don’t like, or what bothers you, is due to your fear of offending. You worry that, with that assertive and clear “no”, the other person will feel hurt. However, think about it, in these contexts, the one who often loses is you.

3. The effects of low self-esteem

Typically, the core trigger for your vulnerability to manipulation is low self-esteem. Current Psychology reports that problems in relationships and perceived insecurity respond to this factor. In some way, all your links can be conditioned by this dimension.

The absence of this psychological variable is detected when it is difficult for you to be yourself in interpersonal relationships. Also, when you feel that you are not worthy of that person you love. That negative self-perception gives the other party power to have control over you. The good news is that this construct is like a muscle that you can strengthen again.

4. You are an insecure person

“What if I make a mistake in this decision?” “What if I hurt this person by doing this or that?” “I don’t dare take this step, because I will surely be exposed to everyone.” Personal insecurity is like walking a tightrope and fearing that you are going to fall at any moment.. This fear makes you constantly need the support of others.

Although there are always figures you can lean on, Sometimes, people arise who take advantage of your lack of decision and security, in order to manipulate you and use you. Knowing it and realizing it is the first step to change.

If you feel like you have no choice but to stay in your current relationships, even if they hurt you, it is a sure sign that you are a manipulable person. However, remember, becoming aware of this will always allow you to take responsibility for yourself to adopt new strategies. Those with which to prevent them from controlling you.

5. You avoid conflicts

It’s true, nobody likes problems and confrontations. But these dynamics are part of life and your social relationships. However, If you avoid conflict at all times, it is very likely that you will find it difficult to resist the pressure of a textbook manipulator. This is a variable that, without a doubt, should be taken into account to know if you are a manipulable person.

This tendency towards inhibition in conflict dynamics is usually due, as they point out in New Ideas in Psychology, to personality and even neurological factors. There are those who feel more motivated to confront confrontation and, then, there are those who feel threatened by it. In any case, they are situations that you can handle by learning new tools.

6. Problems setting clear limits

If you’re wondering how to know if I’m a manipulable person, focus on your ability to set limits. Do you think it is effective? It is possible that, in your environment, certain people treat you inconsiderately and you do not know how to stop them. No one can deny that such a task is costly, but we assure you that applying it safeguards your mental well-being.

Psychologists like Tomás Navarro have very interesting books that offer strategies in this regard. His work, Your red lines: learn to set limits, take care of yourself and protect yourself emotionally (2023), is an example of this. Enabling yourself in this task will keep you away from presences with manipulative tendencies.

7. Lack of knowledge about manipulation tactics

Indeed, If you are not familiar with manipulation strategies or do not recognize the signs, you may not be able to protect yourself. correctly. This is a subject that one learns in every disappointment, in every painful experience and in different contexts. If you need to know these indicators, we present the most common ones:

Manipulators isolate you socially. They will manipulate your emotions and feelings. Constant threats and coercion appear. Little by little, lies and criticism arise. Sometimes, they stop talking to you as a form of punishment. They usually compare you with others to belittle you. They make big promises that they rarely keep. At first they flatter you and validate you with endless compliments. They practice in gaslightingthat is, they make you doubt yourself.

Recommendations to protect you from manipulation

The unfortunate thing about manipulation is that it develops among your closest relationships. Sometimes, almost without realizing it, power bonds are established in which you end up losing or are the most vulnerable figure. But this dynamic can change. To this end, we provide you with a series of recommendations that protect you from the present reality:

Don’t give in to what you don’t want: If you feel compelled to do something that goes against your wishes, principles or well-being, take the time to evaluate the situation and remember to protect your dignity.Connect with what you feel and react: the moment you feel that something is not going well in a relationship, act. If you notice pressure, anxiety, or even fear, pay attention to those feelings and don’t ignore them.Estimate your independence and autonomy: You have the right to decide for yourself, to protect your self-esteem within any relationship. Don’t let someone make you feel incapable of making decisions or believe that you are worthless.Know your values ​​and priorities: Clarify what is most important to you in a relationship and what lines should not be crossed. The clearer you are about these aspects, the easier it will be to recognize manipulative behaviors that may conflict with your principles.Strengthen your self-esteem: This psychological construct is not stable, certain situations and relationships can weaken it. Therefore, start new practices that allow you to validate and empower yourself as a person. As soon as you remember your worth, you will dare to stand up to the manipulators.Boost your assertiveness: Social and Personality Psychology Compass, in research, defines this relational competence as the degree to which someone stands up and speaks for their own positions when facing someone who does not think the same. This skill will allow you to defend your rights and say “no” without guilt and “yes” without fear.

It is always a good time to put filters before manipulation

You may have had traumatic experiences due to this harmful behavior. Becoming aware that “yes, I am a manipulable person” overwhelms and worries you, it is true. But we assure that change is possible and With appropriate strategies and new attitudes, you will be able to prevent this dynamic from arising again.

You deserve to create healthy bonds to trust, respectful bonds that make you flourish, without draining you, without diminishing you. Invest in yourself, develop the skills mentioned here and you will discover positive changes. In addition, If you perceive that it is not possible, do not hesitate to request specialized help; It will guide you to empower yourself and put filters on those who hurt you.

You might be interested…