How can I give emotional support to my partner during a difficult time?

A layoff, the loss of a loved one, the diagnosis of an illness, bad news… Surely, at some point, you have asked yourself “how to give emotional support to my partner in a difficult moment?”. The main thing is to know how to validate everything the loved one feels, without passing any value judgment. You must be their refuge, their safe place on those difficult days.

There are many ways to provide support, but not all of them are the most appropriate. Sometimes, no matter how much you want it, you will not be able to resolve for your partner what makes him suffer or distresses him. There will be issues that you will need to address on your own.

However, you will be there to listen to his words, to caress his heart and hold him when he feels like he can’t take it anymore. In the following reading we give you all the keys to always be that healing support.

Keys to giving emotional support to my partner in a difficult moment

Emotional support in the couple is the nutrient that builds, cares for and strengthens the emotional bond. What’s more, as they point out in a work by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, This interrelational psychological exercise even relieves depressive symptoms. It is a craft full of intentions and appropriate strategies to heal and relieve.

Just as you try to provide the best help in those difficult moments, it is essential that the other person also knows how to do it with you. Love is reciprocity; Knowing how to offer good mutual support will make the relationship more satisfying and happy.. Below, we describe what strategies are useful in these contexts.

Validate your partner’s emotions

Whenever you wonder how I can provide emotional support to my partner during a difficult time, start with the most important task: validating.. Validation consists of leaving space, recognizing and accepting what the other person feels without judging or modifying that state.

In this regard, a study published by Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation highlights the usefulness of this strategy. Thanks to it, states such as shame, sadness, fear, etc. are relieved. Take note of how to carry it out:

Ask your partner how he feels. Encourage him to express without fear what he thinks and experiences. Do not judge what he says or expresses. Listen to him actively and empathetically. Let him vent with tears if he needs to. Respect his perspective and do not minimize whatever you verbalize. Reaffirm with phrases like “I’m here with you,” “I understand you.” Don’t want to change that emotional state; it’s about validating what you experience.

Caress, hug, give your closeness

When a person goes through a difficult time, they feel alone and connect exclusively with their difficult emotions. Caresses and hugs act in a cathartic way to give security and make the loved one see that they have you by their side.. When you suffer, the physical contact of people who love you comforts more than words.

In fact, as noted in an article in the scientific journal Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, non-sexual physical contact, such as hugs, kisses and caresses, is an essential pillar to strengthen attachment in a relationship. Do not hesitate, therefore, to offer these samples to your partner.

Communicate your availability

There is a dynamic that frequently appears in emotional relationships. When someone is dealing with a bad time, they don’t want to worry their loved one. Sometimes, people choose to repress their feelings so that the other person does not suffer. To avoid this situation, Let your partner know that you are available for whatever they need, that you want to be their support in any circumstance.

You don’t have to ask him every moment how he is and how he feels. It is enough to remind her that you love her, that you are by her side and that she can share every thought and emotion with you.

When providing emotional support to your partner, it is essential that you do not neglect yourself. Sometimes, in your desire to offer the best help to your loved one, you can end up with an overload of stress and exhaustion. Take care of yourself, save space for yourself and suggest to the person you want to request specialized help if they need it.

Avoid blaming yourself and appreciate it

As they point out in a work published in Advances in social sciences research journal, Emotional support has a direct relationship with emotional intelligence. This means that, to be your partner’s best refuge in those difficult moments, you will have to hone this skill to the maximum.

It is important that, to safeguard their mental well-being, you guide them so that they do not blame themselves for the situation they are going through. This negatively valenced emotion destroys self-esteem and fills thoughts with pessimism. To avoid these dynamics, take note of some strategies:

Strengthens his self-esteem and self-image. Try to make him see the situation objectively. Propose him to look ahead, set new goals. Try to make him aware of his negative or irrational ideas. Guide him to see himself in a more respectful and self-compassionate way. Value To your partner, remind them of their strengths, the things they have done, and how loved they are. Offer them strategies to regulate their difficult emotions (relaxation techniques, journaling, etc.).

Reinforce the progress, do not focus on the steps backwards

John Gottman is one of the leading experts on relationships. His approach, scientific and always based on meticulous studies, has been providing us with valuable advice on this matter for years. One of his best-known books is Seven golden rules for living as a couple: an exhaustive study on relationships and coexistence (2010).

In this work he reveals that one of the biggest enemies in a relationship is criticism or reproach. Thus, in the context of emotional support, It is essential that you celebrate any progress that your partner makes and never reproach him for any setbacks.. Falls and steps back are a normal element of any healing process.

Good humor, the anchor to regulate emotions

It’s true, it may be difficult for you to resort to jokes and laughter when your partner is going through a bad time. However, recent research, such as that published in Current Psychology, highlights how humor, appreciation and active listening are crucial for emotional regulation in couples.

Is about always maintain a positive attitude, capable of offering light and encouraging, when possible, fun moments that awaken smiles in your partner.

Remind him that being upset is understandable, but that he can ask for help

When you wonder how to give emotional support to my partner in a difficult time, remember one aspect. We all need to understand that suffering is part of life and that going through a bad time is normal. Make him/her see that this pain will not last forever, that this situation will be temporary and that he/she is not alone.. Together you can tackle it.

On the other hand, if this situation exceeds their coping strategies or the anguish extends over time, suggest going to therapy. Raise that possibility without sounding like an obligation or threat. Remind him that you will be by his side during this process and that there is nothing more common than seeking professional help when it is needed.

Take care of yourself, to take care of your partner

To care for, support and give the best of yourself to the person you love, you must also take care of yourself.. Your job is not to save the other, it is to be by their side so that the other person feels stronger and can address their problems.

Have your moments of solitude, have your little moments of leisure, talk to friends and family and don’t alter your routines completely. Safeguarding your physical and mental well-being is a priority in these circumstances. To be the strongest refuge for your loved one, take care of yourself and manage stress well. Only in this way will they move forward through that complicated moment in the best way.

Emotional support in the couple: a nutrient that should never be missing

Giving emotional support to your partner in difficult times is as decisive as knowing how to provide it to you. It’s more, Not only is it necessary to know how to confer this type of craftsmanship in difficult moments, day-to-day life also requires this competence.. Good communication, sincerity, respect, reciprocity and empathy are seeds that make this healing process flourish.

Do not hesitate to qualify yourself in this area and grow in this area, because happiness in sexual-affective relationships is not based only on love. Take care of yourself and offer the best support in small problems and the most adverse challenges, this will make it easier for you to advance in well-being and satisfaction.

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