Heal a broken heart

Everyone has had to heal a broken heart at some point in their life. A breakup is, after all, a momentary wound to the deepest “I.” A fracture that remains imprinted in a moment of our life cycle, but that should not, by any means, determine our future. These types of blows, like broken bones, heal, but yes, we must heal ourselves in the best way.

Likewise, that experience of losing something important It can occur in many situations and not only in love situations.. Some may have fallen in love with someone who did not love them back. Others have experienced that this bond was inevitably fading and, why not, our hearts can also break due to the loss of a very dear friendship.

As curious as it may seem to us, There are people who accept that wound for a long time. They make it theirs silently. There are those who say “no” to falling in love again, because after that lost love a new relationship no longer makes sense. This and other types of behaviors indicate, without a doubt, that we do not want (or do not know how) to heal a broken heart.

Thus, and no matter how much they go through these bad experiences, you can always start from scratch. Now, you have to be willing to do it right and take the necessary measures. If we lock ourselves in and make sadness our best friend, life lowers its curtains. and everything loses momentum, color, hope.

You have to work on those dull and sick emotions. It is necessary to change focus, correct thoughts, improve self-esteem to heal a broken heart. It is a delicate task, but it always brings good results.

I will never find someone like me

This type of thinking is universal and totally wrong.. If you have known people in love who lost what they wanted, or have experienced it firsthand, you will see that this phrase is more than recurrent: «I will never find someone like me».

Logically, where there is love there is the belief that that person is unique in the whole world, that you will never like anyone else again. It’s a mistake. As time eliminates feelings and you meet new people, you realize that There are many types of people of all kinds and it is possible that you will find someone similar to what you wanted.

No breakup, disappointment, rejection or loss should put an end to our emotional hope. No one deserves to be a slave to certain circumstances. Furthermore, adopting these mindsets of stagnation leads to frustration and rigid thinking. Let us therefore understand that life is change, it is movement, it is learning to take care of what we love, but also to let go of what can no longer be. to allow other winds to arrive.

How to heal a broken heart according to science

The emotional pain caused by a broken heart is unbearable. We remain immobilized, blocked and unable to think about anything other than the person we love. Now, as curious as it may seem to us, science makes it clear: to face a breakup what you have to do is stop listening to your mind.

We know that this suggestion is almost impossible to fulfill. However, When we go through a trance of this caliber we must be clear that the mind and its thoughts can be our worst enemy. and this is so for a very specific reason. Lucy Brown, neuroscientist at Einstein College of Medicine, New York, explains to us in several of her studies and works that When we face a breakup, loss or rejection, the brain works with other, more primitive neural systems.. They are in fact very similar to those that make us hungry or thirsty. Therefore, it is very difficult to be able to “turn off” that need, that pain imprinted and compulsive in our brain. Hence the mind feeds on that pain and makes us continue remembering scenes, moments, words…

Now, we can all mitigate that pain; a suffering that the brain interprets as real and equates it to a burn. These tips help heal a broken heart.

1. Heal self-concept

We know that love favors our growth, expands and enriches us. Therefore, A breakup is, above all, a direct blow to our self-concept. We can make the mistake of blaming ourselves, projecting disappointment onto ourselves or seeing ourselves as empty entities without that person by our side.

The emotional consequences left by these realities are undoubtedly immense. In fact, as Professor David A. Sbarra, from the Department of Psychology at the University of Arizona, explains in a study, It is common for our self-esteem to be diminished and for us to carry emotions such as sadness and anger for weeks and months.

Therefore, we must heal our identity and our self-concept. We must rebuild our own being and focus all efforts on ourselves.

2. Zero contact

It is important to make the decision to leave memories behind to heal a broken heart. For this it is necessary that we establish zero contact. Do not look at photos of them, nor leave objects on display that remind you of the person.or contact in any way, not online, not by SMS, not by phone, etc.

The phrase “With your hands full you will not receive anything new” It is totally true. If you stay in contact with the person you like, you won’t be able to have eyes for anyone else. That is why you make the decision to “close the door” and make way for the new thing that is yet to come.

3. Avoid the places your ex usually frequents

Seeing it frequently can leave your wounds open for longer than necessary. Avoid places you frequent. Take a different route to work or class. These small inconveniences will help you heal faster.

4. Stay busy

There is no better medicine than keeping your mind busy, especially if it is doing things you like. It is forbidden to stay without doing anything, because inactivity brings frustration. Therefore, even if you don’t have things to do, go out and play sports, occupy your hours by signing up for a course, activity, outing, etc.

5. Meet new people

Social relationships bring many gratifications. If you meet new people and find the right people with whom you have feeling and there is connection, You will realize that in life you can always start from scratch and the best way is starting with your social relationships.

6. Do things you’ve never done before

Whether you choose to hike, surf, or dance, take time to do new and exciting things. Enjoy your new freedom and independence! Take this time to do all the fun things your partner never wanted or enjoyed doing with you.

7. Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself is a very important part of healing your heart for a while, recovering from emotional pain. When the heart suffers, there is more stress than necessary, which is why We must take care of ourselves more than ever, adopting a healthy life in which there is a balanced diet, good rest with stable schedules and regular exercise.

8. Patience and acceptance

Everything in this life is temporary, and the emotional pain was not going to be less. Keep going on your path even if your heart has been broken, carrying the pain but without stopping walking, with patience, knowing that it is something temporary that will heal with the passing of the days, and acceptance, knowing that life is like that, Sometimes it is wonderful, but other times, you have to go through the pain.

9. Don’t deny reality

Trying to block out memories about what we experienced with someone will only make us focus more on those memories. Likewise, denying that we feel bad when it is obvious that we are devastated will only make us notice a tension that we cannot get out of.

10. Focus on your responsibilities

It’s okay to take some time to grieve during that sad time, but don’t forget your other responsibilities. Keep trying hard in your career or school. Stay connected and in touch with your family and friends so you don’t lose your essential support group. Get enough sleep, have a healthy diet.

11. Spend time with your friends

They can help you, comfort you and clear your mind by having a good time. You don’t have to do anything special in particular. Plan to have a movie night, go to the zoo, go to the beach, or eat at a new restaurant

12. Don’t jump into a “rebound” relationship

You may feel a sense of urgency to find a new romantic partner, but so-called “rebound” relationships will prevent you from moving on from your old one. If you don’t take the time to reflect on a relationship that recently ended, you may end up repeating patterns or making the same mistakes in a new one.

13. Seek help

When we feel very distressed it is common that we tend to isolate ourselves and become more lonely. However, this attitude only makes the situation worse. Instead, Seek support from your loved ones or trusted people. Talk to them about how you feel, cry and vent to them. Your company and words of encouragement can be a powerful balm that helps heal a broken heart.

For its part, It is also beneficial to go to psychotherapy. In this case, a professional will give you the necessary tools so that you can overcome the grief of the breakup and strengthen your self-esteem.

Be careful with masking the pain

Many people find themselves unable to face pain face to face.

All these bad attitudes are nothing more than evasions of reality. In this way, the pain will not heal, but will be masked and will self-destruct little by little.. Not only will you continue with emotional pain, but you will also have added more problems that will damage your health.

The smartest way to heal a broken heart is to face emotional pain. Taking care of yourself, accepting, opening new doors and letting the pain weaken as the days go by.

Besides, Whoever manages to heal a broken heart in a resilient way and accepting that negative situation will have acquired some tools and learningwhich will contribute to their personal development and emotional reinforcement.

Everything can have a positive reading, even the most painful of breakups can teach us many things. However, it will take time until we can reflect, distancing ourselves from the pain it has caused us. But, be patient. In the end, experiences are at the base of our learning and that is…